Grease Live Recap!

Omg!!! I have to say that I really enjoyed watching Grease Live last night… I know that there were changes from the original and believe me I know that freakin movie like the back of my hand, but I still loved watching it. The actors were amazing, they all had oh my Lort (Madea voice) awesomeballz voices. I’m just saying Julianne Hough was sooooo good as Sandy. When she sang “Hopelessly Devoted” I got chills and they were multiplying… Hehehe I cracks myself up. Speaking of who was super awesomeballz was freaking Vanessa Hudgens. She did phenomenal as Rizzo. Rizzo is my favorite and considering what she was going through emotionally she was fanfuckingtastic!!! I just don’t know how she was able to even get out of bed let alone have the performance she did. When she sang “There Are Worst Things” I was just sitting there watching her, and usually I’m singing along acting out the scene… Just so you have a clear idea of how transfixed I was. OMG and Boyz II Men people… Done!!!

Okay so you know (if you watched Grease Live last night) that it wasn’t an exactly like the Original Grease, which of course I knew it wouldn’t be, but there were a few things I wasn’t really into. One was the songs I didn’t know, and it had nothing to do with the people singing I thought Keke Palmer and Carly Rae Jepsen were great I just didn’t like their songs because I couldn’t sing along with them. The thing that did bother me was the dance moves!!! I get that it’s not going to be the same but at least the parts that everybody knows like in Grease Lightening and the Hand Jive those should have been incorporated into the new dance moves, I was waiting to dance with them. All in all I had fun watching and criticizing it, and I feel like everyone did a fantabulouso job!! I applaud you all because that had to be incredibly hard to do all of that live!! Well that’s all for me today…Till next time.

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily (just so you know I should’ve been apart of Grease Live I would’ve totally nailed it! Just saying.)

Bingeing on Netflix

As my friend Strawberry Short Titz would say… OH MY LANTA!!! Guys Making A Murderer is freaking BANANAS!!! This series had me laughing one second to angry and yelling at my TV to feeling sad to being scandalized. This freaking documentary makes you feel every emotion on the emotional spectrum. All of my Saturday and most of my Sunday was spent watching this series. I felt like I was apart of the Avery family and then at one point I was like I wanna be a lawyer so I could be a part of the Dream Team… Me and Saca Moco named Averys defense lawyers Strang and Buting The Dream Team. I’m telling you if you haven’t watched this series yet you should, it just sucks you in. It’s on Netflix!! Doooooo it, just Doooo it (as Shai LaBeouf would say).

I haven’t been this invested in a show since Sons of Anarchy!!! I first got into Sons of Anarchy when I realized how deeeelish Charlie Hunnam is, but I continued watching it…well obviously because of Charlie’s ass…but also because that show was so captivating. At the time I started watching SOA (it was a Friday) the show was about to start its 6th season on the Tuesday coming up, and Netflix at the time had up to season 4. When I started watching it I had no intentions of catching up to the current season. Well SOA had other plans. Not only did I watch the 4 seasons on Netflix I ended up calling out of work that Monday and bought the 5th season on ITunes so I could finish before season 6 started. Yes you read me right I called out of work and bought a whole freaking season, and watched 5 full seasons of a show that has about 13 episodes per season with a running time of and hour or more in the span of 3 and a half days!!! That is how Cray this show was. OOOO how I miss you SOA!

Clearly my weekend was action packed hence why I didn’t post this last night… Well that’s all folks!!

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily (Good Morning!!)

Ps. I hit 100 posts last week… I know I’m super awesomeballz!

What Color of the Week is it?

So I’ve been on a mental health retreat. I didn’t go anywhere, just stayed home watched TV… Mostly hallmark, HGTV, Food network and Disney… Singing at the top of my lungs around the house and doing a 1000 piece puzzle. I completely gave up on the puzzle by the way.

On this mental health mini vacation I’ve realized that when I’m not working I lose track of what day it is. Usually at work Monday’s is Blue scrub Monday’s because obviously your feeling real sad and “blue” that your weekend is over and all that jazz.

Tuesday is just well the day in the middle of blue Monday and Pink Wednesday. Wednesday isn’t only pink because of Mean Girls, but I’ve noticed that I wear pink on Wednesdays a lot and I’m not consciously doing it. Wait maybe it is because of Mean Girls, it was just ingrained in my brain.

Thursday is the other day that starts with a T. Finally Friday is Jean day. That’s how I know what day of the week I’m in. Because I haven’t worked since last Wednesday I’ve been lost in life.

The only reason I know what day it is today is because I have to go back to work tomorrow and I can’t wear jeans because it not Friday and I’m currently wearing a somewhat pink shirt. It’s crazy how my brain coordinates what day is what by colors and apparently having a day start with the letter T.

Because I clearly did absolutely nothing for the past couple of days… This is the extent of my exciting life. Well it’s been super swell.

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,

Emily ( I really don’t wanna go back to work tomorrow. Saddest panda.)

Ps. I just got an email showing me apartments for rent in San Diego. I had no clue I was thinking of moving to San Diego. Weird.

Damn You Elevator!

I’m having this craving for coffee and I don’t understand why. I’m not a big coffee drinker I prefer tea, but this coffee craving is taking over. It’s like everything I see is coffee, in the TV shows everybody’s drinking it. I feel like every commercial I’ve seen today was either Dunkin Donuts, Folgers, or Starbucks (I might be lying about this one I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Starbucks commercial). Anyway I just thought you should know that I’m craving a nice big cup of coffee preferably Iced French Vanilla light and sweet from Dunkin Donuts… Just in case anybody wanted to buy me one or whatever.

I’m sure most know by now that I’m a little on the weird crazy random thoughts side so this should not come by surprise, anywho the other day when I was in the bathroom I saw a fly and my first instinct is to slap it away because it was in my personal space. After I slapped it away I started to wonder what the fly was thinking, so of course I’ve created a list for you… Thoughts of a Fly:
1. WTF why are you trying to kill me?
2. What have I ever done to you? Stop it, leave me alone.
3. Aye I’m flying here!
4. I wonder if this car will give me a ride on its wind shield (obviously flys are super smart and know what a car and wind shield is… If you didn’t know this then you should go watch the movie A Bugs Life)
5. Hey stop trying to slap me I’m just trying to fly but you keep putting obstacles in my way.
6. I vant to suck your blood, bwuhahahaha (this is how the Vampire Fly aka Mosquito would sound)

Now I would like to end today with a little bit of knowledge. The most awkward situation/ place you will ever be in is an elevator. People trying not to make to much eye contact, or trying not to be to close to one another, or the lack of personal space, and the worst part is being that person who’s waiting for an elevator and when it finally gets to you but it’s full to the point some Final Destination shit can happen and everybody in the elevator just looks at you with pity in their eyes because you now have to wait for the next elevator to come while those bastards get a head start to getting to their cars and getting home before you would get to your house and it has nothing to do with the fact that they might live closer than you and has everything to do with the fact you were that loser who couldn’t be on that first elevator because there were a thousand people already on there… Damn you!!! So don’t mind my run on sentence I don’t believe in proper punctuation I feel like it kills creativity… I’m just saying.

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( it’s either 2 or 3 days till Cali I feel like I shouldn’t count today because it’s basically over already… Right?)

Vino Viernes!!

When I got home today I was welcomed with the best thing ever!!! My cousins and brother telling me how much they missed me and loved me! Mmmh (sigh) to be loved so much… It’s the best thing ever!!! As we all know… Today is Friday!!! Vino Viernes!!!! For today’s wine I tried something new… Of course it’s still by Barefoot because honestly I don’t drink anything else… I had some Pinto Noir. Before I altered my glass of wine I took a sip like the classy people. The following is how to drink wine like a classy person:

1. One needs a wine glass… It’s a lie when they say size doesn’t matter, because it does… So get the biggest glass you have.

2. Pour about a sip into said wine glass.

3. Hold said wine glass by the stem ( which is the skinny stick part… I should’ve really done a wine etiquette Friday… To late for that now we must learn on the fly)

4. Slightly spin wine glass, and when I say spin I mean enough that the wine looks like a small whirl pool.

5. Stopping spinning after about two seconds.

6. This is a big one you must sniff the win… I have no clue why I’ve just seen and read that this is what should be done.

7. Take a sip but make sure there’s some air with it, as if you were slurping ( I’ve seen my uncle do this, apparently it’s suppose to bring out the real taste… Idk, whatever)

8. Finally, after you’ve tasted it and even if you like it or not pour yourself a larger glass (if you like the taste drink up… If not add some sprite to that bitch and drink up!!)

So what I’m trying to say is that Pinto Noir is a dry wine, and I’m not a fan of that kind but if Barefoot makes it I’m gonna drink. Obviously I added a generous amount of sprite.

I just have to tell you my reason for getting Pinto Noir… I knew from the beginning it was dry, but a when I saw the bottle in the liquor store I fell in love with it. First of all the bottle has a purple label… I love purple!!! Secondly I saw an episode of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt a while ago when I binged watched the whole first season in one day. If you haven’t seen it yet go on Netflix right now and watch it and if you don’t have Netflix I’m sorry but we cannot be associated with each other… I joke I joke… But seriously get Netflix because this show is amazeballz!! Anyway in and episode Kimmys roommate Titus makes a music video of a song he wrote called Pinot Noir! It is freaking highlarious!!! Please if you get anything from this post it is to look up Titus’s song Pinto Noir… I’m begging you!! OOOO and you should watch Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.. Just saying!

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( Pinto Noir, Caviar, Myanmar, Mid-sized car, You don’t have to be popu-lar Find out who your true friends are?… That’s just a little snippet of the song for you guys)

I Love Making Lists!

Just finished watching the movie The Giver… All I gots to say is… EVERYONE MUST WATCH THIS! I don’t care if it’s not your kind of movie… Dooo it!!! Okay okay maybe I should tell you a couple of things to persuade you to watch it!

1. I said it’s amazing and that should be reason enough… I joke I joke… But seriously watch it it’s really good.

2. The main character (played by Brenton Thwaites) is absolutely gorgeous… Although I thought he was like 16ish turns out he’s actually 26 (thank the lord for that).

3. Brenton Thwaites is Australian… And also plays Prince Philip in Maleficent… Nuff said.

4. Jeff Bridges… Loves him!!!

5. The goddess of all Meryl MotherFing Streep… Hellur!!!

6. Cute babies all over the place

7. It can be a total mind fuck, which I love!

8. Eric Northman (Alexander Skarshard) is still a beautiful creature… If you don’t know Erin Northman you better get up on that True Blood!

9. If movies aren’t your thing, this movie is based off a Book by the same name… And if the movie was this good… The book is probably 20 times more amazing (as books usually are).

10. T. Swizzle, Tay Tay, Swifty, my home girl Taylor Swift makes a 10 minute cameo! So what are you freaking waiting for!!!

I just told my cousin Saca Moco that I wasn’t gonna write about the movie… I lied I wanted to keep him in suspense!

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( just so you know it’s hot as the Devils sons armpit in this freaking room)

My Imagination Always Wins!

My imagination is on another level sometimes! I’m not going to lie though, having such an active imagination is where most if not all my creativity comes from. Well that and being awesome… It’s really a toss up between the two.

Why do I bring this up you ask… Well today at work when I was walking to the bathroom I started thinking that I was some secret agent and the bathroom is a hidden way to get to the secret headquarters where all the spies go and congregate, and receive their missions. Once that thought popped into my head I was like WTF is wrong with me… It’s just a normal bathroom crazy! While I was sitting there doing number 1 (you know the pee pee) I realize I do this a lot. I’m not sure if it’s because of all the movies I watch that I start thinking I’m living out a scene; it’s not like I’m acting this shit out, there’s nobody in my head calling cut… It’s really happening in my head in vivid detail.

That’s one of the reasons I don’t like to watch scary movies… It’s not even the movie that freaks me out, I fucking scare myself. I imagine scarier shit than anybody can come up with and that never goes away!!! After I watch a scary movie I feel like I can’t trust anything. One night I went into the bathroom (maybe it’s the bathroom that’s messing with my head) and I turned on the light and pulled the shower curtain back as fast as I could to make sure nobody was there. The other day I was a Sluttie McSluttersons house and when I was walking back to my car and where I parked was in like the darkest corner ever under a tree… I saw twenty thousand different scenarios in my head from every possible scary movie. So I unlocked my car and jumped in (because if you’ve learned anything from a scary movie never longer too long) and turned around to make sure nobody was there to shank me and then I looked in my rear view mirror just in case that mofo got in after I turned my head. Mind you we weren’t even watching anything scary, we were actually planning our trip to Canada! I’m telling you my imagination is going to give me a freaking heart attack one day.

There is one thing I love about it though, when I read books I can see everything I read as if it was really happening in front of me. That’s one of the reasons I love reading more than watching TV. I like seeing the things my mind comes up with. I feel like it’s also I sign of my rebellious nature to not want to see what other people want me to see… It’s a problem, and I might be slightly crazy! Well there you have a little snippet of what goes on in my cranium.

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( just so you know I make believe that I’m actually writing to you from the moon… Don’t judge me!!)

All I Wanted was some Peanut M&Ms!

I have a bone to pick with freaking vending machines!!! Today I was extra broke right and I really needed something sweet after lunch. I was gonna get M&M the peanut ones…I would’ve totes got the pretzel ones because those are theBomb.Com, but those weren’t in the choices I was presented with.

So I usually have lunch in my car, and it’s not because I don’t have friends (just in case you were wondering… I have a whole bunch of friends!!). Anyway me and Boobielicious have lunch together in my car so we can watch Orange is the New Black without anyone bothering us. While we were watching the show I got this M&M craving, so I start looking around my car for spare change. I only found 75cents (and in the store the candy is like 90cents) in nickels and dimes, and another 50cents in pennies, but because I didn’t want to look like a cheapie I decided I was gonna go to the vending machine and use the thousands of pennies I had in my car.

We get to the vending machine and this mofo doesn’t take pennies!!! I freaking dirtied my hand holding these Fing pennies for them not to be used. Pennies are Fing coins, they are a form of currency!!! You take these Fing pennies and you like it! How dare you treat Honest Abe’s side profile with such distain! RUDENESS!!! The vending machine was freaking lucky that Boobielicious had M&Ms and gave them to me, or else shit would’ve gotten real. That vending machine wouldn’t know what hit it! Watch your back vending machine. Anyway moral of the story Pennies have feelings too!

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( I was originally going to give everyone clues on how you know you’ve met the “One”… But this fucking vending machine pissed me off!!)

Vino Viernes!!!!

So I’ve been slipping…Ayo I’m slippin I’m fallin I can’t get up, Ayo I’m slippin I’m fallin I can’t get up, Ayo I’m in slippin I’m fallin I gots to get, Get me back on my feet so I can tear shit up… Whoa!!! DMX jus’ don’ took over my body! Any way what I was saying is that it was brought to my attention by one of my friends, Mrs. Shark, that my Vino Viernes game hasn’t be on point. She literally said “no Vino Viernes, this is a disaster I’m deleting my account.” So from now on no matter how late I get home or if I’m not in the mood to drink (yes this happens… Gosh, I’m only human) I WILL drink on Vino Viernes. Because I don’t want to be yelled at again.

Now on to the wine!!! Today I’m trying a new brand. It’s called… MÉNAGE À TROIS… Hehehehe. When I saw it at the liquor store I just had to buy it. The name just pulled me in!!! So it’s Moscato… And if you know me you know I’m a big Moscato fan, aaaaand this one is in my top 5 on the Moscato list!!! It’s a little drier than what I’m used to, but it’s just Sooo good I even had to share with the parentals!!! I definitely recommend this one not only because it’s super DEEEELISH, but also because come on the name of the brand is pretty AWESOMEBALLZ!!

Soooo last night I was sucked into the YouTube Vortex!! What is the YouTube Vortex you ask? (when I ask myself these questions, I like to make believe there’s someone else actually asking me). Anyway the YouTube Vortex is when you start off watching some video at lets say 9pm and then the next time you look at the time it’s 2 in the morning and your like… WTF have I been watching for the past FIVE hrs!! Yes this happened to me last night! Everyone sit down its story time!!!
Once upon a time on the fourth day of the sixth month in thy two thousand and fifteenth year… This will take forever if I try and write my whole story in my version of Old English.
So it all started with a Buzzfeed video about a Starbucks interview where the last phase is how to write people’s names. Then right under that video there was a video called…why Starbucks spells your name wrong? It’s freaking HIGHLARIOUS!!! If you’ve ever been on YouTube you know that there’s a list either on the side or under the video you just watched that shows similar videos from what you’ve just watched… Well under that video was a video of how Ariana Grande would order at Starbucks. That is where the vortex sucks you in! You’ve been warned people!!
So when I clicked on that I watched it for a little bit, I didn’t really like it so I minimized it… And this is where my mistake happened… I should’ve just closed out YouTube but noooo. The next thing I know 2 hours have passed of me watching Ariana Grande, Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston, and Kelly Clarkson sing live! Not only were the videos of their own songs, I started watching the ones where they sing the national anthem. Giiiirrrl let me tell you… Goose bumps!!!
The next thing I know I’m watching videos of the funniest best man/maid of honor speeches! I have no clue how I got here!!! So now while I’m watching this I’m like if I ever become someone’s MOH… My speech has to be freaking AMAZEBALLZ!!! Then I was like what if I never get to become someone’s MOH, how will people ever hear this amazing, funny, heartwarming, but mostly funny speech that I’m preparing!
That’s when I stumbled upon a speech from the grooms sister!! And I was like YAAAAASSS!!! I have one of those things, you know a brother, so all I’m saying is my brothers future wife better let me have my moment in the spot light, because if not that bitch gon’ get got!!!

Dearest Brother of mine if your reading this I have two very important things to tell you: 1. Hurry the F*** Up and get married because this speech is gonna be LENGEN… Wait for it and I hope your not lactose intolerant because the second half of this word is…DARY!!! And 2. Tell future wifey not to get on my bad side! So yea I’m done bye!

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily (yes, yes I did just quote Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother and I did it real good)

Ps. I’m obsessed with Buzzfeed!!

Final Destination…Baby?!?!

I know I know this post is super late, but what can I say I got lazy.

Today I had this weird déjà vu feeling come over me when I was driving to work. When I finally got to work I realized what it was… I had pictured a scene from final destination. I know your probably extremely confused, so I’m gonna break it down for you. The whole way to work this morning I was surrounded by trucks. At one point I was in the middle lane with a truck hauling like a million wood planks on my right .. okay it was more like 20 but whatevs I’m dramatic deal with it, on my left a truck had some type of metal poles in the back and in front of me was a truck full of flammable container, I’m telling you somebody was trying to scare the crap out of me. Congrats you have succeeded.

At one point I thought I just rolled up into a scene from Final Destination, and of course that’s when I had this That’s so Raven moment ravenand pictured a scene from one of the movies… the one where that truck lost control and it was carrying a bunch of logs and the logs got loose and done killed mad peeps. I freaked my self out, on my way home every time I saw a truck I flinched. Final destination done messed with my head man! The worst part is I haven’t seen any of the movies in like forever… So it’s not like I just watched them and that’s why I starting getting visions.

Anywho onto a completely different subject, the other day I was with Boobielicious and I don’t really remember…ooo wait we had just finished eating dinner and she remembered that she had to buy her little nugget nephew something for his birthday. So we went to Toys ‘R Us/ Babies R’Us so she can get him a gift (I’m not exactly sure where the commas go…which I find HIGHlarious because I worked there once upon a time). Once we were there I remembered that I had to buy something for my little nugget god son because his bday is coming up…as we walked around the store picking up random board games like clue, and jumbo Jenga which I really wanted to buy, but then I remembered that I hate regular size Jenga, so why would I buy the Jumbo one. Any way you didn’t need to know any of that, long story short (it’s not really a long story, I don’t know why people say that, I feel like their Spark notes version of the story is probably just as long as the original story, maybe even longer.) sorry I keep distracting my self. Any way there was a lot of pregnant woman in the area. After seeing these woman, I swear to you, for a split second I heard my biological clock ticking…right after that though I felt a sharp jab in my lower region; which I took it as VAnessa GINA (that’s the name of my girlie parts…like the sublte way I highlighted the word vagina..hahahahahaha I crack myself up), anyway that was her way of basically saying “Bitch please, you can barely take care of yourself, turn away and keep it moving.” Thank you Vanessa Gina for knocking some sense into me. That’s all folks (think of Bugs Bunny when you say this please and thank you).

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,

Emily (I think I still hear my baby making clock ticking…STOP YOURSELF NOW!!!)