“The Saddest Day Of My Life”

“The saddest day of my life, is when you left me with a broken heart I was feeling the pain, the pain, the PAIN” ; you might be asking yourself ” Emily why are you singing this song “Saddest Day” by Wayne Wonder and from what Google is telling me Foxy Brown? Well guys I’m super sad that’s why I’m singing it. One of my sluttos ( male version of slutties, which is what I call my group of friends) has moved away to another state people call Texas! Fucking Texas man!! That’s far as fuck! I’ve been friends with this mofo since grammar school people!!! This mofo has been in my life since before I knew what boxed hair dye was (this is the first thing I could think of because I’m about to dye my hair).

To say goodbye to our friend we had a going away party on Friday, and it was Texas/Country themed! Basically we dressed up like how we think people from Texas dress. You know jeans, some plaid, some boots, and some plastic Cowboy hats. We ( when I say we I mean Frover and I) tried to speak with a southern accent, it went well for about 5 mins… But then my mind automatically started talking with a British accent. So basically I stopped. It was a successful party we drank, made fun of each other, played beer pong, had some delicious motherFing Jell-O shots, talked shit about other people that were in other rooms of the house ( mainly a certain somebody that was brought to said party and introduced as a girlfriend of my Texas Bound besties brother that didn’t want to participate in our picture taking… Well not me because I rarely take pictures but my slutties were taking pictures and home girl turned her face… HOW RUDE!!), had a cowboy boot shaped piñata with sex related things stuffed inside…

imageBasically some good ole fun with some crazy people and that one girlfriend of my Texas Bound besties brother that didn’t want to take pictures. We had a blasty blast. It was the perfect way for us to say goodbye to our friend! Well that’s all I got for today!

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( to my Texas Bound Bestfriend since grammar school (even though I don’t think you read this)… I’m going to miss you like crazy… I hope for the very best for you and I freaking LOVE YOU MOFO!! Just remember that I’m you’re number 1 bestie not Frenemy… Ok?… ME I’M YOUR BESTIE!)

Tori Kelly is a Boss!!

I feel like going to a concert is like studying for a big test. You spend all week listening to every song they ever made so you can sing along the whole time. It was exhausting but fantabulouso! “Ain’t nobody love, ain’t nobody love like you do… It’s should’ve been us, shoulda been a fire, shoulda been the perfect storm, it should’ve been us, coulda been the real thing… Only your love could fill up my cup cuz I’m hollooooooooow yea I’m holloooouhuhoooow…was it real or was it all in my head, she’s so pretty you to look so great it’s time for me to move on now it was probably just some silly crush anyway.” So I was totally at Tori Kelly’s Unbreakable Concert on Friday and it was freaking amazing!!! She is incredible, her voice gave me goose bumps the whole time!! If you haven’t jumped on the Tori Kelly Train hurry up and do it l, you don’t know what your missing!

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Sooooo my trip to DR was AMAZEBALLZ!! Me and Sluttie McSlutterson hung out at the pool all weekend and drank alot of Banana Mamas (which are freaking DEEELISH!!!). One of the days we went to this little baby nugget island called Cayo Arena, which is absolutely beautiful. I got to snorkel and see so many beautiful colors of the coral reef and the most amazing fishes. I was hoping I would get to see a few turtles, but I didn’t which ultimately might’ve been a good thing because I don’t think a Sea Turtle would’ve passed customs or fit in my carry on. Basically I had the best Birthday ever, helped me forget that I’m four years closer to 30… Ooo god it hurts my soul just thinking about it. Well that’s all I have for you today.

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily (if you ever get a chance to go to DR you must go to Cayo Arena it’s freaking magical!!)

I’m Baaaaack!

Guess who’s back, back again, Emily’s back tell your friends, guess who’s back, guess who’s back, guess who’s back, guess who’s back, guys who’s back, guess who’s back, duh na na… Sorry I got a little excited! If you haven’t figured it out by that beautiful rendition of Slim Shadys song, I have returned from my small hiatus! If your wondering why I was gone you shall continue to wonder cause I’m not telling. I joke I joke…I had a very exciting, slightly exciting, okay a somewhat exciting two weeks. Basically I just got really lazy and kept saying I’ll just write on Monday and then Monday turned into two Sunday’s later, what evs don’t judge. This is a judge free zone.

So basically what I’ve been doing these past two weeks was learn how to knit, make funny videos on my snap chat, and just basically be lazy. Yes I know I lead a super exciting life, thank you. Knitting turned out to be a lot of fun. I actually just got out of my second knitting class. We’re learning how to knit a hat… Yay. Soon I’m gonna be so amazeballz at knitting and crocheting I will never have to buy another scarf, pair of gloves, hat and even maybe a blanket ever again. Well that’s where I hope I get to at some point in my life.image

I also signed up for a new dating site named Bumble. This sight is suppose to minimize on the creepers that start a conversation with… Hey wanna see my dick, or send me picture of yourself (first off my pictures on my profile douchebag, and hell no I’m not gonna send you a picture of my boobs). Anyway this app cuts that shit out. How?, you ask. Well the twist is the girl has to be the one to initiate the conversation, but we only have 24hrs to do so or the guys profile gets erased for you to ever match with them again. So there’s a little excitement. Girls can only start the convo if she matches with the guy she swipes right with. Meaning homeboy swiped right too. Get’em GIRL!!!

I decided to try this app out because I’m super lonely, and I need me some loving. Also because I was tired of the guy I was sort of talking to constantly sending me dick pics. Like dude you’ve sent me a picture of your dick in every possible angle and even one with a Christmas hat on. No I don’t want anymore I think I’m good thanks. When did it even become appropriate to send dick pics as a conversation started. Well anyway let’s see how this dating app works out, if not I can always just become a spinster and knit things for my friends kids.

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( just if you were wondering dick pics are not appropriate, unless if asked for one. Then homeboy dick pic it away!)

Grease Live Recap!

Omg!!! I have to say that I really enjoyed watching Grease Live last night… I know that there were changes from the original and believe me I know that freakin movie like the back of my hand, but I still loved watching it. The actors were amazing, they all had oh my Lort (Madea voice) awesomeballz voices. I’m just saying Julianne Hough was sooooo good as Sandy. When she sang “Hopelessly Devoted” I got chills and they were multiplying… Hehehe I cracks myself up. Speaking of who was super awesomeballz was freaking Vanessa Hudgens. She did phenomenal as Rizzo. Rizzo is my favorite and considering what she was going through emotionally she was fanfuckingtastic!!! I just don’t know how she was able to even get out of bed let alone have the performance she did. When she sang “There Are Worst Things” I was just sitting there watching her, and usually I’m singing along acting out the scene… Just so you have a clear idea of how transfixed I was. OMG and Boyz II Men people… Done!!!

Okay so you know (if you watched Grease Live last night) that it wasn’t an exactly like the Original Grease, which of course I knew it wouldn’t be, but there were a few things I wasn’t really into. One was the songs I didn’t know, and it had nothing to do with the people singing I thought Keke Palmer and Carly Rae Jepsen were great I just didn’t like their songs because I couldn’t sing along with them. The thing that did bother me was the dance moves!!! I get that it’s not going to be the same but at least the parts that everybody knows like in Grease Lightening and the Hand Jive those should have been incorporated into the new dance moves, I was waiting to dance with them. All in all I had fun watching and criticizing it, and I feel like everyone did a fantabulouso job!! I applaud you all because that had to be incredibly hard to do all of that live!! Well that’s all for me today…Till next time.

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily (just so you know I should’ve been apart of Grease Live I would’ve totally nailed it! Just saying.)

Best Bestie Ever!

Have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry? Have you ever needed something so bad you can’t sleep at night? Have you ever tried to find the words, but they don’t come out right? Yeah me either. For those who might be a little Confucius (this is how I like to say confused don’t judge me) the intro to today’s post are lyrics from the song Have you ever? By Brandy. For some reason this song is always in my head. I can’t get rid of it. I’ve known that it’s a permanent song in my head for a while, but this morning while I was showering I forgot to bring my new water proofish speaker. So long story short I decided I’ll just sing songs from my mems (memory), and the one and only song I could freaking remember was Have you ever. Every time I would start a different song It would turn into Have you ever. It was feeling frustrating.

Anywho you should know that I’m the best friend you could ever have. Why you ask. Because I’m currently at JFK Airport picking up Sluttie McSlutterson! Because this slore decided she was gonna go to freaking Dubai without me. I know right… How Rude (Stephanie Tanner voice). This is why I feel like I am the bestest friend anyone can ever have. How many people would cut their super busy and exciting Sunday of doing absolutely nothing short to go pick up a friend. ME. That’s who. Well I must go Sluttie McSlutterson has finally arrived.

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily I totes got a hair cut!! And I finally did my eyebrows)

The Last Post!

This is the last post… Of 2015!!!! Ahhhhhh I can’t believe how fast this year went by. It’s crazy how when I was younger I felt like the year would just drag, and summer vacation would never come. Now it’s like you blink and boom your sitting in your room watching the Departed and wondering what the hell have you been doing with your life.

This year was the year where everyone I know was either having a kid, getting married, or on the verge of getting married. This weekend alone 3 people, one of them being my cousin, got engaged! The whole time while I’m looking at the pictures of the rings I’m thinking like are we really at that point in our lives where the people I went to high school with are getting engaged and married and having kids. Like people were still too young we have our whole lives ahead of us, and then I realize dude your like 25! Get your shit together!

Anyway on a different note, on Wednesday at work I was listening to Edith Piaf ( who is one of the best French Cabaret singers… One if her more popular songs is La Vie En Rose… Check it out. It’s beautiful) and while distracted by work related things I was like omg I understand French. I understood everything she was singing, and then I realized she was singing in English, and I silently judged myself. Well I’m off to finish watching the Departed! See ya.

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( Merry Late Christmas!!)

Ps. I got the cutest Puppy… Slippers ever, some socks, and blanket for Christmas and it was all glorious!!!

“Love Yourself” My New Favorite Saying.

I know I’ve been MIA(no I don’t mean Miami, I mean Missing In Action) but December just isn’t a good month for me. Before I get started with today’s shenanigans I want to let you know that I’ve decided I will only be posting once a week and it will be going up on Sunday Funday. So after this Wednesdays post we will start again on Sunday. I know your super sad about Vino Viernes, but never fear I will still be drinking new wines and letting you know how I feel about them. I figured since Vino Viernes rarely has anything to do with wine, and I honestly don’t even tell you good things about them I might as well just add a snippet on Sundays about my feelings towards whatever wine I’m drinking.

You might or might not be wondering why I’ve decided to post only once, even if you don’t care I’m still gonna tell you. I think I under estimated this whole posting three times a week thing, I’m pulling at straws here thinking of what to write about, so before I completely burn myself out I’m cutting it down. That way I can tell you a weeks worth of shit in one day…FABULOUS!!

On to today’s one topic. If you’ve been living in the outside world you must’ve heard by now that Justin Bieber has come out with some bangers!!! Well if you’ve been living under a rock and this is the first thing you’ve seen in years since Justin Bieber first came on to the scene… I KNOW I wouldn’t believe it myself but home boy has some pretty amazeballz music out right now. Aaaaaaaand me thinks I found my new favorite JB song. It’s calls Love Yourself, and the reason I love this song so much is because Justin in the most beautiful, sweet way is basically telling this person he wrote this song about is to go Fuck Yourself. I know when I first saw the title I thought it was gonna be some go empower yourself song. BUT nope if you listen to the words you know exactly what he means when he says go and “Love” yourself. Here’s a verse so you understand what I mean:
“All the times that you rain on my parade
And all the clubs you get in using my name
You think you broke my heart
Ohhh girl for goodness sake
You think I’m crying
Oh my ohhh, well I ain’t!… (<- the proper use of an ellipsis, because you know I never use that shit right… I just really like these dots) Cause if you like the way you look that much
Ohhhh baby you should go and love yourself
And if you think that I’m still holdin’ on to somethin’
You should go and love yourself
DAMN Biebs!!! Get it!! And I leave you to ponder that.

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( last Monday post… Saddest)

What Color of the Week is it?

So I’ve been on a mental health retreat. I didn’t go anywhere, just stayed home watched TV… Mostly hallmark, HGTV, Food network and Disney… Singing at the top of my lungs around the house and doing a 1000 piece puzzle. I completely gave up on the puzzle by the way.

On this mental health mini vacation I’ve realized that when I’m not working I lose track of what day it is. Usually at work Monday’s is Blue scrub Monday’s because obviously your feeling real sad and “blue” that your weekend is over and all that jazz.

Tuesday is just well the day in the middle of blue Monday and Pink Wednesday. Wednesday isn’t only pink because of Mean Girls, but I’ve noticed that I wear pink on Wednesdays a lot and I’m not consciously doing it. Wait maybe it is because of Mean Girls, it was just ingrained in my brain.

Thursday is the other day that starts with a T. Finally Friday is Jean day. That’s how I know what day of the week I’m in. Because I haven’t worked since last Wednesday I’ve been lost in life.

The only reason I know what day it is today is because I have to go back to work tomorrow and I can’t wear jeans because it not Friday and I’m currently wearing a somewhat pink shirt. It’s crazy how my brain coordinates what day is what by colors and apparently having a day start with the letter T.

Because I clearly did absolutely nothing for the past couple of days… This is the extent of my exciting life. Well it’s been super swell.

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,

Emily ( I really don’t wanna go back to work tomorrow. Saddest panda.)

Ps. I just got an email showing me apartments for rent in San Diego. I had no clue I was thinking of moving to San Diego. Weird.

Emily’s Thanksgiving of Thankfulness List!

In the spirit of Thanksgiving all I’m going to do tonight is make a list of the things I am thankful for, we shall call this list Emily’s Thanksgiving of Thankfulness List ( I know I know your super jealous of how my incredibly creative mind works).

1. The most important thing I’m thankful for is obviously my Awesomeness. Although if it weren’t for my parents I guess I wouldn’t be this awesome. In that case I’m most definitely grateful for my mommy and daddy. Without their individual Awesomness none of my super duper Awesomeness would exist, and that would just be super sad.

2. I’m thankful for my brothers ( I consider my cousin my brother so this thanksgiving he has been upgraded… Your welcome Saca Moco) without those two mofos, my life would’ve been rather dull and boring. Making fun of them is what I live for and without them I would have to be nice and make actual friends I’m not related to.

3. I’m thankful for my friends/slutties/sisters/boysters(boy sisters) for just being funny, crazy, sarcastic psychopaths that accept and embrace their crazy, because if not you’ll get cut from the group and there’s no coming back from that. We’ve all seen that happen, so don’t mess shit up for your selves.

4. Lastly, Im thankful for my office (my bathroom) where I write most posts from. Without this bathroom there would be no Life As A Moon because this is where all my ideas finally become something I can write about.

In all seriousness without any of the people on my list I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I am truly thankful to have each and everyone of you in my life. Without any of you I wouldn’t have anyone to laugh, cry, make up choreography to 3LW, sing, act, direct, or even watch Dancing with the Stars with. I love you all from the bottom of my heart… Especially you bathroom.

Love Ya From the Moon and Back,
Emily ( Happy Thanksgiving to all and to all a goodnight… I know that’s for Christmas but I feel like it just goes)

Vino Viernes/Adele Day!!

It’s Adele’s album release day, and I might be way to inebriated to make anytype of sense tonight because I will be drinking my feelings. So I’ve decided to write to you this lovely morning and let you know what my Friday night/ Saturday morning will be looking like. Well before I get to the drinking part of my night I will be going to go see ALADDIN ON BROADWAY!!!! I’m so freaking excited I’ve been wanting to see this musical since it opened on Broadway! Aaaaaahhhhhh I can’t contain all this excitement! Not only am I going to see freaking Aladdin on Broadway Adeles album 25 comes out today to… I don’t know what to do with myself!!!! If I wasn’t sitting in my car typing this I would be doing a Chinese fire drill… For those who don’t know what this is, its when the car you are in stops at a red light and everyone gets out and runs around the car and then gets back in to their seats; it’s super fun people in the other cars just look at you like your on crack. So yeah that’s just a snippet of my excitement level.

As for Saturday I’ll be nursing a hangover while watching the Hunger Games Mocking Jay Part 2!!! It’s such an eventful weekend!!

Well I gotta go to work now bye.

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( ADELE!!!!)