Tag: shopping

It’s official… I’m In Love!

“I’m still breathing, I’m still breathing, I’m still breathing, I’m still breathing… I’m ALIIIIIIIIVE, I’m aliiiiiive I’m aLIIIIIIIIIVE, I’m aliiiiiive!” Gosh darn it Sia I love you!!! If you haven’t listened to Sia’s This is Acting album then your crazy! I’m alive and bird set free speak to me… It’s freaking magical!

Any who’s Ello Loves. It was a pretty fantastical weekend for me. Fine all right already I’ll tell you. I met someone. And it’s not just anyone, but I thinks it’s THE ONE! I know I didn’t expect it either but when you know you know, and ooo do I know. We fell inlove so fast I can’t even believe it myself, and believe me I’m slightly cynical so it’s crazy.

So we met Saturday like mid morning at a Honda dealership. Such an unlikely place to find love but in our case it just makes sense. Anyway at first I wasn’t sure how to approach it, but eventually I grew some cojones (balls) and was like “hey, how are you? I think we can be really great together” ( I know so forward of me, but sometimes you just have to go for it… You know). Then we just went driving for hours… We went to the mall, target and then five below (love this store it’s kind of addicting so be careful). We just made a day for us… And it was truly magical. I want everyone to meet the love of my life ( for about the next 2 and a half to 3 years or so) Betty!

image
Gosh that was such a romantical love story. I should really just write for a living. Ooo thanks for bring that up…By the by I’m thinking of starting another blog, but that one would just be for some stories that I’ve written. I haven’t decided when I will start it, but it’s in the thinking and planning stages right now. So you know it’ll happen eventually.

Well that’s all I got I’m just going to stare at Betty’s picture lovingly now.

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( naming Betty was hard for me… My mum and I went back and forth between Barry, Barry Blanc (must say with French accent) and Betty, but Betty just felt more lady than lad… Nah mean!)

Ps. Happy National Sibling Day!

What Color of the Week is it?

So I’ve been on a mental health retreat. I didn’t go anywhere, just stayed home watched TV… Mostly hallmark, HGTV, Food network and Disney… Singing at the top of my lungs around the house and doing a 1000 piece puzzle. I completely gave up on the puzzle by the way.

On this mental health mini vacation I’ve realized that when I’m not working I lose track of what day it is. Usually at work Monday’s is Blue scrub Monday’s because obviously your feeling real sad and “blue” that your weekend is over and all that jazz.

Tuesday is just well the day in the middle of blue Monday and Pink Wednesday. Wednesday isn’t only pink because of Mean Girls, but I’ve noticed that I wear pink on Wednesdays a lot and I’m not consciously doing it. Wait maybe it is because of Mean Girls, it was just ingrained in my brain.

Thursday is the other day that starts with a T. Finally Friday is Jean day. That’s how I know what day of the week I’m in. Because I haven’t worked since last Wednesday I’ve been lost in life.

The only reason I know what day it is today is because I have to go back to work tomorrow and I can’t wear jeans because it not Friday and I’m currently wearing a somewhat pink shirt. It’s crazy how my brain coordinates what day is what by colors and apparently having a day start with the letter T.

Because I clearly did absolutely nothing for the past couple of days… This is the extent of my exciting life. Well it’s been super swell.

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,

Emily ( I really don’t wanna go back to work tomorrow. Saddest panda.)

Ps. I just got an email showing me apartments for rent in San Diego. I had no clue I was thinking of moving to San Diego. Weird.

Vino Viernes!

Tonight I’m drinking wine out of a box!!! This is some classy ass shit!!! It has one of those little push buttons that those big jugs of water have but with wine!!!! It is also the first time I have ever drank wine out of a box and I’m so excited! So the wine that I am drinking is from Black Box Wines and it is Cabernet Sauvignon. Thank the Lordt I bought that Sprite cuz holy shit this is dry as hell! Even though this wine might have won 40 gold medals I’d rather have my Sweet Red from Barefoot!

I’m Not a religious person at all, but yesterday I was watching people’s reaction on TV to Pope Francis’ arrival and it was very emotional. Just seeing their faith was really beautiful. What had me crying was when Pope Francis was in the cathedral and stopped to give a little girl a hug and then when he stopped and gave another little girl I’m a wheel chair a hug… What!!!! I couldn’t stop those tears.

On a lighter note, Me and my mom just spent about and hour or so in target. Which is pretty good for us because I think I can spend days in there and never be bored, but when ever I do come out I’ll have to owe Target my first born. I went to target to buy some things that I would need for my trip to California!!!! Yaaaaasssss!!! Which is 2 weeks away… I’m so freaking souped… Sooped… How do you spell that again, I haven’t used this word in forever. Any way what I’m trying to say is that I’m extremely excited! As I was saying I went to Target with a goal in mind… Buy a carry-on bag and a bottle of Sprite just in case I wasn’t a fan of the boxed wine. There are still a whole bunch of other shit I need to buy, but I forgot to write a list at least I remembered the luggage.

So we find the carry-on bag and are roaming through the isles until we stubbled upon the Halloween decorations. We found this skull that records whatever you say, so we basically spent the majority of our time recording lines from the movie “This is the End”. It was freaking highlarious I even recorded it and sent it to my brother. My mother and I are not allowed to go to Target anymore, we got lucky this time that we didn’t buy to much shit because we forgot a cart and were to lazy to turn around and go get one.

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( Target- proper pronunciation “Tarshay”. Don’t forget it!)

Ps. Big Booty Judy you will get your day I promise!

Vino Viernes!!!

Welcome and Good Evening, I have something really special prepared for you tonight! It’s going to tickle your pickle, it’s going be like the Goose that gets you feeling loose, it’s going dittle your skittle, it’s going to blah blah your blah blah… Sorry I ran out of random sayings. Anyway there’s really nothing special tonight I just wanted to get everyone hyped up. I’m sorry I did that I can be such an asshole. It might actually (must say with British accent) be Delilah (my alter ego) since its been a very long time since she came out to play. When she doesn’t get out much she starts to randomly seep into my everyday life, and that’s not good because this bitch is reckless. I find it so funny that my alter ego decided to name herself Delilah… Like why couldn’t she think of something more fun. Look at Beyoncé bro her alter egos name is Sasha Fierce… It’s amazing!! This is why Beyoncé is the Queen! My life goal is to one day be so incredibly famous that phones auto correct my name like they do with Beyoncé. I’ve spelled her name so many times that it’s started to look like it’s spelled incorrectly.imageSoooo tonight’s wine is Cabernet Sauvignon from Sweet Bitch! I’ve never had Cabernet Sauvignon before, but I just assumed that it was a dry wine! I feel like all wines that have a fancy name are dry… Clearly I know a lot about wines. Any way this wine was incredibly sweet. It was so sweet that it felt dry if that makes any type of sense. I love the sweeter wines but this shit was like have a shit of the sweetest syrup ( I can’t think of any syrup right now… I think I’m having a surfer overload). I had everybody in my house try this wine and everyone made the same face. Their faces was as if they had just bit into a slice of lemon! My parents were even saying that this wine could give you a good case of the diarrhea. If your into really sweet wines than this brand is for you because all the bottles I saw said a Smooth and Sweet.

Today my mother and I realized we can no longer go shopping together because we enable each other to buy random things we don’t need! Our original plan tonight was to go get dinner and then go buy another beach chair for this weekend. So after we went to dinner we stopped at Sam’s Club we ended up walking back out because they didn’t have anything. Next we went to Walmart ,which is right next to Sam’s, we walked around aimlessly until we came upon the beach chairs… I had to do some climbing but we found what we needed and we got the hell out of there because shit got crazy. You know if your in Walmart to long shit gets crazy!!!

While we were in Walmart I was telling my mom that I need to buy a suitcase for my trip to California next month, so she suggested we go to BJ’s. We went to BJ’s looked at the sit cases for like two seconds (because they were crazy expensive) and almost walked out with a supersize bag of peanut M&Ms, an oversized beach towel, some random tub mat and a new shower head for my bathroom ( that was like 50 bucks… I was willing to pay $50 for a shower head I don’t need instead of buying a suitcase I do need, I sometimes don’t understand my own logic) any way thank god those longs were long and we put everything back where we didn’t find them (sorry BJ’s workers, I know we’re such assholes).

Any-who after we leave BJ’s Mama Moon and I go to Burlington Coat Factory ( I don’t think that’s the name anymore, it might just be Burlington), so while we walk around there looking suitcases ( which were just as expensive as BJ’s) we find a section of paintings and photographs… So basically we walked out of Burlington without the suitcase, but I did get three new paintings for my room. I like to call it the Wino Wall!!imageLove Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( the lady at the liquor store lied to me, she said the wine would be dry! How can I ever trust her again!)

Ugh… Monday’s… Blah!!

First I want to start by saying… T-minus 4 days till CANADA!!! Yasssss!!! We coming for you Canada… I’m so freaking excited. Even though I will only be on my mini vacation for three days I still had to go buy an outfit or four… Don’t judge there was a sale, sales are my freaking kryptonite.

What I was trying to say is no matter how long ( or short in my case) your trip is, I feel like it’s cardinal rule that one must buy brand new outfits. You don’t want new people to see you in your old cloths… Even though They wouldn’t know the difference, you know the difference and that’s all that matters! So moral of the story is buy new cloths when going on a trip, it’s apart of the vacation experience!!! I can’t wait for California in October, that trip is a week long soooooo you know I’m gonna buy a crazy amount of cloths!

I’m sorry but I gots nothing else to say and I’m gonna go have me some pizza rolls… It’s been swell, deuces!

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily (ugh Monday’s are the worst!)

Am I A Gold-Digger?

Nothing too B.A.N.A.N.A.S. sandwich happened this weekend. I went to IKEA and realized that I only like shopping in IKEA…I tried writing IKEA with you know, the (I) being capitalized and the rest of the letters lower case, but It’s not as aesthetically pleasing to the eye… Ikea…see what I mean, I don’t like it. As I was saying I only like shopping at IKEA online. I cannot deal with the walking around in circles and having to walk throughout the whole store to get to what I’m looking for. If you haven’t been to IKEA, let me break it down for you. The store is laid out like a gallery; everything is set up by the section of the house they should be in, like everything that goes in a bedroom is in the bedroom section, the bathrooms, the kitchens, the kids rooms…and blah blah blah. So on Saturday Boobielicious and I went to look around and I was kind of sort of looking for a bookshelf but not really, any way it took us like twenty minutes to get to that section, and by the time I got there I wanted nothing to do with bookshelves. Of course I still looked at them though, since it practically took us three hours to find them! After we passed the bookshelves it took us another hour to get out of the store because we had to follow the freaking arrows to get out. Moral of the story I shant return to IKEA!

If you remember on Vino Viernes I gave everyone the 411 on how to gauge a woman’s mood by the amount of Oreos she’s consumed. Well I think I might have another doozer for you.

Again based on obvious scientific facts, I’m going to let you know, how you know the man/woman your about to go on a first date with is a keeper. Now you must remember, this only works as a first date thing. If you’re on like date five, I’m sorry to tell you but your shit outta luck, I got nothing for you… maybe next time. So it’s pretty simple… if your date takes you to lets say Applebees for your FIRST DATE you might have to tell homeboy/homegirl to get to steppin. He/she’s only taking you there so he/she can do some two for $20 action, HOW RUDE (thank you Stephanie Tanner for your wise words)!! This is the one time you’re supposed to impress this person…it’s like they always say (I’m not sure who they are but they say this) first impressions can make or break you, I feel like somewhere in the world this has been said. And no I’m not a gold-digger…anymore…hehehehe I joke I joke (now I ain’t saying she a gold-digger, but she aint messin with no broke n****… thank you Kanye I couldn’t have said it better my self) any other time Applebees is the spot…especially after 10pm for those half price apps (appetizers). I just feel it’s not a first date kind of place. Now if your date takes you to Red Lobster, Joe’s Crab Shack, or Olive Garden that mofo is in it for the long haul…if he/she likes it or not, they’re stuck with you for life…bwuhahahaha!!! You know your date is going to be dropping a decent amount on this date…okay so I might, slightly be a gold digger…live with it, I am. You might ask “Emily the Great how do you come up with this geniusness?” Well my child this is how it went down. I was walking by a Red Lobster and turned to Boobielicous and was like “Yo if a dude brought me to Red Lobster, or Joe’s Crab Shack on a first date, that mofo is a keeper…you know he’s gonna be dropping dough cuz these mother-Fers (obviously I cursed forreals then) are expensive”. Voila, the science behind my theory! So sad, It’s that time again…don’t miss me too much!

 

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,

Emily (re-formed Gold Digger…kinda)