Tag: love

The End Of My Youth!

Join me this week as I whine and wallow in my despair. “Why all this sadness?” you ask. Well I’ll be 30 years old and that’s all I’m going to say about that. This week on “I’m Sorry, Que”, we have some fun with “Kiss Me” but Sixpence None The Richer.

Instagram: @lifeasamoon and @em_ily421

Links below to listen!


https://anchor.fm/lifeasamoon
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/life-as-a-moon/id1485767206?uo=4
https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy9mYjhmYmI0L3BvZGNhc3QvcnNz

https://open.spotify.com/show/5yuaE0CsX5MuqHEaDYIjK4

https://www.breaker.audio/life-as-a-moon

https://pca.st/8kxhqus0

https://radiopublic.com/life-as-a-moon-WkXjMM

https://overcast.fm/itunes1485767206/life-as-a-moon

https://radiopublic.com/life-as-a-moon-WkXjMM

Which Song Is The Soundtrack Of Your Life?

This weeks episode I talk about the history of Valentine’s Day, how many people got engaged or married on Valentine’s Day, and what song do you think is the soundtrack of your life? Love by Musiq Soulchild gets its time to shine on “I’m Sorry, Que?”.

Links below to listen to the Podcast!!

https://anchor.fm/lifeasamoon


https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/life-as-a-moon/id1485767206?uo=4


https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy9mYjhmYmI0L3BvZGNhc3QvcnNz

https://open.spotify.com/show/5yuaE0CsX5MuqHEaDYIjK4

https://www.breaker.audio/life-as-a-moon

https://pca.st/8kxhqus0

https://radiopublic.com/life-as-a-moon-WkXjMM

https://overcast.fm/itunes1485767206/life-as-a-moon

https://radiopublic.com/life-as-a-moon-WkXjMM

On My Way To Broadway

This weeks episode I talk about how much I love Derek Jeter and some other stuff. But the Derek Jeter part is the only thing that matters. For “I’m Sorry, Que?” I went with a “Cell Block Tango” from the Broadway musical Chicago.

If you want to listen to this weeks episode it’s up and waiting to infiltrate your life. šŸ˜

Links below:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/life-as-a-moon/id1485767206?uo=4

The World of Online Dating Part 4… I Think.

Oh online dating has struck again. You would think after all these ā€œinterestingā€ conversation Iā€™ve had that I would learn my lesson and give up on this online dating thing. I just canā€™t kick this bad habit. Iā€™m sure people have found love online and all that jazz, but itā€™s just not working out for me. Maybe itā€™s because Iā€™m doing the free dating apps because Iā€™m too broke to actually pay and actually meet someone who isnā€™t cray or likes to send me dick pics on the reg. Is it too much to ask for that first time someone messages you it isnā€™t a shot of their appendage (nah mean).

There is one up side to online dating, and that is it has consistently given me something to talk about. So I guess thereā€™s that. In this segment of The World of Online Dating, we will be introduced to two very special human beings.

First up is a guy who just cut straight to the chase. Please see below so you know what I mean.

I mean I know what a freaking prince! For him to just offer to call me so that I can here him relieve himself to my pictures was something Iā€™ve always dreamed my future hubby would ask me. So precious.

Now for the doser. This guy really did a fucking 180 on me. I thought that this would possibly turn into something fun. Before this incident that you are about to read, we were having a great conversation. I even spoke to this guy on the fšŸŒ™cking phone. I hate talking on the phone. When we spoke on the phone the first time we had a pretty good conversation, keep in mind it was during my lunch and we only had about 15mins to talk so I couldnā€™t fully gage his crazy. Our second phone conversation(in the same day mind you) was on my drive home from work. Donā€™t worry it was through the cars hands free shit, so I was being a safe driver.

I had asked him why he moved to NJ from NC. And thatā€™s when it went to shit. He thought it was rude of people to ask why heā€™s here, when I was just asking out of curiosity because I wouldā€™ve stayed in NC (no offense to Jersey, I love it because I was born and raised here, but if I had the option I would most likely move). So he finally decided that he wanted to tell me about heā€™s reasonings and his last relationship being the main reason for his move. Let me tell you it wasnā€™t all sunshine and rainbows so I understood his need for a change (but Jersey?, thereā€™s 49 other states). At one point during our conversation I was having trouble hearing him so I told him Iā€™d talk to him later because I couldnā€™t hear him. After I hung up I texted saying I really appreciated him telling me about his past (mind you I donā€™t give a flying fuck… which I guess is mean but whatevs). He responded asking me if I was judgmental because he felt that I was because he thought that it was convenient for my phone to start acting up after he told me about his past. I replied apologizing that he felt that way but that I am the least judgmental person, and that I could careless what happened in his past.

So about an hr after that Iā€™m with Sluttie McSlutterson and weā€™re having dinner and he decided to text me. So I told him what I was doing and didnā€™t really reply because I WAS. HAVING. DINNER! So this exchange is what transpired after that. Please read below.

If you don’t know what a double negative is please re-evaluate your life. If I don’t say so myself I was very nice to this guy. I could’ve been a bitch but I reeled it in. Well needless to say I blocked him!

Thatā€™s all for this segment of The World of Online Dating!

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,

Emily (I really should give up on this shit, but I just have some much fun writing about it)

Mama Moon!!

As Lilā€™ Kim would say ā€œI been gone for a minute now Iā€™m back with the jump off…ā€. I know I know Iā€™ve been so freaking inconsistent lately, but I wasnā€™t in the right mind set to write, and Iā€™ll get to that reason next week. BUT!!! I thought today would be the best day for my return! “Why?” you ask. Because any chance I get to talk about my momma is a good day to start writing again! So this post is dedicated to Mama Moon.

First and foremost I want to say Happy Motherā€™s Day to the lady that carried me in her tum tum. There have been times where Iā€™ve written about my mom but what you guys donā€™t know is what an incredibly strong woman she is! Without my mom all of us would be lost! This woman is the key to our survival! Once a year or so my mom has to go away for a couple days for work and when I tell you we donā€™t know what to do with ourselves itā€™s not a joke. My dad would literally just be home sad waiting for my mom to get back. Itā€™s like this man doesnā€™t know how to be a functioning adult man without her.

For me, my mom is my best friend. Sheā€™s the one person I can confide in and I know that she would totally judge the shit out of me but still love me! Honestly I do do some judge worthy shit and I’m cool with it and 95% if the time she’s cool with it too. My mom is my therapist, my doctor, my window shopping buddy that inevitability turns into actual shopping because we canā€™t control ourselves, partner in crime (just know if you ever see me speeding through a yellow light, that itā€™s my mom next to me yelling ā€œGO GO GO GO!ā€), food aficionado and my number 1 fan. You know what the best part about this is, she pays for everything and all I have to do is drive her around… just kidding ok not really she mostly does pay for everythingšŸ˜. But hereā€™s one thing I donā€™t tell her enough (Iā€™m sure this goes out to a lot of us) but Mom you are my fucking super hero and I love you so much! Without you I wouldnā€™t be half the woman I am today. Iā€™m incredibly lucky to have you as my mother and I wouldnā€™t have it any other way!

I love you Mum from the Moon and Back,

Mimi ( your favorite child. Donā€™t worry that other one already knows)

P.S. I also want to thank everyone that has kept reading my blog while Iā€™ve been gone. I really appreciate you. I also have another page solely dedicated to my latest hobby (photography). So if you want to check out my photos the page is called Moon View and hereā€™s the link ( Moon View ).

The List Of Things That Happened To Me Since The Last Time!

Guys so many things happened to me these past two weeks. Oh, where shall I begin. You know what, I havenā€™t done a list in so long I think it is time. I shall call it The list of things that happened to me since the last time. I know thatā€™s kinda long but also perf!

  1. Donā€™t pick up the phone you know heā€™s only calling cause heā€™s drunk and aloneā€¦ sorry I couldnā€™t help myself that song is forever in my head. Any way I got my nails doneā€¦ I know that might not seem like a big deal and thatā€™s because itā€™s not. I just decided to have a little me time and have a nice relaxing nail day where my nail tech (are they called nail techs or just like the lady that does my nails. I donā€™t really know the term.) decided that I didnā€™t need my cuties aka cuticles, and proceeded to zzzzz (thatā€™s the sound the nail filing thing makesā€¦ clearly I did my research on this.) until I bled. Really it was as relaxing as it sounds, but my nails do look cute so I guess pain is beauty.
  2. I decided that I want to cut my hair because its super long (well for me any way because I usually keep my hair short) and I donā€™t want to deal with it. But then at the same time I donā€™t want to cut my hair because I want to see how long Iā€™ll let it grow until I ultimately cut it. So Iā€™m back at square one, nothing getting done… the usual.
  3. I got a new laptop! Which I am currently typing tonights post on which is why its probably going to be super long because Iā€™m usually writing from the bathroom on my phone. Itā€™s where all my best thinking happens. Just so you know I got a MacBook Air. I know moving on up!
  4. I saw Black Panther the weekend it came out and it was the most amazing thing Iā€™ve seen in so long. In my opinion it is the best marvel movie! The storylineā€¦ Amazing! The Villianā€¦ HOT also Amazing! The fact that this movie not only showcased talented black people from the actors to the director, but the fact that the powerful black women were the driving forceā€¦ was fucking MAGICAL! This movie was so good I watched it twice and Iā€™m trying to go watch it again, so whoever wants to go let me know!
  5. This is a big one people! I got a new JOB! I know Iā€™m so excited! For those of you that donā€™t know Iā€™ve been on the job hunt and let me tell you it has not been easy. When I first started looking I told myself that I only wanted to apply for jobs that I would be passionate about. If some of you donā€™t know Iā€™m currently going to school for Creative Writing. So logically I want to be a New York Times Bestselling Author, but apparently one needs to write and wait for it publish a book for that to happen. But never fear Iā€™m in the process of writing a little something something, nah mean jelly bean. I do have a back up career and that is to work in publishing. Just so you know getting a job in publishing is incredibly hardā€¦ honestly getting a job in any field is hard. After a couple of months with no luck, I broaden my scope. I can learn more in whatever field I get into and when I finish my degree and can go back out there and try again. With that being said I start my new job, not in publishing but thatā€™s ok, in two weeks! In the mean time Iā€™ll just keep writing and go with the flow!
  6. Finally, I was asked a very important question last night! A couple of weeks ago I mentioned that two of my slutties got engaged. Well Frover, my most favorite sluttie of all, asked me to be her bridesmaid! AAAAHHHHH! Iā€™m so excited!! She asked in the cutest way! She gave us (her bridesmaids) a wine glass with the question written on it! It was the most beautiful thing. I got teary eyed and everything! Just thinking about it now has my eyes watery! Please enjoy the picture below because I had about an hour-long photo shoot with my glass!

IMG_3476

Well this went on as long as I predicted… god I love this fucking MacBook… I really just like writing MacBook… and just think about it guys I could be writing the next New York Times Bestselling book right here on this MacBook!

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,

Emily (future Bridesmaid! and hopeful New York Times Bestselling Author!)

You Like Me, You Really Really Like Me!

So a couple of you crazy kids reached out and asked if I was coming back and that you missed me! Guys I feel sooo loved, but at the same time youā€™re kinda smothering me… jk jk.. thatā€™s how I usually respond when Iā€™m talking to a guy and he starts calling me babe and telling me he misses me after hanging out one time. It gets weird! But when it comes from one of you fabulous peeps I feel like I want to run away… less, so thatā€™s good. Anywho, a lot of things have happened in the past month! Ok well not a lot… really just two things. But both things are equally interesting. So Iā€™ve been trying to decide if I should do just one big post about it or if each one should get their own. Iā€™ve decided on the latter, because honestly thatā€™s the easiest option and I wonā€™t have to think of what to write next week.

So the last post left off about a week before Christmas. Oh Christmas what a magical time and a time where money just flies out of your bank accounts. Back to the story. Every year my friends and I have a Christmas party where we exchange our secret Santa gifts, play beer pong and just have a jolly ole time. This year was even more special than previous years.

This year… wait for it…. we got to witness a proposal!!! How fšŸŒ™cking magical is that shšŸŒ™t!!! Two of my slutties, Frover and Frenemy, are freaking engaged! These two are the first in our group of friends to get to this stage in their lives. It was pretty amazing to be a part of such a special moment! These two have been together for so long through ups and downs, and now they are taking this next step and I canā€™t be happier for them! Iā€™m not gonna lie Frenemy might have made my eyes leak a little bit with his speech.

If either of you a reading this I just want you both to know that Iā€™m so incredibly happy for you, and I wish you guys the happiest forever. You both deserve it! Love you guys!!

Well thatā€™s enough of the mushy crap.

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,

Emily ( I just want everyone to know that Iā€™m probably the best photographer ever bwuahahaha. P.S. that little reindeer in the back is a scary mofo.)

Just Keep Swimming, Just Keep Swimming!!

So there are moments in my life when extreme boredom takes over and I decide to do random things. In this case I decided to jump back into the online dating pool ( you get the reason for the title… arenā€™t I hilarious and also very Punny). Oooohhh it has been a special one. This time around itā€™s like my profile has been sending all types of vibes and Iā€™ve been getting an interesting mix of guys contacting me. 

Iā€™ve been back in the ā€œsceneā€ for about 3 weeks and Iā€™ve been proposed to several times already. Itā€™s all great and dandy and extremely flattering but when asked if I would poop on you right after said marriage proposal… it doesnā€™t seem quiet as flattering anymore. Itā€™s like this guy was just swiping left until he saw my picture and was like YUP!!! This girl looks like a shšŸŒ™tter!! The funniest part about it is that this guy isnā€™t the only one asking me to take dumps on him, but at least he did propose before hand so thereā€™s that.

One guy just straight out asked me if I took big dumps. Of course I responded with ā€œYEAH!! I take HUGE shšŸŒ™ts!!!ā€ Then he asked if I would shšŸŒ™t on him and I said ā€œwould you like soft served or hardā€… I know I know I even disgusted myself with that response so much that I just blocked him without seeing his response, and honestly Iā€™m a little disappointed in myself that I couldnā€™t last longer with that convo. Just imagine the ammo I wouldā€™ve had. Letā€™s move on.

In the middle of all this poop talk there were some decent guys. One guy is actually from my town letā€™s call him the Town Traitor or T2 for short. After T2 and I figured out that not only do we live in the same town but we actually live in the same vicinity. It was pretty crazy. This is the first time Iā€™ve ever met someone on these dating sites that are from my town that I donā€™t know. Because of that reason I asked if he just moved to our town or if he grew up here, and funnily enough he grew up here!!! This guy even knows one of my cousins!!! In all honesty knowing one of my cousins isnā€™t really a stretch, because Iā€™m pretty sure the majority population of my town are related to me in some capacity. Yes, my family really likes to procreate. Any who I ended up finding out the reason I didnā€™t know this guys was because he went to school in my towns rival town schools!!! I know what a traitor!!! Hence the name. So now it made sense why I never knew this kid before hand.

Something funny happened the other day revolving around T2. When we first started messaging each other we were talking everyday. One day neither of us started a conversation so I decided to be a creep and go on this guys Instagram account and see who else he might know that I would know. Well on my journey of exploration I found out that he doesnā€™t post many pictures, also I found out we have another friend in common. This other friend went to high school with him, but I met the other friend when I went away to school in Connecticut. I know!!! CRAZY SHšŸŒ™T!! Any who so while I was creeping on this guys 5 pictures, I went to the likes to see the people whoā€™ve liked his pictures… and because of my fat fšŸŒ™cking thumb and the fact that I believe Instagram did this on purpose and put the number of likes directly under that fšŸŒ™cking heart shšŸŒ™t, I ended up liking one of his pictures. And NO!!! It wasnā€™t a recent picture, then I wouldnā€™t have felt like such a creep. Mind you his most recent pic is from like April (so either way it wouldā€™ve been creepy). I liked a picture that was from fšŸŒ™cking 2013 or some shšŸŒ™t!!! I KNOW!!!! GASP!!!! THE HORROR!!!! 

So after this happened I went to the dating app and proceeded to delete our messages because I already knew the outcome of this! I looked like a stalker liking a picture from the fšŸŒ™cking ice ages. Beatā€™em to the punch and all that good shit. BUT!!! Luckily enough he either didnā€™t see what I did(obvi he saw it I just wanted to make myself feel better) or he found it flattering in a not stalker way (spoiler alert: extremely stalker way I should probably stop talking to him… what does this say about him… why is he still talking to me) that I would go through is pics and like one of them. Whatever the case is he and I are still messaging each other so I guess he might be the one because he can deal with my crazy or he just might be equally as crazy but much stealthier than I am hence why he didnā€™t like any of my pictures even though he probably goes through my page everyday thinking ā€œgosh Iā€™m so lucky to have met this amazingly awesome unicorn like beingā€.

Well thatā€™s all I have for today… I know what your thinking this one was long as fšŸŒ™ck! 
Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( Iā€™m sorry I made you read so much Iā€™ll never let this happen again!)

The World of Online Dating… round 3!

Tonight is the night is the night is the night!!!(I had a song in my head that sounded disco-y and it said tonight is the night repeatedly… but then I couldn’t remember what came after that so I just tried to google it and I can’t find it… I’m pretty sure I didn’t make this song up, but if I did…I would’ve went triple platinum. THAT is how good it sounded. Anywho back to the reason for the song) GAME OF THRONES IS BACK!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHH!!! I’m so excited!!! Well now that I got that out of my system on to why we are here.

Online dating is a messy, messy, dirty, nasty, horn dog, sluttie cesspool of the not likely going to find “true love” but other not so good things World. So I’ve decided to give those who are brave enough to test those mucky waters some pointers, and of course it shall be in LIST FORM!! (When I said lost form in my head I imagine the words list and form in a muscular bubble version of themselves wearing a cap like a super hero and echoing form, form, form until it faded out… ooo how I crack myself up)

The World of Online Dating… round 3 !

1. Download all those free apps and have yourself a good ole time because FREE is your best friend! 

2. When writing your about me section. Don’t write anything about yourself. What’s the point of getting to know someone of they can read everything about you already. I suggest writing something funny or your favorite quote from a movie. That way when you do get a message from someone you actually have something to talk about. (on one of my many profiles I wrote something along the lines of finding sloths extremely relatable… is it the best quality to put out there NO, but at least they know what they’re getting themselves into). 

3. If you’re going to be the first to initiate contact with… the OTHERS (dun dun duuuuuuun)… start off with something funny. Making people laugh is always a good way to soften them up and TAKE EVERYTHING THEY’VE EVER LOVED FROM THEM!! Just kidding don’t take anything from anyone without asking permission… HAVE SOME GOD DAMN MANNERS!. All joking aside it’s a great ice breaker, and by some crazy chance that person doesn’t respond to you or doesn’t understand your level of funny… tell them GO FšŸŒ™CK YOURSELF NOW YOU’LL NEVER KNOW ALL OF DISSSSSS (pointing at yourself.. it doesn’t matter if they can’t see). Or you can just quietly delete them from your life because they weren’t good enough for you anyway.
4. This one is for the guys… don’t be a dšŸ†ck. When I say dšŸ†ck I mean don’t send a dšŸ†ck pick NOBODY wants to see that, and I also mean don’t be a jerk or crude. It’s like that old saying “if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all”. Also ladies don’t be an šŸ‘hole either… unless the other person starts it then be my guest.
5. Be straightforward tell the person(s) that you’re talking to what you’re looking for. If it’s only for the chitty chitty bang bang, that’s fine just make sure you clearly state that. That also goes for those out there that are looking to get married tomorrow.
6. Finally just have fun…go with the flow you might not meet the love of your life but you’ll learn how to think on your feet and have good come backs for all those pervs out there that are like “so wanna suck my dick”… you can be like ” ooo don’t you need to have one for that to happen” you know something along those lines.
Well there you have it, go do you playa pimp!
Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily (this post should’ve probably been the first one of this series… oooo well to late for that!)

Puppy-Love and Stalkerish Tendencies.

I’m back and creepier than ever. When I say creepier I mean it in the most wonderful way it can possibly sound. You know what Ixnay on the creepier-ay… I could possibly be the next CIA/FBI/Secret Agent/Detective/007, honestly any of those would work that’s how good my (I don’t want to say stalking but if the shoe fits) investigative skills are. I shall give thee a little story on the person you are about to learn about. 

Once upon a time there was a pre-teen (or maybe even teen-teen) and she went by the name of… umm let’s just say she went by the name of… you know what her name was Emily and it was me. Any who this pre-teen/teen-teen met a boy through her neighbor and bestie at the time…we are no longer neighbors nor are we really friends anymore you know how that goes, you get older one of you becomes a little, how you say, sluttie when we were slightly (way) too young for it, so the other one (me) kind of just gradually cuts the sluttie one out of her life. I know I know it was a real shšŸŒ™tty thing to do but I was fucking 14 or some shšŸŒ™t and I didn’t know how to handle it so shut your face and listen to the rest of the story! (We’re still friends in Facebook if that counts)So Emily was introduced to this boy named Garry… his name was Garry with two R’s. So Emily and Garry become really good friends and the best part about this friendship was that his younger cousin lived up the block from her house. They got to hang out all the time and of course Emily fell into puppy love with Garry (with two R’s). This “love” was so serious that practically everyone on the block knew of Emily’s feelings for Garry. As the days went by the kids on the block would play football, tag, manhunt and just hang out on the steps. All of a sudden Garry tells Emily that his family is moving to California. Emily’s little teenager heart was broken she didn’t know how to deal. She had never told Garry that she liked him liked him, so she simply told him that she’d miss him and to keep in touch. 

A year or so passes and Emily is no longer friends with the neighbor that had once been her bestie. Emily is now a freshman (I think) in high school and has somewhat forgotten about her puppy love and is crushing on other boys from her school and some not from her school. One day she had gotten home from I think it was softball practice and she was just hanging out in front of her house eating string cheese, when a boy that looked oddly familiar was walking up the block. Emily just stared at this boy trying to figure out who he was. Meanwhile the boy was also looking at Emily as well. With their eyes locked he continued his trek up the block.

This story is getting really long so what I’m saying is, that boy she saw was Garry and he’d moved back to Jersey and apparently had been back for a while. So Garry and Emily started to hang out again but then his family moved again and I haven’t seen him since. This is where my investigative skills come into play.

While I was awake in the middle of the night (a couple of days ago) when I should’ve been sleeping… something reminded me of Garry (it could’ve been the fact that I was watching SpongeBob and Gary the snail ( šŸŒ) slithered around the pineapple). The next thing I know I’m googling Garry (with two R’s) lo and behold there he was my Garry just 12 years older and still looking a little like J-Boog from B2K (if you don’t know who B2K is… you may leave right NOW!! j/k you can stay just google them so you get the picture). What I found was not something I liked.

Apparently Garry has a family. He has two kids and a girlfriend and lives somewhere that is not New Jersey. So the moral of this story is… don’t go chasing waterfalls please stick to the rivers and the lakes that your used to I know that your gonna have it your way or nothing at all but I think your moving to fast… LISTEN TO MEEEE (sorry I couldn’t help myself and by the way that was waterfalls by TLC if you didn’t know). Anyway moral of the story is you should probably go to sleep at a decent time so you don’t Instagram stalk the kid you were in love with when you were just a wee little lass. You won’t like what you find even though you should be over him because honestly Emily it’s been 12 years since you last saw him what the fšŸŒ™ck did you expect.

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily (once upon a time Mrs. Garry with two R’s)

P.S. Happy Early Independence Day/ 4th of July!!!