What’s In My Closet?!

Guys every muscle in my body hurts… wait! Hold your applause; I know you probably think that I was working out or some nonsense like that, but I was not. “Why are you so sore then Emily?” Well I’m glad you asked. Yesterday I started a journey that I thought would take me about 3 hours or so, but I was sadly and painfully mistaken. This magically journey I speak of is cleaning my room. I really over estimated my cleaning abilities and extremely under estimated how f🌙cking messy my room actually was. 

You see I had an epiphany a couple of days ago that I should clean my closet and see what’s actually inside there because I haven’t seen the inside of my closet in over 2 years. In the previous times I’ve cleaned my room my closet was the go to, I would just shove everything in there and never speak of it to anyone. While I was thinking about cleaning out my closet I also had the bright idea to rearrange my room because I’m extremely bored at how it looks. So I started this quest yesterday (Saturday February 4th) at around 10am and we are here on Super Bowl Sunday (February 5th) and my f🌙cking room is still a work in progress. When I slid open those closet doors it felt like every life form flew out at me…it was like that stampede scene from Jumanji… I almost got suffocated by my own crap! 

While rummaging through ,what felt like Mary Poppins purse, I found so many cloths I forgot I had it was like a mixture of the best Christmas ever/ my own personal hell because as you may or may not know I am super lazy.

Well any who while my room is still under construction I shan’t take a picture, but once I am finished (or once it’s less messy) I shall show you my room! 

Well I’m off to watch the Super Bowl!
Love Ya From the Moon and Back,
Emily (I’m only watching the game because I’m in this pool at work and I want to see if I win some mula!)

Worst Week Ever!

Well this week has been a miserable one. Last weekend me and my mom decided to go on a diet. So you know its been a week without any sweets, and all the delicious non healthy things. I don’t mind eating healthier, I like veggies and fruits, and I don’t even mind not having carbs all the time. The thing that is making this torture is what my mother told me on Friday.

Friday night my parents and I went to Outback, my usual reaction would be like hell yeah free food and drinks… buuuuuut then again I’m on a diet and can’t have my Alice Springs Chicken Quesadilla. So I went with steak and some steamed veggies crap, but I was still okay with that because I was gonna have either a big glass of beer or my favorite a frozen peach Bellini (its called a Wally-B Darned but I’m not sure if I spelled it right). As I was saying I was cool not having my usual because I was gonna get my drink on.

Do you want to know what my mother said to me. She said I can’t have any delish alcoholic beverages while being on this diet… Blasphemy!! I felt scandalized, how could she say such horrid things to me. To clarify I asked if that also meant my most beloved Vino, Wine, Deliciousness in a bottle as well. She had the audacity to say yup nothing with alcohol those are empty calories, EMPTY CALORIES!! HOW RUDE. I know right,  how dare my mom say such mean things about something I love. Wine has never did me dirty… I cant say the same for other alcohol related things, because one to many shots and who knows what I’ll do or who I’ll become. But wine, that’s my home girl/home boy/best friends I ever had. I don’t consider wine alcohol; wine is just grape juice with a kick you know grown-up grape juice or something. It does magical things.

I told my mom that I’d just have beer, wine and deeeelish peach Bellini’s for dinner. I didn’t think it was a bad idea, but Mama Moon didn’t approve of this idea. so basically this week really just turned to crap on Friday night when I was told that I’m not allowed to have Alcohol. Whoa is me… What kind of world do we live in that drinking has calories in the first place. don’t even start with the skinny girl drinks, I’d rather drink gasoline then that crap. Well I’m off to have another miserable week. See ya next Sunday.

Love Ya from The Moon and Back,

Emily (I hope everyone is enjoying their wings and other scrumptious foods you’ll be eating on this fine Super Bowl Sunday; while I sit here eating celery and carrots and waiting for the Half-Time show… where you know Queen Bey is going to Slay.)