“Love Yourself” My New Favorite Saying.

I know I’ve been MIA(no I don’t mean Miami, I mean Missing In Action) but December just isn’t a good month for me. Before I get started with today’s shenanigans I want to let you know that I’ve decided I will only be posting once a week and it will be going up on Sunday Funday. So after this Wednesdays post we will start again on Sunday. I know your super sad about Vino Viernes, but never fear I will still be drinking new wines and letting you know how I feel about them. I figured since Vino Viernes rarely has anything to do with wine, and I honestly don’t even tell you good things about them I might as well just add a snippet on Sundays about my feelings towards whatever wine I’m drinking.

You might or might not be wondering why I’ve decided to post only once, even if you don’t care I’m still gonna tell you. I think I under estimated this whole posting three times a week thing, I’m pulling at straws here thinking of what to write about, so before I completely burn myself out I’m cutting it down. That way I can tell you a weeks worth of shit in one day…FABULOUS!!

On to today’s one topic. If you’ve been living in the outside world you must’ve heard by now that Justin Bieber has come out with some bangers!!! Well if you’ve been living under a rock and this is the first thing you’ve seen in years since Justin Bieber first came on to the scene… I KNOW I wouldn’t believe it myself but home boy has some pretty amazeballz music out right now. Aaaaaaaand me thinks I found my new favorite JB song. It’s calls Love Yourself, and the reason I love this song so much is because Justin in the most beautiful, sweet way is basically telling this person he wrote this song about is to go Fuck Yourself. I know when I first saw the title I thought it was gonna be some go empower yourself song. BUT nope if you listen to the words you know exactly what he means when he says go and “Love” yourself. Here’s a verse so you understand what I mean:
“All the times that you rain on my parade
And all the clubs you get in using my name
You think you broke my heart
Ohhh girl for goodness sake
You think I’m crying
Oh my ohhh, well I ain’t!… (<- the proper use of an ellipsis, because you know I never use that shit right… I just really like these dots) Cause if you like the way you look that much
Ohhhh baby you should go and love yourself
And if you think that I’m still holdin’ on to somethin’
You should go and love yourself
DAMN Biebs!!! Get it!! And I leave you to ponder that.

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( last Monday post… Saddest)

You think you know, But you have no idea.

I just finished watching Caitlyn Jenner’s show on E (I Am Cait), and I’m going to continue to watch this show. I’m not a fan of reality T.V; the only time I ever watch it is if there is nothing else on. This show just hit me in the Corazon (heart) really hard. I think it’s because this show to me feels genuine, sincere, and was able to make me feel so many different emotions I didn’t even know I had, it was incredible. I was able to empathize with her; I went from feeling scared and anxious with her when she was about to introduce her sisters and mother to Caitlyn, to happy for her being able to be who she really is an was her entire life.

While watching this show I started thinking about what she and other transgenders have gone through and are going through. Especially the teenagers, it’s hard enough being a teenager, having to deal with high school and cliques and puberty; on top of all that they are also struggling with who they are mentally, physically and emotionally. I just hope one day everyone can be accepted for they are.I know my life is nothing like Caitlyn Jenner’s life, but this show made me think about my experience. It’s one of the reasons why I loved it so much.

Throughout the show, I started thinking back to when I was a teenager constantly feeling like I lived in my brothers shadow, while struggling to find my place and my voice. I always wanted to please people, but at the same time be myself… I know that’s confusing, but that’s how I felt and sometimes still feel. That’s where I feel l can relate to Jenner. Because I felt like I lived in my brother shadow; I was always trying to be better than him, and to be seen as my own person and not just as Luna’s little sister. There were times where I felt like the only reasons I played sports was to be seen as either an equal or better athlete than my brother ( I felt like that was the only way to be seen at all). A lot of the time I felt like I was in competition with him. In high school I was always compared to my brother (Is she as good a ball player like her brother?… That one was my favorite). There were even times where I thought that my parents cared more about my brother than they did me. When your younger I feel like you only see through one spectrum; you only see what’s happening at that moment, and all these emotions are coming at you in full force. I felt that my parents were much more involved in my brothers sports than they were mine. So of course that lead to me believe that they loved him more. As an adult I can see the other side of things, the reason why it was difficult for my parents to make it to my games ( my games were at 4 pm, while my brothers were at 6pm… My parents were still at work when my games started).

I feel because I know who I am ( well sort of I’m still working on it, but I’m getting there), and because I’m older (I suppose)  I can see things differently… I have a new point of view.

I feel like I just had and MTVs Diary moment; “You think you know, but you have no idea… This is the Diary of Emily.”

Well that’s it for tonight… I know I know my thoughts are all over the place… To bad deal with it!

Lova Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( I say everyone shall watch I Am Cait… You won’t regret it)