Happy Thanksgiving!!!

On this weeks episode I talk about my thanksgiving and that my family and I have decided to start our own home renovation show! In honor of the snow “Baby, it’s cold outside” gets its time on “I’m Sorry, Que”

This podcast is available basically everywhere! Follow me on Instagram: @lifeasamoon and @em_ily421

Follow the links below to get to the podcast!!

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/life-as-a-moon/id1485767206?uo=4

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

On this weeks episode I talk about my thanksgiving and that my family and I have decided to start our own home renovation show! In honor of the snow “Baby, it’s cold outside” gets its time on “I’m Sorry, Que”

This podcast is available basically everywhere! Follow me on Instagram: @lifeasamoon and @em_ily421

Follow the links below to get to the podcast!!

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/life-as-a-moon/id1485767206?uo=4

I’m Sorry, Que?

New episode up right now!!!

This week I talk about how I’m the greatest gift my mother ever received, moving out of my parents house and I completely butcher the song Ella y Yo by Aventura and Don Omar in the Im sorry, Que segment.

Linked below are all the platforms you can find the podcast. I hope you come by and experience life through me. 😂

Anchor:

https://anchor.fm/lifeasamoon

Apple Podcast:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/life-as-a-moon/id1485767206?uo=4

Spotify:

https://open.spotify.com/show/5yuaE0CsX5MuqHEaDYIjK4

Google Podcast:

https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy9mYjhmYmI0L3BvZGNhc3QvcnNz

Breaker:

https://www.breaker.audio/life-as-a-moon

Pocket Cast:

https://pca.st/8kxhqus0

Overcast:

https://overcast.fm/itunes1485767206/life-as-a-moon

Mama Moon!!

As Lil’ Kim would say “I been gone for a minute now I’m back with the jump off…”. I know I know I’ve been so freaking inconsistent lately, but I wasn’t in the right mind set to write, and I’ll get to that reason next week. BUT!!! I thought today would be the best day for my return! “Why?” you ask. Because any chance I get to talk about my momma is a good day to start writing again! So this post is dedicated to Mama Moon.

First and foremost I want to say Happy Mother’s Day to the lady that carried me in her tum tum. There have been times where I’ve written about my mom but what you guys don’t know is what an incredibly strong woman she is! Without my mom all of us would be lost! This woman is the key to our survival! Once a year or so my mom has to go away for a couple days for work and when I tell you we don’t know what to do with ourselves it’s not a joke. My dad would literally just be home sad waiting for my mom to get back. It’s like this man doesn’t know how to be a functioning adult man without her.

For me, my mom is my best friend. She’s the one person I can confide in and I know that she would totally judge the shit out of me but still love me! Honestly I do do some judge worthy shit and I’m cool with it and 95% if the time she’s cool with it too. My mom is my therapist, my doctor, my window shopping buddy that inevitability turns into actual shopping because we can’t control ourselves, partner in crime (just know if you ever see me speeding through a yellow light, that it’s my mom next to me yelling “GO GO GO GO!”), food aficionado and my number 1 fan. You know what the best part about this is, she pays for everything and all I have to do is drive her around… just kidding ok not really she mostly does pay for everything😁. But here’s one thing I don’t tell her enough (I’m sure this goes out to a lot of us) but Mom you are my fucking super hero and I love you so much! Without you I wouldn’t be half the woman I am today. I’m incredibly lucky to have you as my mother and I wouldn’t have it any other way!

I love you Mum from the Moon and Back,

Mimi ( your favorite child. Don’t worry that other one already knows)

P.S. I also want to thank everyone that has kept reading my blog while I’ve been gone. I really appreciate you. I also have another page solely dedicated to my latest hobby (photography). So if you want to check out my photos the page is called Moon View and here’s the link ( Moon View ).

Where Did My Brain Go?

I’ve done some incredibly nerve-wrecking things and have had some pretty nerve induced moments in my life, but the nervousness I went through last week was insurmountable. Before I get to the shit show that went down last week let me be incredibly modest and just write about all the magnificent things that have happened in my life. It all started when my mom found out she was pregnant with the most magical being to ever exist… ok you don’t need to know that let’s just fast forward through my incredible existence. 

So, I’ve played sports throughout my life and there have been some nail biting moments then, buuuuut I’ve still done more hand shaking hyperventilating type things. I’ve auditioned for multiple singing competitions. “But Emily, why would that make you nervous? You seem like a pocket full of sunshine and merry-go-rounds, and you would never be nervous for anything.” Well I really appreciate the vote of confidence you have in me, but I actually have something called “Le stage fright”. I know right… ME…having stage fright…. impossible. Negator…extremely possible. When it comes to singing in front of people (doesn’t matter if I know them or not) I have some trouble. The only way I can sing in front of anyone and it doesn’t bother me is if we are related (because you can’t get rid of me I will always be a part of your family… bwuahahahaha) or if I’m really close to you. Ooo also I’ll sing to you if you sing with me… I love doing that!. Anywho so yes I’ve auditioned for American Idol, The Voice (*cough* several times *cough*) and X-Factor. 

After all of that I never thought I would be as nervous as I was then. Oooo but was I wrong! Last week I had to do a video interview for this job I applied for. I know right… super fancy! I thought everything was going to be fine I’ve had experience interviewing before, yes it was my first time doing a video interview but honestly how bad can it be. LET ME TELL YOU… it can go horribly horrendously wrong! Once that little light on my laptop went on letting me know the recording had commenced… my whole body froze! When I say my whole body I mean even my fucking brain!!! It’s like I forgot every word I’ve ever learned in my 27 years of life. I’m pretty sure I forgot my name… actually no that was the only thing I remembered because I introduced myself even though they never asked. Eventually I got over my stupor, but it didn’t get any better. I was so nervous that my hands were shaking and I’m pretty sure I was sweating profusely. All in all it wasn’t great…. possibly the worse experience of my life to date. 

Well I must sleep now because after reliving that interview my nerves are shot.

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,Emily (if you were wondering I didn’t get a second interview… Momma always told me… you win some, you lose some and sometimes you ruin your own life… just kidding, she didn’t say that I made that up.)

It’s official… I’m In Love!

“I’m still breathing, I’m still breathing, I’m still breathing, I’m still breathing… I’m ALIIIIIIIIVE, I’m aliiiiiive I’m aLIIIIIIIIIVE, I’m aliiiiiive!” Gosh darn it Sia I love you!!! If you haven’t listened to Sia’s This is Acting album then your crazy! I’m alive and bird set free speak to me… It’s freaking magical!

Any who’s Ello Loves. It was a pretty fantastical weekend for me. Fine all right already I’ll tell you. I met someone. And it’s not just anyone, but I thinks it’s THE ONE! I know I didn’t expect it either but when you know you know, and ooo do I know. We fell inlove so fast I can’t even believe it myself, and believe me I’m slightly cynical so it’s crazy.

So we met Saturday like mid morning at a Honda dealership. Such an unlikely place to find love but in our case it just makes sense. Anyway at first I wasn’t sure how to approach it, but eventually I grew some cojones (balls) and was like “hey, how are you? I think we can be really great together” ( I know so forward of me, but sometimes you just have to go for it… You know). Then we just went driving for hours… We went to the mall, target and then five below (love this store it’s kind of addicting so be careful). We just made a day for us… And it was truly magical. I want everyone to meet the love of my life ( for about the next 2 and a half to 3 years or so) Betty!

image
Gosh that was such a romantical love story. I should really just write for a living. Ooo thanks for bring that up…By the by I’m thinking of starting another blog, but that one would just be for some stories that I’ve written. I haven’t decided when I will start it, but it’s in the thinking and planning stages right now. So you know it’ll happen eventually.

Well that’s all I got I’m just going to stare at Betty’s picture lovingly now.

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( naming Betty was hard for me… My mum and I went back and forth between Barry, Barry Blanc (must say with French accent) and Betty, but Betty just felt more lady than lad… Nah mean!)

Ps. Happy National Sibling Day!

Worst Week Ever!

Well this week has been a miserable one. Last weekend me and my mom decided to go on a diet. So you know its been a week without any sweets, and all the delicious non healthy things. I don’t mind eating healthier, I like veggies and fruits, and I don’t even mind not having carbs all the time. The thing that is making this torture is what my mother told me on Friday.

Friday night my parents and I went to Outback, my usual reaction would be like hell yeah free food and drinks… buuuuuut then again I’m on a diet and can’t have my Alice Springs Chicken Quesadilla. So I went with steak and some steamed veggies crap, but I was still okay with that because I was gonna have either a big glass of beer or my favorite a frozen peach Bellini (its called a Wally-B Darned but I’m not sure if I spelled it right). As I was saying I was cool not having my usual because I was gonna get my drink on.

Do you want to know what my mother said to me. She said I can’t have any delish alcoholic beverages while being on this diet… Blasphemy!! I felt scandalized, how could she say such horrid things to me. To clarify I asked if that also meant my most beloved Vino, Wine, Deliciousness in a bottle as well. She had the audacity to say yup nothing with alcohol those are empty calories, EMPTY CALORIES!! HOW RUDE. I know right,  how dare my mom say such mean things about something I love. Wine has never did me dirty… I cant say the same for other alcohol related things, because one to many shots and who knows what I’ll do or who I’ll become. But wine, that’s my home girl/home boy/best friends I ever had. I don’t consider wine alcohol; wine is just grape juice with a kick you know grown-up grape juice or something. It does magical things.

I told my mom that I’d just have beer, wine and deeeelish peach Bellini’s for dinner. I didn’t think it was a bad idea, but Mama Moon didn’t approve of this idea. so basically this week really just turned to crap on Friday night when I was told that I’m not allowed to have Alcohol. Whoa is me… What kind of world do we live in that drinking has calories in the first place. don’t even start with the skinny girl drinks, I’d rather drink gasoline then that crap. Well I’m off to have another miserable week. See ya next Sunday.

Love Ya from The Moon and Back,

Emily (I hope everyone is enjoying their wings and other scrumptious foods you’ll be eating on this fine Super Bowl Sunday; while I sit here eating celery and carrots and waiting for the Half-Time show… where you know Queen Bey is going to Slay.)

Now Accepting Boyfriend Applications!

I swears I don’t recognize myself any more… It’s like my personality has been altered. I know I’ve said this a couple times before, but I’ve been extra emotional lately. It’s gotten to the point where I’m freaking crying from a freaking gum commercial. I can’t lie though that Xtra (Extra… Idk how to spell it) gum commercial where these two people meet in high school and have a relationship and all that good stuff, but throughout the whole relationship the guy draws out all the most memorable parts on the wrapper of the gum that the girl gives him, and
At the end of the commercial the guy (I’m assuming) rents out a store front and sets it up like a gallery with all the pictures he’s drawn of their relationship and while the girl is going down memory lane she gets to one of the guy down in one knee and she’s like HOLY SHIT ( you know her facial expression says this) and she turns around and the guy is down on one knee proposing… It’s so freaking adorable, and it makes me all happy inside I literally smile throughout the whole commercial and of course the tears start to come down. Then I’m there in my room talking to myself like wow this guy is a freaking keeper, and damn that’s so beautiful. Also there’s the asshole in me that’s like dude you could’ve at least taking up some drawing classes. Well you get what I’m trying to say, I be crying a lot lately.

That’s not the only thing that’s been changing about me. I’ve noticed that I’m a lot more irritable. Everything freaking annoys the shit out of me. I have to remind myself to calm the hell down. I never used to be this way. It used to take a lot for me to want to punch somebody in the throat, but now just breathing near me might be the end of your life. I think this change in moods is what has me so antisocial more than ever. I’ve always been slightly antisocial… Don’t judge me I like to be home; I figure the more I’m home the less money I spend. But for the past couple of weeks I honestly haven’t wanted to be near anyone… Well besides my momma and my dad those two crack me up. I miss my old self where even when I didn’t want to go out I would at least slightly try to talk my self into going out… Now I’m just like you right we can just stay home and watch the Hallmark Channel all day; who needs friends or even finding a boyfriend when you can watch people fall in love, while your at home alone being all lonely and ridiculously single.

If you haven’t noticed I’m super single… So yea I’m taking applications for potential boyfriends. There are only three… No five requirements.
1. Must be at least 25 years of age or older to apply.
2. Must have a job ( legal…illegal whatever floats your boat)
3. Must laugh at everything funny I say… Or else!
4. Must be sarcastic; I can’t have people going home crying because you think I was an asshole.
5. The most important one… Must support my drinking habits.

Well…
Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( Happy Early Birthday to Momma Moon… Love you Mommy!!)

Vino Viernes!!

This whole week has revolved around getting ready for my vacation, I like to call it prepping for Cali week. The following is what was done to prepare for California: getting my nails and toes done, buying the last couple of things I forgot to get, getting my hair done, packing, and finally taming the caterpillars on my lower forehead right above my eyes aka eyebrows.

Prepping week started off on Saturday when I went to get my nails done did. Me and my momma dukes went to a new place, and don’t get me wrong they did a really good job but that shit was expensive and they were having a 40% off sale… Imagine how much that shit is at regular price… Scandalous!!!! Also the second most awkward situation is when you get your nails done and while they’re drying your manicurist gives you a back rub and they’re hurting you more than relieving back ache and you don’t know how to say can you fucking stop your hurting me without being a bitch so you sit there in pain pretending that it feels really good… I think I should win a freaking Oscar for making my lady believe she gives and amazing back massage.

Next was getting my toes done. I love getting my toes done , but girl when they get to scrubbing it tickles like a mofo, and apparently my pedicurist is a drill sergeant giving me orders and shit… Stretch! Switch! You have ugly toes… Gasp hurtful!( so she didn’t say that but she was definitely thinking it).

Now please tell me I am not the only one that curses out my eyebrow lady in my head at a very loud inner head voice? If the lady that does my eyebrows could read my mind I wouldn’t leave with hair any where. Well, Tonight I’m toasting to my future adventures in California with a glass of Sutter Homes Sparkling Pink Moscato… As you might know I’m a BareFoot fan but I didn’t have to pay so I’m a Sutter Home lady tonight.

Ps. I’m taking a two week hiatus so I’ll see you guys two Vino Viernes’ from now!

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily (California here I come!!)

Hallmark Movie Star!

So I found out a few things about myself these past couple of days (basically yesterday and today, not really that many days it’s really only one day). The most important thing I figured out is that I want to be an actor. Buuuuut it might not be for the same reasons others want to be actors. Some people do it because it’s apart of who they are they love to entertain people and all that good stuff. Don’t get me wrong I love to entertain people I feel like that’s why God was like home girl it’s your turn go the to the next available stork and have them take you to your new life of being crazy awesome and spreading your awesomeness to the world. Yes that’s how babies are made, I refuse to listen to my mother tell me otherwise it’s disturbing and eeeeeewwwww. As I was saying I don’t want to be an actor to be apart of an amazing film and win myself an Oscar, although that would be awesome balls (I literally have to do the cheer AWESOME to help me remember how to spell it… I’ll give you a little snippet if you don’t know how it goes… A W E S O M E, awesome awesome awesome are we! Yeah! let’s got Tigers! Sorry I got a little carried away). The reason I want to be an actor is so that I can be a Hallmark Movie Star! I freaking love all Hallmark Movies especially the holiday ones, those are the best. How did I get to this amazing career choice you ask… Well I was watching a new Hallmark Movie last night and thought I wanna be in a Hallmark Movie and fall in love the way these people fall in love and have it last forever and ever or until the credits roll.

Then later on I figure out that I hate driving, well I’ve known I’ve disliked driving in certain occasions, but the worst part is that if I’m not driving I get car sick! It’s the freaking worst! You’d think I’d be super happy that I don’t have to drive, but then this nauseous feeling comes over me when the car starts moving so then I still have to drive or I’ll throw up all over the place. I remember this one time I had to have my dad pull over because I couldn’t handle it anymore! My mom thinks it’s because when I’m in a car either in the passenger or back seat, my brain automatically clicks into driver mode and my brain doesn’t understand that I’m not the one driving and it’s telling me to stomp on the brake because the person in front of us brake lights are on and the person that’s driving us around is not slowing down and they’re going to hit the car if we don’t STOMP ON THE BRAKE NOW (while my foot is actually stomping on the floor like I actually had a brake there)! So yea that’s what goes on in my head when other people are driving. Maybe that’s why I feel sick or it could be that my brain is trying to tell me that we have telepathic powers and I was trying to control the driver and that is what makes me sick… Me thinks it’s the second one, but who knows. Well Ta Ta for now.

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( 5 days still CALIFORNIA!!!)