I’m Sorry, Que?

New episode up right now!!!

This week I talk about how I’m the greatest gift my mother ever received, moving out of my parents house and I completely butcher the song Ella y Yo by Aventura and Don Omar in the Im sorry, Que segment.

Linked below are all the platforms you can find the podcast. I hope you come by and experience life through me. 😂

Anchor:

https://anchor.fm/lifeasamoon

Apple Podcast:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/life-as-a-moon/id1485767206?uo=4

Spotify:

https://open.spotify.com/show/5yuaE0CsX5MuqHEaDYIjK4

Google Podcast:

https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy9mYjhmYmI0L3BvZGNhc3QvcnNz

Breaker:

https://www.breaker.audio/life-as-a-moon

Pocket Cast:

https://pca.st/8kxhqus0

Overcast:

https://overcast.fm/itunes1485767206/life-as-a-moon

A Change Gon’ Come

As the amazing Sam Cooke would say…”It’s been a looooong, a long time coming but I knooooow a change gon come… oh yes it is.” With that said, I’ve decided to change this blog into a podcast. I know right, I’m super cool. The podcast will keep the same name as the blog and the same format… even though we all know that there is no structure what so ever on this thing. But on the podcast you’ll get to hear my voice. And just like I like to sing on here for you, I will being singing on the podcast as well. Will it be the best singing you’ve ever heard… possibly, I don’t know what kind of singers you listen to. Or will it be the worst singing ever recorded in the world… probably. But you know what I say…Fuck it! I’m gonna did it anyway. 

So, if you would like to follow me into the podcast world (which I would absolutely love) My first episode will be up on Sunday!!!! I haven’t designated a day the episodes will go up, since you know I’m super indecisive, but I’ll figure it out eventually. I’m super excited about this change and also extremely nervous because you know I’ll be singing for reals, but it’s time for me to try something new and this is it! I will be posting the link to the episode here on Sunday, and if you want to know what else may be going on in my life please follow me on Instagram @lifeasamoon.

Well guys this blogging world has been fun. Hope to hear from you on my new podcasting adventure.
Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily (wish me luck 🤞🏽)

Where Did My Brain Go?

I’ve done some incredibly nerve-wrecking things and have had some pretty nerve induced moments in my life, but the nervousness I went through last week was insurmountable. Before I get to the shit show that went down last week let me be incredibly modest and just write about all the magnificent things that have happened in my life. It all started when my mom found out she was pregnant with the most magical being to ever exist… ok you don’t need to know that let’s just fast forward through my incredible existence. 

So, I’ve played sports throughout my life and there have been some nail biting moments then, buuuuut I’ve still done more hand shaking hyperventilating type things. I’ve auditioned for multiple singing competitions. “But Emily, why would that make you nervous? You seem like a pocket full of sunshine and merry-go-rounds, and you would never be nervous for anything.” Well I really appreciate the vote of confidence you have in me, but I actually have something called “Le stage fright”. I know right… ME…having stage fright…. impossible. Negator…extremely possible. When it comes to singing in front of people (doesn’t matter if I know them or not) I have some trouble. The only way I can sing in front of anyone and it doesn’t bother me is if we are related (because you can’t get rid of me I will always be a part of your family… bwuahahahaha) or if I’m really close to you. Ooo also I’ll sing to you if you sing with me… I love doing that!. Anywho so yes I’ve auditioned for American Idol, The Voice (*cough* several times *cough*) and X-Factor. 

After all of that I never thought I would be as nervous as I was then. Oooo but was I wrong! Last week I had to do a video interview for this job I applied for. I know right… super fancy! I thought everything was going to be fine I’ve had experience interviewing before, yes it was my first time doing a video interview but honestly how bad can it be. LET ME TELL YOU… it can go horribly horrendously wrong! Once that little light on my laptop went on letting me know the recording had commenced… my whole body froze! When I say my whole body I mean even my fucking brain!!! It’s like I forgot every word I’ve ever learned in my 27 years of life. I’m pretty sure I forgot my name… actually no that was the only thing I remembered because I introduced myself even though they never asked. Eventually I got over my stupor, but it didn’t get any better. I was so nervous that my hands were shaking and I’m pretty sure I was sweating profusely. All in all it wasn’t great…. possibly the worse experience of my life to date. 

Well I must sleep now because after reliving that interview my nerves are shot.

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,Emily (if you were wondering I didn’t get a second interview… Momma always told me… you win some, you lose some and sometimes you ruin your own life… just kidding, she didn’t say that I made that up.)

Grease Live Recap!

Omg!!! I have to say that I really enjoyed watching Grease Live last night… I know that there were changes from the original and believe me I know that freakin movie like the back of my hand, but I still loved watching it. The actors were amazing, they all had oh my Lort (Madea voice) awesomeballz voices. I’m just saying Julianne Hough was sooooo good as Sandy. When she sang “Hopelessly Devoted” I got chills and they were multiplying… Hehehe I cracks myself up. Speaking of who was super awesomeballz was freaking Vanessa Hudgens. She did phenomenal as Rizzo. Rizzo is my favorite and considering what she was going through emotionally she was fanfuckingtastic!!! I just don’t know how she was able to even get out of bed let alone have the performance she did. When she sang “There Are Worst Things” I was just sitting there watching her, and usually I’m singing along acting out the scene… Just so you have a clear idea of how transfixed I was. OMG and Boyz II Men people… Done!!!

Okay so you know (if you watched Grease Live last night) that it wasn’t an exactly like the Original Grease, which of course I knew it wouldn’t be, but there were a few things I wasn’t really into. One was the songs I didn’t know, and it had nothing to do with the people singing I thought Keke Palmer and Carly Rae Jepsen were great I just didn’t like their songs because I couldn’t sing along with them. The thing that did bother me was the dance moves!!! I get that it’s not going to be the same but at least the parts that everybody knows like in Grease Lightening and the Hand Jive those should have been incorporated into the new dance moves, I was waiting to dance with them. All in all I had fun watching and criticizing it, and I feel like everyone did a fantabulouso job!! I applaud you all because that had to be incredibly hard to do all of that live!! Well that’s all for me today…Till next time.

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily (just so you know I should’ve been apart of Grease Live I would’ve totally nailed it! Just saying.)

Emily’s Thanksgiving of Thankfulness List!

In the spirit of Thanksgiving all I’m going to do tonight is make a list of the things I am thankful for, we shall call this list Emily’s Thanksgiving of Thankfulness List ( I know I know your super jealous of how my incredibly creative mind works).

1. The most important thing I’m thankful for is obviously my Awesomeness. Although if it weren’t for my parents I guess I wouldn’t be this awesome. In that case I’m most definitely grateful for my mommy and daddy. Without their individual Awesomness none of my super duper Awesomeness would exist, and that would just be super sad.

2. I’m thankful for my brothers ( I consider my cousin my brother so this thanksgiving he has been upgraded… Your welcome Saca Moco) without those two mofos, my life would’ve been rather dull and boring. Making fun of them is what I live for and without them I would have to be nice and make actual friends I’m not related to.

3. I’m thankful for my friends/slutties/sisters/boysters(boy sisters) for just being funny, crazy, sarcastic psychopaths that accept and embrace their crazy, because if not you’ll get cut from the group and there’s no coming back from that. We’ve all seen that happen, so don’t mess shit up for your selves.

4. Lastly, Im thankful for my office (my bathroom) where I write most posts from. Without this bathroom there would be no Life As A Moon because this is where all my ideas finally become something I can write about.

In all seriousness without any of the people on my list I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I am truly thankful to have each and everyone of you in my life. Without any of you I wouldn’t have anyone to laugh, cry, make up choreography to 3LW, sing, act, direct, or even watch Dancing with the Stars with. I love you all from the bottom of my heart… Especially you bathroom.

Love Ya From the Moon and Back,
Emily ( Happy Thanksgiving to all and to all a goodnight… I know that’s for Christmas but I feel like it just goes)

Randomness of the Noggin!

So tonight’s post is a collection of random stuff that has occurred in the past two days. I shall write them in order of when each thought popped into my noggin. Since of course I love making lists and will find any reason to make one I shall give thee one now. I call this list Randomness of the Noggin (before I start the list I want to let everyone know that I have THE worst handwriting ever I don’t understand half the shit I wrote… Why did I write this down 1st, you ask?… IDK)

Here is my list:
1. Yesterday on the way home from work I got stuck behind the train. The first thing that popped into my head was a scene of me running on top of a moving train; like in all action movies ever, and of course that part when Joey Fatone and Chris Kirpatrick ran away from that crazy chick in the Bye Bye Bye video… Classic.

2. Have you ever wanted aliens to take over the world, or even for there to be a zombie apocalypse so you wouldn’t have to pay your bills anymore. Sigh, that would be the life. I think I would be a magnificent alien slave or badass zombie, just saying.

3. When I was younger I had cut my lip open and I had to get stitches…Because you know I was an angel as a child. Yesterday my mom asked me if you could still see the scar from where I got stitches and ever since I’ve been having phantom stitches pain, thanks mom!

4. Outback has the most Delish bread ever!!! I love it!

5. Newest musical obsession is Alessia Cara! I’ve heard her song “Here” on the radio a couple of times but I was never able to get her name or the name of the song… Until yesterday when I heard her on Elvis Duran and the Morning show. I already loved her song, but after hearing her sing “Here” live and acoustic on the radio I completely fell in love! As soon as I got to work I bought her EP, which is called Four Pink Walls-EP! Everyone must get it! She’s amazing!!!!

6. Finally, this new Instagram DM confused the shit out of me. Frover sent a DM to me and the rest of the Slutties and when I opened it I thought I was in a group chat… Confusions.

Alright, alright it’s about that time. I say good day!

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily (by the way my hand cramped up at least 6 times while I was writing this. Just so you know I was physically hurt why writing tonight’s post.)

Rest in Peace to the greatest catcher in pinstripes Yogi Berra. “If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.” -Yogi Berra

When I Grow Up I Want to be a Disney Princess!

Soooo you know I’m obsessed with anything having to do with the Disney Princesses. I’ve always wanted to be one since like forever, but you know that never happened! Any whoooo today while I was doing the dishes (I know scandalous… Me doing dishes!) for some reason I started thinking of all the Disney Princesses and how at some point in their movies some of them are doing dishes… Like Cinderella, Snow White, Tiana, I’m pretty sure Belle was doing dishes in that little cottage she lived in with her father, and Aurora (I think). Then it hit me Ariel was playing with forks and spoons and shit but she never had to do the dishes or the mermaid equivalent. You know why!!!! Because home girl lived in the SEA until she was 16… Down there the mermaid dishes and utensils practically cleaned themselves while they were being used!! That Ariel what a lucky whore! Not only does she get the hottest Prince, oooo Prince Eric…Erik…Erick? (Which way did this dude spell it!!) I have an unhealthy obsession with thee. Sorry I got off track, as I was saying not only does she get that fine piece of ass Prince Eric… Home girl never had to do the dishes a day in her life! She never had to wonder what the fuck is this nasty shit I’m cleaning, or eeeeeewwwww, or FUCK that’s hot, or damn it I have more water on my shirt than in the sink…thanks a lot SPOON… Okay I’m done. Not only was she a Princess under the sea (you like how I threw that in there. Wink wink), she married into royalty and had servants for the rest of her human/mermaid life!! So what I’m basically saying is when I grow up I want to be Princess Ariel! That’s all for now!

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Princess Amelia (AaaaaaahAaaaaaaahh AaaaaaahAaaaaaahhAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh… Just think of the part Ursula tells Ariel to sing so she can steal her voice and then you shall under stand the aaaaahhhs)

Dear Vroom Vroom, I hate you but I love you so much!

I’ve come to the conclusion that I have a love/hate relationship with Manny Mandingo (that be my car). Some days I wonder in horror what kind of life would I live if I didn’t have Manny. While other times I wish he never existed. Why do I have so strong feelings about Manny I shall tell you in the form of a list (oh how I love to make lists).

The following are the reasons why I Love Manny:
1. Homeboy gets me places. Anywhere I want to go he got my back.
2. I love to randomly drive around with the windows down and the music blasting! I only like doing this when its night time and there aren’t a lot of cars in the streets. The less cars the less people judge me when I’m performing for my adoring fans!
3. I love to speed. I just get this rush when I’m going fast… I have moments where I think I’m in Need For Speed or GTA (Grand Theft Auto) and the cops are following me and I have to get away from them so the blinking stars on the top of my screen go away. Ooo good times.
4. Music just sounds better when your aimlessly driving. The only works when there is no one else in the car with you and your just strolling around town and your connecting with the music because at that moment iHeart just knows how your feeling and they put that song that makes you feel things and your just like “Damn iHeart you know me so well it’s like your in my soul.”
5. When I need a place to be by myself and just work my shit out I know I can trust Manny to listen to me either cry, talk shit about my friends or whine about my parents. Manny just understands me like nobody else. The best part is when I’m talking to him nobody really judges me because they probably think I’m just animatedly talking on the phone… Well I hope that’s what they’re thinking.

The following are the reasons I Hate Manny:
1. This mofo makes me pay for his loyalty and friendship monthly!
2. On top of having to pay for him to stay around this mofo expects me to feed him as well. It might only be like once a week, but damn I’m like paying at least thirty bucks to make sure he’s full and sometimes that’s not even enough!
3. Driving when a lot of other people are on the road and being stuck in traffic… Sucks AssCakes!!
4. This thing is like a child not only do I need to feed it, but I also have to give this mofo a bath! Like my laundry I pay for someone else to do it for me.
5. I have very bad road rage because of him and other people! I’ve realized once I started driving I hated people with faces! I have very bad anger/hatred issues because of Manny!

Even after all the crap Manny puts me through I love him more than I hate him, because without my car I wouldn’t be able to get to work, go to the movie theatre, or even go on fun road trips. I love you Manny Mandigo I swear one of these days I’ll get you some gas and take you to get washed… Hopefully sometime this week, you know how lazy I get!

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( I’ve become extra lazy, but that’s not only Mannys fault… That just started happening after I got my license and has just become worse because of Manny and Hammy Mocha Baby (my first car).

Vino Viernes!!!

AAAAAAHHHHH…. I’m sooooo freaking glad it’s Friday!!! I started out today in a perfectly good mood, and then it gradually went down the poop shoot. I thought everything was gonna be all good… There was no traffic I got to work super early, and because of that I got to take a quick cat nap. So I was super duper happy! Then I walked into the office and found out the AC was broken or some crap like that!! WTF!!! It was cooler outside than it was inside that office!! Of course this would happen on the day I decided to wear a half sleeve shirt… Sure it might have been super thin material and slightly seen through (don’t worry I’m super professional and wore a tank top under… I’m only slightly sluttie after work hours). Any way I was still sweating profusely! I am not a happy person when I’m HOT!!!! I get extremely cranky. My day was just blah after that. The only thing I had to look forward to was this big ass fan we have in the hall way, and every time I walked by it I felt like Sasha Fierce ( Beyoncés alter ego). All the single ladies all the single ladies all the single ladies now put your hands up!!

On to why we’re really here… VINO VIERNES!!! Today I’m having Barefoots deliciously sweet Moscato. As you all know by now I’m obsessed with Barefoot and would never say anything bad about any of its wines. Also this wine is amazing anyway so I have nothing bad to say even if I wanted to. For those of you that didn’t Moscato pairs perfectly with mild cheese… The bottle said so, and because the bottle said it I had to have some cheese with my wine today. It might not have been mild because it was mozzarella string cheese…cheese is cheese and I love it as much as I love wine!

I’m still super Grumpy Magee and hot so I’m out this piece… And I’m going to go see Grease and this movie night in the park my town is having!!! GREASE LIGHTENING GO GO GO GO GO GOGO GO GOGO GREASE LIGHTENING YOUR BURNING UP HE QUARTER MILE!! That’s just a sample of what I’ll be doing to night!!! Singing at the top of my lungs!!!

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( it’s electrifying!!! If you’ve seen Grease than you’ll know!!)

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