Tag: montreal

Vino Viernes! The Original

 

It’s back and better than ever!!!! The original Vino Viernes!!! Yaaaassss!!!! Just so you know this will be Ashley… Sorry I meant to put a short one… Ahhhh. Holy fubnucker this Canadian shit is strong as hell!!! If you haven’t noticed I’m drinking the bottle I bought in Montreal! It’s called Cassius Blackcurrant… I think there are a lot of names on this bottle and I’m not sure which one it is, but I can describe the bottle to you. Actually I’m super lazy and slightly sloshed ( I heard someone say this and I thought it’s was highlarious!) so I’m going to put a picture up instead!

As I said before this shit is strong as hell… Any way this wine has a very fruity taste! From what I remember the lady ( the one who had us taste the wines at the festival in Montreal) said that it was blackberry, but I wouldn’t be able to tell you because I’ve never had blackberries before so I can’t say. All I can tell you is that it’s pretty DELISH! My dad doesn’t like it so that means I like it even more!!!! Hopefully this bottle lasts longer than the others. One thing I suggest with this wine is taking breaks between sips, because it’s so sweet it can be very tiring. The thing I don’t like about this wine is that it kind of smells like potpourri… seriously just had the hardest time trying to spell potpourri, Who the hell knew there was a T in that word. I hate silent letters… If letters are put together to make a word then freaking pronounce the letters… All of them!!!! You don’t understand how much that bothers me!! Well that’s it for tonight peeps I’m gonna go drink/listen to music with my brother and cousin!

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( how deep is your love… Aaaah ooooo aaaaah oooo… I want you to breathe me, let me be your air… How deep is your love, is it like nirvana, hit me harder oooo yeah, how deep is your love, is it like the ocean pull me closer!!! I love this song!!! Calvin Harris- How Deep is Your Love!!)

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Vino Viernes Part Deux

Vino Viernes Part Deux begins in 3…2…(mouths the number 1 and points to host)

Welcome back to tonight episode, this is the time one would give a recap of what they missed, buuuut as we all know by now I’m super lazy… I suggest just taking a quick gander and Vino Viernes Part Un so we can all be on he same page!

Today our story begins and ends on a warm Saturday (August 22). I know super sad, but all we did Sunday was drive back home; not many interesting things happened. Back to the story, Saturday we had a day full of adventures and obviously more wine!! Our main goal on Saturday though was to have the Poutine, so we basically planned our day around it… I’ll get back the the Poutine a little later.

You would think because we (myself, Boobielicious and Slutty McSlutterson… Just incase you forgot) were on vacation and well because it was a fucking Saturday and the day before we were up at the butt crack of dawn driving to Casa Carajo Land… I just asked my mom how I would translate that for you and it apparently has a bajillion meanings (most of them are bad) but in this case it basically means Far as F*** Land… And explored Montreal all day, that I l don’t know maybe we would sleep past fucking 8 O’Fing Clock in the morning; I digress.

When we all showered and dressed (separately… You nasties!!) we devised a plan for the day:

1. Exchange American Mula for Canadian Dough. This didn’t work out as we planned so we ended up just withdrawing money from a TD bank ( didn’t know TD is a Canadian bank… Well that’s what my parents told me so obvi they wouldn’t lie to me, or would they?). So I ended up taking out 100 in Canadian Dough which equals to like 70 something in American Mula… PEOPLE THIS WAS THE BEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME!!!! How do I know the exchange rate when my mathematic skills are horrid, you ask. Well my friends I look on my Bank of America App and that’s how I found out. How did I get to use my app when I had my phone on airplane mode the whole time, you ask. Well me and these slutties I went with hooked up to every free Wifi we could get onto… That’s how! GENIUSNESS!!!! It’s was like everywhere we walked (well everywhere we walked in the Village) was like having contact with the world, because we hopped from Wifi (Weefee… Correct pronunciation, just in case you didn’t know) to Wifi. Of course everyone knows that if it’s not snap chatted or Insta-ed than you weren’t really there. HAAA gosh I’m so funny.

2. Food. You’d think, that’s simple enough… Weeeell not so much we still had to somehow read the menu to order breakfast.

3.Bikes. No not the motorized ones, although I do wish we had one of those instead. You see nobody tells you that when your going to explore a new city walking and/or biking, one must wear comfortable shoes and cloths. You might say that is common sense and I do agree with you there, but you don’t realize how much walking and or biking you have done until you stop doing it! Holy mother of pearl, I’ve never been in so much pain in my fucking life! The only thing that soothed my pain was coming across a, I want to say pirate festival, where they had Wine tastings!!! Yes I said Wine TASTINGS!!! And it was amazing! I tried like six different kinds and they were all amazing and I might’ve gotten a little tipsyish… And yes I did end up buying a bottle which will be revealed to you this Friday for the real Vino Viernes!!! So exciting! Aside from the wine we also tried Maple Liqueur? Liquor? I’m not sure which one was used on the bottle, but Holy Hannah Montana it was sooooo creaking (Crack and freaking morfied into one) good. So the lady that was giving us the sample told us at first to take a small sip so we would be able to taste the liquor… Then for the rest of the shot she poured cream in it and Holy Crocodile Dundee it was Canadian Maple Heaven! So so so so so so so feeling DELISH!!!

4. Poutine. YAAAAASSSSS. We got to have some Poutine. I’ve been wanting to try this since my brother went to Montreal last year and told me about it. He did not steer me wrong. This meal was so freaking good. I had the smoked meat Poutine, which is basically fries, the most delicious gravy, cheese and smoked meat on top. Holy Crap your pants fantastic! After a day of walking and biking this was the best lunch ever! If I could I would have one everyday!

5. Go to a bar and have a drink. Well we never got around to this one. By the time we got back to our hotel to drop off our bags of souvenirs, and then ride the bikes we rented back to the rental place, and then walk back to our hotel so we could relax before our ghost hunt later in Old Montreal we were freaking exhausted. So I’m going to break down how we got to that having drinks part. Don’t be so shocked sometimes your just to tired to drink,YES THAT HAPPENES… Judges! We were riding around what felt like the whole city, but really was just most of Old Montreal, since 11am till around 5 or 6 when we returned our bikes. Our asses were hurting so bad! At around 8:30 we went to go do this Ghost Hunt (more like a walking history class) McSlutterson had found, and that lasted till about 10pm… We knew we would be walking, but craptastic land they should warn you how much when you purchase these fucking tickets!!! When we finished this hunt we were starving and our bodies were in pain; so we went to go find food. By the time we ate it was like 11:30 almost 12am, ain’t nobody got time for drinking when you can barely tell if your feet are still attached to your body!

All in all our trip was freaking amazing, and I still have a bicycle seat imprint on my ass to show for it! Although next time I go to Montreal I’m going to have to buy clouds for shoes and padded undies for a more comfy bike ride! Bonne Nuit ( Good Night… I’m telling you my French is on point, thanks to google translate)!

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily (I just want to apologize for all the F bombs I dropped tonight… That’s just the only way I knew how to express myself correctly.)

Vino Viernes Part Un

imageI’m BaaaaaaaaaAaaaaack!!!! How much did you miss me! First I want to let you know that I tried to do Vino Viernes on Friday, but because I was in CANADA!!!!!!!!! I couldn’t because I didn’t have service up there nah mean jelly bean! Any way I’ve decided that today, Monday, will be Vino Viernes Part Un (French for the number 1 just in case you didn’t know). So much went on this weekend that I have to give you two posts just to let you know of my Canadian Adventures, and so we begin!

Don’t worry just because I was in a different country doesn’t mean I didn’t drink me some vino!!! The wine we had on Friday (when I say we I mean myself, Sluttie McSlutterson and Boobielicious) was super French I couldn’t even pronounce it (the bottles name was Marquis de Méricourt… I know super fancy) what I did understand was that it was Rosé (I love that É, it’s so classy). One of the many things I love about Montreal is that little bodegas (aka corner stores) sell alcohol. I decided to tell you this because I bought this bottle in the bodega next to our hotel. Now on to the flavor… The first sip I took was pretty delish but the second and third were not so good. It had a weird after taste that I was not a fan of and it was slightly dry. It would definitely be better if I turned it into a rosé spritzer (with some sprite… That’s basically what I do to all the dry wines that I’ve had in the name of Vino Viernes because no wine goes un-sipped or in my case guzzled.

Now that I’ve spoken of Friday’s wine I must now tell you about our start to Montreal weekend.

So we ( myself, Sluttie McSlutterson and Boobielicious… Just reminding you who we consists of) started our day off at 5 in the morning. Well I actually stared at 5:15 because these hoes were coming to me so I gots to sleep an extra 15 minutes… Ha ha suckas! So our plan was to to start driving up at 6am. Any way Sluttie McSlutterson is the first to get to my house and we were here bullshitting while I got the final things I would need for our trip. Then I get a text from Boobielicious that she’s outside, so as we were walking through my house to go outside I randomly ask McSlutterson if she has her passport… Thinking the answer is yes I keep walking… When she says some form of “HOLY GUACAMOLE EMILY THE MOST AWESOME PERSON I’VE EVER KNOWN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE No I don’t!” My response was “are you forserious?” So the point of that part of the story is that we didn’t start our trip at 6, because we had to drive to McSluttersons house first so she could get her passport.

About five hours later (say it the way that guy in Sponge Bob says it… Hehehe) as were still driving up through New York and getting closer to the border my Waze (The Best GPS App ever!!!) Starts telling us things in French… Just so everyone know I am now almost fluent in French (not really but I’ve learned some new words)… Anyway when I looked at my phone to see what exit we have to get off its says Sortie 53 (Exit 53) and I look and I say in the car so everyone could hear (you know it was pretty loud because we had the windows down, trying to save some gas and also because it was freaking 65 degrees outside, but that’s besides the point) “Dude Waze (it’s pronounced WahZee… Not ways,  if anyone ever pronounces it wrong in my presence your dead to me… Okay I joke not dead, but I will Ignore you) is talking to me in French!!!! Aaahhhh!!!” So as were getting closer to the border I realize that once we cross the border were not going to be able to use our phones. I didn’t care care about not being able to use the phone the problem was that we needed Waze to get to our Hotel, so a dilemma arouse. So I decided to take screen shots of the step by step directions (don’t worry I wasn’t driving anymore McSlutterson was… I didn’t do illegal things) so we would have to kick it old school and read signs and actually pay attention rather than having something yell at you where you have to exit or make a right in 500 feet… Honestly who the fuck knows exactly what 500 hundred feet is!!! Come on son!!!! They have to say make a right at the next light sucka!! That would make more sense. Finally we get to the border and I realize how obnoxious America is, we have this huge United States of America across the tolls, while Canada just had a flag on the side… Super chill nothing yelling at anybody in letters to tell them where they have arrived! Although the USA sign is pretty badass!!! So once we crossed the border and arrived in Montreal we started to explore and we came across Le Village, which is the most spectacular place ever. It’s so beautiful and I instantly fell in love with the city. There is art work on every wall imaginable and music coming out of every where! If you go anywhere in your life you have to make sure you make it up to Montreal, this place is incredible.

I’m sorry but this is where Part Un ends come read about the rest of our exhausting but fabulous trip to Montreal on Wednesday in Vino Viernes Part Deux (because I’m super French Canadian now and also because I can only count up to three… By the way that means number 2)

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily (I would totes move to Montreal… It’s so beautiful up there)

O Canada!!!

O CANADA OUR HOME AND NATIVE LAND….okay I know I’m not Canadian, but I have good reason why I’m singing the Canadian National Anthem, but first…let me take a selfie, I joke I joke. Seriously though every time I think of the Canadian National Anthem I automatically start singing the Genovia National Anthem; Ge-no-via the land I call my home, Genovia Genooooovia for-e-ver will your banner WAAAAVE. For those who don’t know what I speak/sing of you must watch Princess Diaries 1 and 2… One of my favorites!!! Anyway I’m sorry Canada, but the melody is very similar I just can’t help myself.

So the reason I bring up Canada is because I’m planning on going to Canada sometime this month!!! This is so exciting, I go from not even wanting to leave my house sometimes (because I’m extremely lazy) to going to CANADA!!!! I’m so freaking adventurous!

So me and two of my slutties are planning to go to Montreal. For the past week or so I’ve been looking for places to stay and what we should do and all that good stuff. So while googling (because Google is life) I come across this website called Airbnb, which has a lot of great choices. In this website you basically rent someone’s apartment or house. So because the Montreal area speaks French, a lot of the descriptions of the apartments are in french. The most I can do in French is say hi, goodbye, my name is , and ooo I can count to three… Courtesy Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen’s movie Passport to Paris. That’s about as much oooo wait I can also sing that naughty part from the song Lady Marmalade… Hehehe. I think that one would just get me into all kinds of trouble. Basically what I’m telling you is that google translate has been a very good friend to me. At one point though I got tired of copying and pasting, and I just made believe that I understood what I was attempting to read. It’s like when I watch a movie with subtitles, I get tired of reading and just watch the movie assuming I know what they’re saying. Au revoir pour le moment… OOOO Google translate! By the way that’s supposed to mean goodbye for now.

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( if I ever try to speak french to a French person they would hate me soooo much)