I’m Alive!!!

I survived!!!! I will survive for as long as I know how to love I know I’ll stay alive… sorry I couldn’t help myself I love to burst into song and dance, I swear I should have been a part of Glee or something. The only reason I ever wanted to be a Disney Princess was just so I can randomly sing and no one would even look twice. If I did that now in my non-musical life people would look at me like I’m crazy or on drugs; I already get strange looks when I’m singing in the comfort of my own car…is there no respect any more!!! Oh so you know how some people…okay maybe I shouldn’t say people, let me rephrase that, so I sometimes…okay you caught me again… I ALWAYS wish my life were like the movies I watch. When ever I come out of a movie theatre (this is the correct way to spell it people!!!) I always tell my friends “yoo I could totally be an assassin, a race car driver, a secret spy, a princess… you know basically what ever I just watched gosh DON’T JUDGE ME!!

Any way, what I was saying before I rudely interrupted my self is that, either my Mum didn’t read what I wrote on Friday (you know my underage drinking) or she has chosen to Let it Go (Let it Go, can’t hold it back any more) as Queen Elsa would sing (by the way my mum hates this song…bwuhahahaha…yes t’was my evil laugh). Because I’M ALIVE!!!!! I’M ALIVE!!!

Sooooo this weekend was THE most eventful weekend I’ve had in a long ass time. I know, I know most of you must think that I lead a very exciting, adventurous and extravagant life. WRONG!! It’s just the opposite actually, the most risk-taking thing I do is let Max from Netflix (get the MAX from Netfliiiiix ooooo…that’s one of the jingles they have…it makes me laugh) pick out what I’m going to watch next. OMG Scandalous, I know. But this weekend was different, my super sluttie friends and I went to see a show in NYC on Saturday!!! IT. WAS. AMAZEBALLZ. The show was about the not so happily ever after of the Disney Princesses. I was ROTFL the whole time (that was rolling on the floor laughing, for those who aren’t text lingo savvy…your welcome). My friends and I all found our Princess soul mate on that stage. I was Mulan, Frover was Snow White, Big Booty Judy was Sleeping Beauty, Boobielicious was Rapunzel, Ditzy Doodle (by the way she did NOT like this name..bwuhahahaha) was Cinderella, Slutty McSlutterson was Belle, and Mamasita was The Little Mermaid. If you ever get a chance you should definitely go see this, its called Disenchanted, and I promise you you’ll have an amazing time.

So I came face to face with my arch nemesis this weekend…duh duh duuuuuh (thanks Tim that was B.E.A UTIFUL…give a round of applause for Tim my pianist…HAAAAA Pianist… sorry but that shit cracks me up) As I was saying….my arch nemesis…duh duh duuuuuuh….NUTELLA!!! I went to breakfast sunday morning with two of my slutties (Slutty McSlutterson and Boobielicious) and McSlutterson decides she wants to get the Banana (this shit is bananas B.A.N.A.N.A.S) and Nutella crepe. I felt betrayed, how dare Mcslutterson order that bitch in front of me after everything that whorish Nutella did to me; that was until I tasted it…all I gots to say is…..DAAAAAYUMMM that was Deeeeelish. Of course I never let my slutties see how Nutella affected me (well until now), but hey Nutella… Call me!

Love Ya From the Moon and back,

Emily (Secret, not so secret anymore, Nutella lover)


P.S. I finally did my eyebrows this weekend YAAAASSSS… CUZ damn they almost became one brow.

Damn you Nutella!!!

All day…all night… all day…all night, for those that don’t know that is part of a song… I would totes tell you which one but I have no clue who sings this or what the name of the song is. I guess this is where I should let you know that I randomly break out into song lyrics…so get used to it. As I was attempting to say before the music spoke to me, All day I’ve been thinking “holy craptastic pants what the shitake mushrooms am I going to write about…after all, I did talk all that caca (apparently I have an obsession with all things having to do with number 2…aaand I love Derek Jeter who has everything to do with the number) about the many things I wanted to talk about. And. I. Can’t. Think. Of. One thing!!!” So I just went on with my day and figured something would come to me and VOILA I would have the best topic to talk about…. As a wise woman once said…UGH AS IF (oh Cher you are my Idol)…I had NOTHING! Don’t you worry though for I did not give up hope. While I was in the middle of my third encore (thank you, thank you, your far to kind)…I looked out my passenger side window and saw some dude digging for gold. Obviously the first thing that came to my mind was…how many people did I just give the most amazing, incredible, life changing concert (full of Disney classics) to and how can I get my money!! And then it hit me… I know what todays (today meaning yesterday since I’m the biggest procrastinator ever) blog should be about…. drum roll please…. Tatatatatatatata (don’t you DARE judge my drummer…he’s sensitive…its okay Tony your still my homeslice).

I’m going to write about my obsession with all things having to do with Facebook quizzes. I LOVE THESE FREAKING QUIZZES!! I feel like some of these quizzes just speak to my soul. I’m telling you I take at least 5 of these quizzes a day…honestly it might be the only reason I go on Facebook several times a day, I could care less what every ones been doing, but if you share a quiz your in my top 5(yeah… I just referenced some Myspace…deal with it). Any who as I was saying before my alter ego (Delilah… idk why that’s her name…I just feel like Delilah has an interesting story…and if you haven’t noticed yet I love to name things…you should hear what I named my lady parts…but that’s another story) rudely interrupted…Dang it I don’t even remember what I was trying to say anymore. OOOOHHHH RIGHT today while I was at work slaving away (hehehe oooo how I crack myself up) I took a Buzzfeed quiz called….duh duh duh…What is your Soulmate doing right now?… of course right away I thought …looking for me …derf!! If you must know my so-called “soul mate” was not looking for me…In fact this mofo was apparently eating an entire jar of Nutella! How Rude!!! So to you Nutella I say damn you for possibly keeping my soulmate away from me with your hazelnutty goodness!!! That’s all I have for today …for Nutella has won.



Love Ya from the Moon and back,

Emily (Heart broken and alone….why Nutella why)