Happy Thanksgiving!!!

On this weeks episode I talk about my thanksgiving and that my family and I have decided to start our own home renovation show! In honor of the snow “Baby, it’s cold outside” gets its time on “I’m Sorry, Que”

This podcast is available basically everywhere! Follow me on Instagram: @lifeasamoon and @em_ily421

Follow the links below to get to the podcast!!

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/life-as-a-moon/id1485767206?uo=4

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

On this weeks episode I talk about my thanksgiving and that my family and I have decided to start our own home renovation show! In honor of the snow “Baby, it’s cold outside” gets its time on “I’m Sorry, Que”

This podcast is available basically everywhere! Follow me on Instagram: @lifeasamoon and @em_ily421

Follow the links below to get to the podcast!!

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/life-as-a-moon/id1485767206?uo=4

I’m Sorry, Que?

New episode up right now!!!

This week I talk about how I’m the greatest gift my mother ever received, moving out of my parents house and I completely butcher the song Ella y Yo by Aventura and Don Omar in the Im sorry, Que segment.

Linked below are all the platforms you can find the podcast. I hope you come by and experience life through me. 😂

Anchor:

https://anchor.fm/lifeasamoon

Apple Podcast:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/life-as-a-moon/id1485767206?uo=4

Spotify:

https://open.spotify.com/show/5yuaE0CsX5MuqHEaDYIjK4

Google Podcast:

https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy9mYjhmYmI0L3BvZGNhc3QvcnNz

Breaker:

https://www.breaker.audio/life-as-a-moon

Pocket Cast:

https://pca.st/8kxhqus0

Overcast:

https://overcast.fm/itunes1485767206/life-as-a-moon

New Episode, Who Dis?

New episode up!! Follow the links below!

On this weeks episode I talk about my dick appointment, the new friends I made at Apple and my mom trying to marry me off. “Part of your world” from The Little Mermaid gets it’s time to shine on my segment “I’m Sorry, Que?”. 

Anchor:

https://anchor.fm/lifeasamoon

Apple Podcast:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/life-as-a-moon/id1485767206?uo=4

Spotify:

https://open.spotify.com/show/5yuaE0CsX5MuqHEaDYIjK4

Google Podcast:

https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy9mYjhmYmI0L3BvZGNhc3QvcnNz

Breaker:

https://www.breaker.audio/life-as-a-moon

Pocket Cast:

https://pca.st/8kxhqus0

Overcast:

https://overcast.fm/itunes1485767206/life-as-a-moon

A Change Gon’ Come

As the amazing Sam Cooke would say…”It’s been a looooong, a long time coming but I knooooow a change gon come… oh yes it is.” With that said, I’ve decided to change this blog into a podcast. I know right, I’m super cool. The podcast will keep the same name as the blog and the same format… even though we all know that there is no structure what so ever on this thing. But on the podcast you’ll get to hear my voice. And just like I like to sing on here for you, I will being singing on the podcast as well. Will it be the best singing you’ve ever heard… possibly, I don’t know what kind of singers you listen to. Or will it be the worst singing ever recorded in the world… probably. But you know what I say…Fuck it! I’m gonna did it anyway. 

So, if you would like to follow me into the podcast world (which I would absolutely love) My first episode will be up on Sunday!!!! I haven’t designated a day the episodes will go up, since you know I’m super indecisive, but I’ll figure it out eventually. I’m super excited about this change and also extremely nervous because you know I’ll be singing for reals, but it’s time for me to try something new and this is it! I will be posting the link to the episode here on Sunday, and if you want to know what else may be going on in my life please follow me on Instagram @lifeasamoon.

Well guys this blogging world has been fun. Hope to hear from you on my new podcasting adventure.
Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily (wish me luck 🤞🏽)

Movie Date 101

Hello!! I have returned!! Oh how I’ve missed thee! I was trying to be all Game of Thrones and wait a while before coming back, and I may or may not have wanted to leave some suspense and mystery about my whereabouts. Anywho,It has been a crazy year and I swears I’ll write about it at some point. I can’t just throw it all out there, then what would I have to write about. I decided to come back with a bang, and bring back my favorite… lists! So if you would kindly continue reading on for my criteria on what a potential significant other needs to become a significant other. It’s a working title I’m sure I’ll figure out a good name by the end of this.

1. Must not talk during a movie. I thought that was a relatively simple rule to follow. Even the movie theater tells you in a very nice way to shut the fuck up right before the movie starts. One would think everyone would shut the fuck up….buuuuuuuut that’s not always the case.

2. Must not talk during movie after a person specifically told you that she was really excited to see the movie.

3. Must not attempt to kiss person during the movie she said she really wanted to fucking see.

Ok guys I’m not sure if you see a pattern, but the she I was referring to is me. Here’s the story behind my new potential significant other criteria… honestly it’s more like a guide on how to behave during a Movie date. Ooooo guess what I’m calling this…MOVIE DATE 101.

As I was saying, about a week or so ago I went on a date. Well first you should know that this was a let me give this guy a second chance second date. It wasn’t a OMG I can’t wait to see this guy again second date… you get my drift. So basically this guy already had 1 strike against him and if you didn’t know I’m a former huge baseball fan (ever since Derek Jeter retired I can’t call myself a huge baseball fan anymore, but this is completely unrelated). As I was saying homeboy already had 1 strike against him and in my game there’s no balls ; ok that sounds wrong but if you know baseball you know that there are balls and strikes but I’m not getting into the rules of baseball. Anyway there are only strikes in my game is what I’m trying to say. Holy shit that took way to long for me to get to that point.

So this guy already had 1 strike against him, but I followed my slutties ( if you don’t remember, because I know it’s been a while, Slutties is a term of endearment I call my friends) advice and decided to give this guy a second chance. Our first date wasn’t horrible or anything, I just didn’t feel anything towards this guy. Our second and last date was to go see the movie Yesterday, which I was soooo excited to see because I’m a fan of the Beatles.

Throughout the entire movie this guy, let’s call him Motormouth, wouldn’t shut the fuck up… the. ENTIRE. TIME! For someone like me who thoroughly ( idk why this word just looks like I spelled it wrong but I spelled check and it didn’t correct me so onward we go) enjoy watching movies. I especially wanted to see this movie and I had expressed that fact when we made the plans to go and then again when we got into the theater. So it wasn’t like I only told him once and he forgot! That shit was fresh in his mind! (By the way this was strike numero dos… number 2 for those who may not know Spanish)

His blabbering wasn’t the only problem. In the middle of the movie he attempted to kiss me! KISS! ME!!! Like mofo did you even listen to me when I said I wanted to fucking see this movie! So I literally snuffed his face and told him in a very angry hushed voice (because I have common decency and didn’t want to ruin the movie for other people) NOT! DURING! THE! MOVIE! (I would greatly appreciate it, if you would read this in an angry hushed voice it really brings it home). (For those I’m the back still keeping count that was strike numero trois…(that’s number three for those that don’t know French… don’t worry I had to google translate that) YOU’RE OUT!!!

So in conclusion, don’t fuck with me during a movie I will Heisman the fuck out of you!

Well folks that’s all for today. Oh how I’ve missed our little chats!

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,

Emily (future Heisman Trophy winner)

The World of Online Dating Part 4… I Think.

Oh online dating has struck again. You would think after all these “interesting” conversation I’ve had that I would learn my lesson and give up on this online dating thing. I just can’t kick this bad habit. I’m sure people have found love online and all that jazz, but it’s just not working out for me. Maybe it’s because I’m doing the free dating apps because I’m too broke to actually pay and actually meet someone who isn’t cray or likes to send me dick pics on the reg. Is it too much to ask for that first time someone messages you it isn’t a shot of their appendage (nah mean).

There is one up side to online dating, and that is it has consistently given me something to talk about. So I guess there’s that. In this segment of The World of Online Dating, we will be introduced to two very special human beings.

First up is a guy who just cut straight to the chase. Please see below so you know what I mean.

I mean I know what a freaking prince! For him to just offer to call me so that I can here him relieve himself to my pictures was something I’ve always dreamed my future hubby would ask me. So precious.

Now for the doser. This guy really did a fucking 180 on me. I thought that this would possibly turn into something fun. Before this incident that you are about to read, we were having a great conversation. I even spoke to this guy on the f🌙cking phone. I hate talking on the phone. When we spoke on the phone the first time we had a pretty good conversation, keep in mind it was during my lunch and we only had about 15mins to talk so I couldn’t fully gage his crazy. Our second phone conversation(in the same day mind you) was on my drive home from work. Don’t worry it was through the cars hands free shit, so I was being a safe driver.

I had asked him why he moved to NJ from NC. And that’s when it went to shit. He thought it was rude of people to ask why he’s here, when I was just asking out of curiosity because I would’ve stayed in NC (no offense to Jersey, I love it because I was born and raised here, but if I had the option I would most likely move). So he finally decided that he wanted to tell me about he’s reasonings and his last relationship being the main reason for his move. Let me tell you it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows so I understood his need for a change (but Jersey?, there’s 49 other states). At one point during our conversation I was having trouble hearing him so I told him I’d talk to him later because I couldn’t hear him. After I hung up I texted saying I really appreciated him telling me about his past (mind you I don’t give a flying fuck… which I guess is mean but whatevs). He responded asking me if I was judgmental because he felt that I was because he thought that it was convenient for my phone to start acting up after he told me about his past. I replied apologizing that he felt that way but that I am the least judgmental person, and that I could careless what happened in his past.

So about an hr after that I’m with Sluttie McSlutterson and we’re having dinner and he decided to text me. So I told him what I was doing and didn’t really reply because I WAS. HAVING. DINNER! So this exchange is what transpired after that. Please read below.

If you don’t know what a double negative is please re-evaluate your life. If I don’t say so myself I was very nice to this guy. I could’ve been a bitch but I reeled it in. Well needless to say I blocked him!

That’s all for this segment of The World of Online Dating!

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,

Emily (I really should give up on this shit, but I just have some much fun writing about it)

The List Of Things That Happened To Me Since The Last Time!

Guys so many things happened to me these past two weeks. Oh, where shall I begin. You know what, I haven’t done a list in so long I think it is time. I shall call it The list of things that happened to me since the last time. I know that’s kinda long but also perf!

  1. Don’t pick up the phone you know he’s only calling cause he’s drunk and alone… sorry I couldn’t help myself that song is forever in my head. Any way I got my nails done… I know that might not seem like a big deal and that’s because it’s not. I just decided to have a little me time and have a nice relaxing nail day where my nail tech (are they called nail techs or just like the lady that does my nails. I don’t really know the term.) decided that I didn’t need my cuties aka cuticles, and proceeded to zzzzz (that’s the sound the nail filing thing makes… clearly I did my research on this.) until I bled. Really it was as relaxing as it sounds, but my nails do look cute so I guess pain is beauty.
  2. I decided that I want to cut my hair because its super long (well for me any way because I usually keep my hair short) and I don’t want to deal with it. But then at the same time I don’t want to cut my hair because I want to see how long I’ll let it grow until I ultimately cut it. So I’m back at square one, nothing getting done… the usual.
  3. I got a new laptop! Which I am currently typing tonights post on which is why its probably going to be super long because I’m usually writing from the bathroom on my phone. It’s where all my best thinking happens. Just so you know I got a MacBook Air. I know moving on up!
  4. I saw Black Panther the weekend it came out and it was the most amazing thing I’ve seen in so long. In my opinion it is the best marvel movie! The storyline… Amazing! The Villian… HOT also Amazing! The fact that this movie not only showcased talented black people from the actors to the director, but the fact that the powerful black women were the driving force… was fucking MAGICAL! This movie was so good I watched it twice and I’m trying to go watch it again, so whoever wants to go let me know!
  5. This is a big one people! I got a new JOB! I know I’m so excited! For those of you that don’t know I’ve been on the job hunt and let me tell you it has not been easy. When I first started looking I told myself that I only wanted to apply for jobs that I would be passionate about. If some of you don’t know I’m currently going to school for Creative Writing. So logically I want to be a New York Times Bestselling Author, but apparently one needs to write and wait for it publish a book for that to happen. But never fear I’m in the process of writing a little something something, nah mean jelly bean. I do have a back up career and that is to work in publishing. Just so you know getting a job in publishing is incredibly hard… honestly getting a job in any field is hard. After a couple of months with no luck, I broaden my scope. I can learn more in whatever field I get into and when I finish my degree and can go back out there and try again. With that being said I start my new job, not in publishing but that’s ok, in two weeks! In the mean time I’ll just keep writing and go with the flow!
  6. Finally, I was asked a very important question last night! A couple of weeks ago I mentioned that two of my slutties got engaged. Well Frover, my most favorite sluttie of all, asked me to be her bridesmaid! AAAAHHHHH! I’m so excited!! She asked in the cutest way! She gave us (her bridesmaids) a wine glass with the question written on it! It was the most beautiful thing. I got teary eyed and everything! Just thinking about it now has my eyes watery! Please enjoy the picture below because I had about an hour-long photo shoot with my glass!

IMG_3476

Well this went on as long as I predicted… god I love this fucking MacBook… I really just like writing MacBook… and just think about it guys I could be writing the next New York Times Bestselling book right here on this MacBook!

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,

Emily (future Bridesmaid! and hopeful New York Times Bestselling Author!)

Where Did My Brain Go?

I’ve done some incredibly nerve-wrecking things and have had some pretty nerve induced moments in my life, but the nervousness I went through last week was insurmountable. Before I get to the shit show that went down last week let me be incredibly modest and just write about all the magnificent things that have happened in my life. It all started when my mom found out she was pregnant with the most magical being to ever exist… ok you don’t need to know that let’s just fast forward through my incredible existence. 

So, I’ve played sports throughout my life and there have been some nail biting moments then, buuuuut I’ve still done more hand shaking hyperventilating type things. I’ve auditioned for multiple singing competitions. “But Emily, why would that make you nervous? You seem like a pocket full of sunshine and merry-go-rounds, and you would never be nervous for anything.” Well I really appreciate the vote of confidence you have in me, but I actually have something called “Le stage fright”. I know right… ME…having stage fright…. impossible. Negator…extremely possible. When it comes to singing in front of people (doesn’t matter if I know them or not) I have some trouble. The only way I can sing in front of anyone and it doesn’t bother me is if we are related (because you can’t get rid of me I will always be a part of your family… bwuahahahaha) or if I’m really close to you. Ooo also I’ll sing to you if you sing with me… I love doing that!. Anywho so yes I’ve auditioned for American Idol, The Voice (*cough* several times *cough*) and X-Factor. 

After all of that I never thought I would be as nervous as I was then. Oooo but was I wrong! Last week I had to do a video interview for this job I applied for. I know right… super fancy! I thought everything was going to be fine I’ve had experience interviewing before, yes it was my first time doing a video interview but honestly how bad can it be. LET ME TELL YOU… it can go horribly horrendously wrong! Once that little light on my laptop went on letting me know the recording had commenced… my whole body froze! When I say my whole body I mean even my fucking brain!!! It’s like I forgot every word I’ve ever learned in my 27 years of life. I’m pretty sure I forgot my name… actually no that was the only thing I remembered because I introduced myself even though they never asked. Eventually I got over my stupor, but it didn’t get any better. I was so nervous that my hands were shaking and I’m pretty sure I was sweating profusely. All in all it wasn’t great…. possibly the worse experience of my life to date. 

Well I must sleep now because after reliving that interview my nerves are shot.

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,Emily (if you were wondering I didn’t get a second interview… Momma always told me… you win some, you lose some and sometimes you ruin your own life… just kidding, she didn’t say that I made that up.)