On this weeks episode I talk about my thanksgiving and that my family and I have decided to start our own home renovation show! In honor of the snow “Baby, it’s cold outside” gets its time on “I’m Sorry, Que”
This podcast is available basically everywhere! Follow me on Instagram: @lifeasamoon and @em_ily421
Follow the links below to get to the podcast!!
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/life-as-a-moon/id1485767206?uo=4
On this weeks episode I talk about my thanksgiving and that my family and I have decided to start our own home renovation show! In honor of the snow “Baby, it’s cold outside” gets its time on “I’m Sorry, Que”
This podcast is available basically everywhere! Follow me on Instagram: @lifeasamoon and @em_ily421
Follow the links below to get to the podcast!!
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/life-as-a-moon/id1485767206?uo=4
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!
This Thanksgiving was freaking stressful for me!! This year I had to actually cook the food!!! Do you understand how stressful that is to not poison people! Yea I had my mom there to tell me what to do, but still she trusted me not to fu🌙ck it up. Thankfully everything came out good and nobody was poisoned or got the you know what💩. All I want to know is how my mom does this every year. That sh🌙t is f🌙cking exhausting!
Anyway on top of becoming the best chef ever, I’ve decided that the older I get the more I need to start wearing make-up.
Every morning I feel like I look like the dead! BUT! When one decides to start wearing make-up you kinda have to know what tones you should use, and let me tell you that makes me not want to wear make-up. Not only do you need the correct tone, you also have to know how to apply it! You also have to know what brush is for what. So basically I have to go to the school of You-Tube and study under the make-up gurus of the world. This is already waaaay to much work. AND that also means I have to start getting up earlier to get all that sh🌙t on my face!! I don’t like to break my sleep! I love sleeping!!!
Well that’s all I have for tonight, I must continue playing Assassins Creed Origins!
Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Chef Emily (I had a very boring week… don’t judge me!)
So I started a cooking show (Started Wednesday ended Thursday) called La Loca En La Cocina which means The Crazy Woman in the Kitchen ( my mom made this title up and at first I was like damn you think I’m crazy, but as the night…I mean show progressed I understood). Anywho for Thanksgiving I helped my mom cook the most delicious food that anyone in the world could ever eat made by the best chef in the world…. ME!!! Just so everyone knows I have no clue how to cook, I just watch a lot of food network so basically I’m a professional. What and how was this show done? Good question random person. What I did was basically repeat everything my sous chef ( aka my mum) told me to do to the live studio audience (aka the wall above my stove). I had special guests come on the show like my brother, my cousin and my daughter Taily ( for those that don’t know she is my doggy daughter and her name is pronounced Tie-Lee… don’t ever fuck her name up she gets very upset and I can’t deal with her mood swings!).
My show consisted of me yelling at my sous chef for telling me what to do and then profusely apologizing because I needed my mum to tell me because I have no clue what I’m doing, and also mispronouncing herbs ( like Cumin was come-in, Thyme was THyme (hard TH), Paprika was PAP-RIKA), utensils ( Knife was K-nife, Wisk was that thing that looks like a metal light bulb that was missing parts, fork was fuck)and naming the turkey ( his name was Thomas with a hard TH). I channeled my inner Ramsey, Gordon Ramsey ( I don’t know why but I feel his name should be said Bonds way), Giada ( I smiled a lot), Emerald Legassie… I hope that’s how you spell it ( I BAMMed alot, especially with cheese… I don’t care if I am possibly, maybe, probably lactose intolerant I will still love you!), Paula Deen ( I sometimes had a country accent I don’t know why…ooo I remember every time a stick of butter was used my country accent showed up).
Finally I channeled my inner magical chef, who might have had a British accent mixed every now and then with Spanglish, and some times just straight up rated TV-MA… which I just looked up and it means only mature audiences can view. Yeah… I know SCANDALOUS! What I’m trying to tell you is that I will be winning an Emmy for the most amazing cooking/reality/family show ever!!!
Well you crazy kids… I say good day!
Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Chef Emily ( wow that has a nice ring to it!)
This is the first time I’ve ever based a whole post off the title. After reading said title you might be thinking this is going to turn into some inspirational speech about never giving up or taking one step at a time or trying to work your way up (insert inspirational words that have to do with stairs), BUUUUUT it has nothing to do with that. This is actually a rant about several sets of stairs I’ve seen. I have taken a pictures of these stairs so everyone can understand the confusion and quite honestly some anger because of said confusion. This might not be the best picture I could’ve taken… all I can say is that I was driving to work and I wasn’t trying to get beeped at by morning commuters for me to get a better picture SO DEAL WITH IT!!! I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to yell, just thinking about these stairs anger my soul.
Now that you’ve seen the stairs… WHERE DO THE STAIRS FUCKING LEAD? NO WHERE!! I don’t know if they are just there for decoration or if they are waiting till fucking pigs fly to continue the stairs to the sidewalk!! I DON’T KNOW!! No one can use the stairs, it’s not like that little patch of grass can do anything! You can’t garden there you can’t do anything there! I just don’t understand. Like is it the front of the houses I’m looking at or is it a backyard of fucking danger!! What were they thinking! And the house that these stairs belong to are beautiful, but why not finish the stairs. I just don’t understand. Now I’m all angry and I shouldn’t go to bed angry…or does that only apply to couples who live together, well know I’m angry and lonely isn’t that a great depressing combo. I say good day!
Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( I might also be angry because there is a huge possibility that the no Cheese experiment might have worked and I could possibly be lactose intolerant… isn’t that great!!! Right before the fucking holidays! All this delicious cheesy foods *sigh*)
In the spirit of Thanksgiving all I’m going to do tonight is make a list of the things I am thankful for, we shall call this list Emily’s Thanksgiving of Thankfulness List ( I know I know your super jealous of how my incredibly creative mind works).
1. The most important thing I’m thankful for is obviously my Awesomeness. Although if it weren’t for my parents I guess I wouldn’t be this awesome. In that case I’m most definitely grateful for my mommy and daddy. Without their individual Awesomness none of my super duper Awesomeness would exist, and that would just be super sad.
2. I’m thankful for my brothers ( I consider my cousin my brother so this thanksgiving he has been upgraded… Your welcome Saca Moco) without those two mofos, my life would’ve been rather dull and boring. Making fun of them is what I live for and without them I would have to be nice and make actual friends I’m not related to.
3. I’m thankful for my friends/slutties/sisters/boysters(boy sisters) for just being funny, crazy, sarcastic psychopaths that accept and embrace their crazy, because if not you’ll get cut from the group and there’s no coming back from that. We’ve all seen that happen, so don’t mess shit up for your selves.
4. Lastly, Im thankful for my office (my bathroom) where I write most posts from. Without this bathroom there would be no Life As A Moon because this is where all my ideas finally become something I can write about.
In all seriousness without any of the people on my list I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I am truly thankful to have each and everyone of you in my life. Without any of you I wouldn’t have anyone to laugh, cry, make up choreography to 3LW, sing, act, direct, or even watch Dancing with the Stars with. I love you all from the bottom of my heart… Especially you bathroom.
Love Ya From the Moon and Back,
Emily ( Happy Thanksgiving to all and to all a goodnight… I know that’s for Christmas but I feel like it just goes)
Life As A Moon 