Tag: movies

Emily’s Thanksgiving of Thankfulness List!

In the spirit of Thanksgiving all I’m going to do tonight is make a list of the things I am thankful for, we shall call this list Emily’s Thanksgiving of Thankfulness List ( I know I know your super jealous of how my incredibly creative mind works).

1. The most important thing I’m thankful for is obviously my Awesomeness. Although if it weren’t for my parents I guess I wouldn’t be this awesome. In that case I’m most definitely grateful for my mommy and daddy. Without their individual Awesomness none of my super duper Awesomeness would exist, and that would just be super sad.

2. I’m thankful for my brothers ( I consider my cousin my brother so this thanksgiving he has been upgraded… Your welcome Saca Moco) without those two mofos, my life would’ve been rather dull and boring. Making fun of them is what I live for and without them I would have to be nice and make actual friends I’m not related to.

3. I’m thankful for my friends/slutties/sisters/boysters(boy sisters) for just being funny, crazy, sarcastic psychopaths that accept and embrace their crazy, because if not you’ll get cut from the group and there’s no coming back from that. We’ve all seen that happen, so don’t mess shit up for your selves.

4. Lastly, Im thankful for my office (my bathroom) where I write most posts from. Without this bathroom there would be no Life As A Moon because this is where all my ideas finally become something I can write about.

In all seriousness without any of the people on my list I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I am truly thankful to have each and everyone of you in my life. Without any of you I wouldn’t have anyone to laugh, cry, make up choreography to 3LW, sing, act, direct, or even watch Dancing with the Stars with. I love you all from the bottom of my heart… Especially you bathroom.

Love Ya From the Moon and Back,
Emily ( Happy Thanksgiving to all and to all a goodnight… I know that’s for Christmas but I feel like it just goes)

Vino Viernes/Adele Day!!

It’s Adele’s album release day, and I might be way to inebriated to make anytype of sense tonight because I will be drinking my feelings. So I’ve decided to write to you this lovely morning and let you know what my Friday night/ Saturday morning will be looking like. Well before I get to the drinking part of my night I will be going to go see ALADDIN ON BROADWAY!!!! I’m so freaking excited I’ve been wanting to see this musical since it opened on Broadway! Aaaaaahhhhhh I can’t contain all this excitement! Not only am I going to see freaking Aladdin on Broadway Adeles album 25 comes out today to… I don’t know what to do with myself!!!! If I wasn’t sitting in my car typing this I would be doing a Chinese fire drill… For those who don’t know what this is, its when the car you are in stops at a red light and everyone gets out and runs around the car and then gets back in to their seats; it’s super fun people in the other cars just look at you like your on crack. So yeah that’s just a snippet of my excitement level.

As for Saturday I’ll be nursing a hangover while watching the Hunger Games Mocking Jay Part 2!!! It’s such an eventful weekend!!

Well I gotta go to work now bye.

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( ADELE!!!!)

Now Accepting Boyfriend Applications!

I swears I don’t recognize myself any more… It’s like my personality has been altered. I know I’ve said this a couple times before, but I’ve been extra emotional lately. It’s gotten to the point where I’m freaking crying from a freaking gum commercial. I can’t lie though that Xtra (Extra… Idk how to spell it) gum commercial where these two people meet in high school and have a relationship and all that good stuff, but throughout the whole relationship the guy draws out all the most memorable parts on the wrapper of the gum that the girl gives him, and
At the end of the commercial the guy (I’m assuming) rents out a store front and sets it up like a gallery with all the pictures he’s drawn of their relationship and while the girl is going down memory lane she gets to one of the guy down in one knee and she’s like HOLY SHIT ( you know her facial expression says this) and she turns around and the guy is down on one knee proposing… It’s so freaking adorable, and it makes me all happy inside I literally smile throughout the whole commercial and of course the tears start to come down. Then I’m there in my room talking to myself like wow this guy is a freaking keeper, and damn that’s so beautiful. Also there’s the asshole in me that’s like dude you could’ve at least taking up some drawing classes. Well you get what I’m trying to say, I be crying a lot lately.

That’s not the only thing that’s been changing about me. I’ve noticed that I’m a lot more irritable. Everything freaking annoys the shit out of me. I have to remind myself to calm the hell down. I never used to be this way. It used to take a lot for me to want to punch somebody in the throat, but now just breathing near me might be the end of your life. I think this change in moods is what has me so antisocial more than ever. I’ve always been slightly antisocial… Don’t judge me I like to be home; I figure the more I’m home the less money I spend. But for the past couple of weeks I honestly haven’t wanted to be near anyone… Well besides my momma and my dad those two crack me up. I miss my old self where even when I didn’t want to go out I would at least slightly try to talk my self into going out… Now I’m just like you right we can just stay home and watch the Hallmark Channel all day; who needs friends or even finding a boyfriend when you can watch people fall in love, while your at home alone being all lonely and ridiculously single.

If you haven’t noticed I’m super single… So yea I’m taking applications for potential boyfriends. There are only three… No five requirements.
1. Must be at least 25 years of age or older to apply.
2. Must have a job ( legal…illegal whatever floats your boat)
3. Must laugh at everything funny I say… Or else!
4. Must be sarcastic; I can’t have people going home crying because you think I was an asshole.
5. The most important one… Must support my drinking habits.

Well…
Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( Happy Early Birthday to Momma Moon… Love you Mommy!!)

Brotherly Love!

Have you ever wondered if you’ve already met “the One” but met him/her at the wrong time in your life? Or if you’ve already met your “soulmate” but didn’t even realize it? No, so just me… Is it my loneliness aka single as Fuckness kicking in and messing with my head. That actually might be it, but I was actually thinking about my brothers life when this popped into my head, and of course it later turned into me thinking about the same things for myself, but I’ll tell you that a little later.

I guess we can start off with why I was thinking about my brothers life… obviously there was alcohol involved, but honestly when isn’t there. We were at our cousins house Saturday night, and having an in the backyard loud as hell R&B session… And when R&B/ slow jams are playing one tends to think about either romantic things or their last breakup. In this case I started thinking about my brothers ex-girlfriends and wondering if he had met any one of them at a different time in his life would one of them have ended up being my sister in-law. For those who know me I hope you know which one I’m talking about. I feel if he met this one Ex of his at a later time in his life things would’ve been different for them… In all honesty I think she was the One, but at the wrong time.

Then I started thinking if she was his soulmate. I know some might think “the One” and “soulmate” are one in the same, but I feel like they’re completely different. For me the One is that person who compliments you; who even though they might not see or believe things the same way you do they still want to be apart of your life, they want to make a life with you, they feel like they can’t live without you, that person who loves you unconditionally with your flaws and all that good shit that comes with you. I swear I read and watch way to much romantical shit, and it has ruined me for life. Any way, a soulmate is that person who you connect with on another level, someone you knows you inside and out, and not necessarily in a romantical way, it’s that person that you feel you can be your absolute self and you honestly don’t give a fuck what they think because they’re probably doing and the thinking the same thing about you. I feel like my brother has already found his soulmate, and it’s his best friend. Those two are like two peas in a pod, they’ve been best friends for as long as I can remember and they are still the best friends you would ever meet. At times I’m kind of jealous of their friendship… Of course I love my friends to death they are like my sisters, but this bond that my brother and my Brother from Anotha Motha (my brothers bestie) have is something beautiful. It’s like they were just meant to be in each others lives.

Well this was a lot longer than I thought it was going to be. That’s all for now… Maybe on Friday I’ll tell you about what I think I discovered about myself.

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( I’m sure there are people who have been fortunate enough to find both their soulmate and the One in one person, and I hope to one day be apart of those fortunate.)

Ps. I want to take this time to thank the men and women that have fought for our country and our freedom. You all are truly Amazing/Brave/Beautiful human beings and I love you all. Happy Veterans Day!

Damn You Elevator!

I’m having this craving for coffee and I don’t understand why. I’m not a big coffee drinker I prefer tea, but this coffee craving is taking over. It’s like everything I see is coffee, in the TV shows everybody’s drinking it. I feel like every commercial I’ve seen today was either Dunkin Donuts, Folgers, or Starbucks (I might be lying about this one I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Starbucks commercial). Anyway I just thought you should know that I’m craving a nice big cup of coffee preferably Iced French Vanilla light and sweet from Dunkin Donuts… Just in case anybody wanted to buy me one or whatever.

I’m sure most know by now that I’m a little on the weird crazy random thoughts side so this should not come by surprise, anywho the other day when I was in the bathroom I saw a fly and my first instinct is to slap it away because it was in my personal space. After I slapped it away I started to wonder what the fly was thinking, so of course I’ve created a list for you… Thoughts of a Fly:
1. WTF why are you trying to kill me?
2. What have I ever done to you? Stop it, leave me alone.
3. Aye I’m flying here!
4. I wonder if this car will give me a ride on its wind shield (obviously flys are super smart and know what a car and wind shield is… If you didn’t know this then you should go watch the movie A Bugs Life)
5. Hey stop trying to slap me I’m just trying to fly but you keep putting obstacles in my way.
6. I vant to suck your blood, bwuhahahaha (this is how the Vampire Fly aka Mosquito would sound)

Now I would like to end today with a little bit of knowledge. The most awkward situation/ place you will ever be in is an elevator. People trying not to make to much eye contact, or trying not to be to close to one another, or the lack of personal space, and the worst part is being that person who’s waiting for an elevator and when it finally gets to you but it’s full to the point some Final Destination shit can happen and everybody in the elevator just looks at you with pity in their eyes because you now have to wait for the next elevator to come while those bastards get a head start to getting to their cars and getting home before you would get to your house and it has nothing to do with the fact that they might live closer than you and has everything to do with the fact you were that loser who couldn’t be on that first elevator because there were a thousand people already on there… Damn you!!! So don’t mind my run on sentence I don’t believe in proper punctuation I feel like it kills creativity… I’m just saying.

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( it’s either 2 or 3 days till Cali I feel like I shouldn’t count today because it’s basically over already… Right?)

Hallmark Movie Star!

So I found out a few things about myself these past couple of days (basically yesterday and today, not really that many days it’s really only one day). The most important thing I figured out is that I want to be an actor. Buuuuut it might not be for the same reasons others want to be actors. Some people do it because it’s apart of who they are they love to entertain people and all that good stuff. Don’t get me wrong I love to entertain people I feel like that’s why God was like home girl it’s your turn go the to the next available stork and have them take you to your new life of being crazy awesome and spreading your awesomeness to the world. Yes that’s how babies are made, I refuse to listen to my mother tell me otherwise it’s disturbing and eeeeeewwwww. As I was saying I don’t want to be an actor to be apart of an amazing film and win myself an Oscar, although that would be awesome balls (I literally have to do the cheer AWESOME to help me remember how to spell it… I’ll give you a little snippet if you don’t know how it goes… A W E S O M E, awesome awesome awesome are we! Yeah! let’s got Tigers! Sorry I got a little carried away). The reason I want to be an actor is so that I can be a Hallmark Movie Star! I freaking love all Hallmark Movies especially the holiday ones, those are the best. How did I get to this amazing career choice you ask… Well I was watching a new Hallmark Movie last night and thought I wanna be in a Hallmark Movie and fall in love the way these people fall in love and have it last forever and ever or until the credits roll.

Then later on I figure out that I hate driving, well I’ve known I’ve disliked driving in certain occasions, but the worst part is that if I’m not driving I get car sick! It’s the freaking worst! You’d think I’d be super happy that I don’t have to drive, but then this nauseous feeling comes over me when the car starts moving so then I still have to drive or I’ll throw up all over the place. I remember this one time I had to have my dad pull over because I couldn’t handle it anymore! My mom thinks it’s because when I’m in a car either in the passenger or back seat, my brain automatically clicks into driver mode and my brain doesn’t understand that I’m not the one driving and it’s telling me to stomp on the brake because the person in front of us brake lights are on and the person that’s driving us around is not slowing down and they’re going to hit the car if we don’t STOMP ON THE BRAKE NOW (while my foot is actually stomping on the floor like I actually had a brake there)! So yea that’s what goes on in my head when other people are driving. Maybe that’s why I feel sick or it could be that my brain is trying to tell me that we have telepathic powers and I was trying to control the driver and that is what makes me sick… Me thinks it’s the second one, but who knows. Well Ta Ta for now.

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( 5 days still CALIFORNIA!!!)

Vino Viernes!!

So what had happened on Wednesday went down like this. On my way home from work I told my self I was going to eat dinner real quick then take a quick power nap. It was all supposed to be fast. The next thing I know my first of five alarms went off and so yea what I’m saying is that I totally fell sleep on Wednesday hence why I didn’t post anything. I told my self ill just do a quick post on Thursday buuuuuuut I was like nah I’m not going to mess up my rotation. Now on to the main events…Wine, Vino, Du Vin. Todays wine is Barefoots Merlot, I cant remember if I’ve already tried this one but I’m alittle on the broke side and this was the only thing that was in my house soooo Merlot it is…and please its pronounced Mer-Lot, okay thanks. This is another dry wine, and this one has an actual grapey taste, I know wine is basically smooshed grapes’ (this apostrophe was the only way Microsoft Word would let me leave my incorrect sentence structure…so the apostrophe must stay) by people’s nasty ass feet. I might just be talking caca because I put a generous amount of Sprite in my glass before I even took a sip of the wine. I am THE worst wine drinker ever!

I’m going to give you a recap of the past week. I realized on Sunday that it was both a good and bad idea watching San Andreas two weeks (at the time of this thought…it is now one week till California…yay!!) before going to Cali. The bad reason is because I scared the shit out of myself, like why would I do that to myself I’m such an asshole. The good reason is I now have somewhat of an idea on what I should do to survive some shit like that. For example I should get to higher ground, find land lines to call my dad and let him know that I got out of a car in an underground parking garage because of the British boy and his younger brother that I befriended (when I say befriend I mean fall in love… obvi), don’t trust Mr. Fantastic because he’s not going to help you out of said car, stay away from falling glass and light poles, and watch out for big ass holes that might swallow you; the most important one is I really have to get my holding my breath underwater for a really long ass time game up. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson you taught me well, my mom can now rest easy. By the way if you didn’t see the movie you probably shouldn’t read this paragraph there are a lot of spoilers… just saying.

On Tuesday I realized a lot of things the first one is that it only takes me about 8 songs to get to work, but that’s only on those extremely lucky no traffic days. Secondly, McDonalds McfingGriddles are super addicting, only get one if you have enough self control to not buy one every day for a week in a half for breakfast…clearly I failed on this one, so now I have to find a completely different way to work without passing by McDs (which is hard because it’s a block away from my job). Also, I use the little microphone button on my phone to help me spell all the time. Lastly, every time I get a glance at my shadow I’m always like “damn girl your eyelashes are long as hell”, but then I look in the Mirror and I’m like “But where did you go?”

Wednesday morning I was listening to Elvis Duran and the Morning Show and they were talking about when they went crazy town on people for the stupidest/smallest reasons. I automatically thought of the time I flipped out on my brother for taking my phone charger. I rarely get mad and I don’t count road rage as getting mad because honestly when you sit behind the wheel you become a psychopath, but one of the people that can get me so angry at the drop of a hat is my brother. The day I went text crazy on him was already a bad day for me and for me to come home with my phone on 10% battery life and no charger in sight I just lost it. I texted him everything in the book that I know would piss him off. I know it was stupid that it was just a charger, but when your already having a shitty day the smallest thing pushes you over the edge. This is a warning for all you brothers out there with sisters, we remember everything and I mean EVERYTHING, and when you least expect it we will (as Dane Cook likes to say) mind ninja the shit out of you. On that note I say good day.

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,

Emily (don’t mess with your sisters…shit will get deadly!)

Randomness of the Noggin!

So tonight’s post is a collection of random stuff that has occurred in the past two days. I shall write them in order of when each thought popped into my noggin. Since of course I love making lists and will find any reason to make one I shall give thee one now. I call this list Randomness of the Noggin (before I start the list I want to let everyone know that I have THE worst handwriting ever I don’t understand half the shit I wrote… Why did I write this down 1st, you ask?… IDK)

Here is my list:
1. Yesterday on the way home from work I got stuck behind the train. The first thing that popped into my head was a scene of me running on top of a moving train; like in all action movies ever, and of course that part when Joey Fatone and Chris Kirpatrick ran away from that crazy chick in the Bye Bye Bye video… Classic.

2. Have you ever wanted aliens to take over the world, or even for there to be a zombie apocalypse so you wouldn’t have to pay your bills anymore. Sigh, that would be the life. I think I would be a magnificent alien slave or badass zombie, just saying.

3. When I was younger I had cut my lip open and I had to get stitches…Because you know I was an angel as a child. Yesterday my mom asked me if you could still see the scar from where I got stitches and ever since I’ve been having phantom stitches pain, thanks mom!

4. Outback has the most Delish bread ever!!! I love it!

5. Newest musical obsession is Alessia Cara! I’ve heard her song “Here” on the radio a couple of times but I was never able to get her name or the name of the song… Until yesterday when I heard her on Elvis Duran and the Morning show. I already loved her song, but after hearing her sing “Here” live and acoustic on the radio I completely fell in love! As soon as I got to work I bought her EP, which is called Four Pink Walls-EP! Everyone must get it! She’s amazing!!!!

6. Finally, this new Instagram DM confused the shit out of me. Frover sent a DM to me and the rest of the Slutties and when I opened it I thought I was in a group chat… Confusions.

Alright, alright it’s about that time. I say good day!

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily (by the way my hand cramped up at least 6 times while I was writing this. Just so you know I was physically hurt why writing tonight’s post.)

Rest in Peace to the greatest catcher in pinstripes Yogi Berra. “If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.” -Yogi Berra

Brain Farts Are The Worst!

So I’m here doggy sitting/ just keeping the little nugget company at Sluttie McSluttersons, and this little dog hasn’t stopped running around. So I’m watching tv while watching puppy nugget run around the coffee table and while I was changing the channel I found Bring It On. This is one of those movies no matter if I’ve seen it to the point that I can basically recite the movie/cheers/choreography word for word, I will forever stop and watch it… Even if it’s at the end.

Any way as I was saying as soon as I started watching the movie I noticed that puppy nugget stopped running around and sat down in front of the Tv and literally (must say in British accent) watched the movie with me. Me thinks he’s a Bring It On fan, and I approve. Now that the movie is over home boy is on a rampage again. OMG I just realized that Vince Vaughn is always eating in all his movies, and not just eating regular but stuffing his face… OOO Vince Vaughn you cracks me up.

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( I want to apologize for this shite of a post I’m currently having a brain fart!)

Vino Viernes!

I was having a pretty good night (Was being the operative word) until some little sucka duck pissed me off!!! I shall start from the beginning for thee.

So tonight I went to the movies with two of my slutties… We saw The Scorch Trials, which was fucking amazing… Not only am I slightly obsessed with Dylan O’Brien, but I’m okay I’m extremely obsessed. In all honesty this movie was amazing… If you haven’t seen The Maze Runner go see that one first then go see The Scorch Trials, you shan’t be disappointed! Any way back to my story. So after the movie Boobielicuous and I decide that we Hungry, so we made our way to Applebee’s, because you know half price appetizers after 10pm, and while we were there we saw some peeps and caught up with people.

While we were there these two couples on what look like a double date to me, but they could totes be swingers who knows. Anyway these couples sitting behind Boobielicious were right in my line of vision! And oooo was the PDA on full blast! These mofos have no respect for us lonely motherfuckers. There they were all huggy and kissy and sharing fucking dessert… LIKE WTF, give me a break I’m about to be in tears here being reminded of my singledom! My lonely, broke, lonely singledom.

After I’m already depressed because I’m there with my Sluttie instead of my future Ex-husband, Boobielicious decides she wants to stab me and twist the knife(metaphorically speaking, but ooo did it feel real!!) this WHORE points out that our waiter didn’t even ID me for the Pitcher of Peach Sangria I ordered, which I basically drank the whole thing, I only let Boobielicious have one glass, well that’s what she deserved for inadvertently calling me old and then for literally (must say with British accent) looking in my face and calling me old! Now you know Boobielicious why you are a WHORE and why you only got one glass!!!

At those point I was still having a good night and then this is where this little mofo in the Honda Civic with his little mofo friends come into the picture! These little dickheads were parked next to my Manny, and were just sitting there with their windows down talking shit. So when we got in the car and started to take off this little shit head asshole piece of horse manure takes off at the same time as me!!! And then the little slut bitch cunt licker sitting in the back throws up dueces out the window!!! I don’t know if you understand the anger that was coursing through me!! I was about to do some horrid horrid things to those little fubnuckers! I don’t think people understand that I keep my ghetto locked down at all times, but when you do some dumbass shit like that my inner Chonga comes out and it’s a bitch to lock her up again! Okay I feel better now. I’m sorry for all the profanity today I just couldn’t hold it back.

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( now because I’m all worked up I’m hot as hell!)