Does My Face Say… “Hi, I’m Your Therapist”

This weeks episode I talk about my surprise visitor, memorable interactions with people and why randos feel the need to tell me everything that’s ever happened to them. Wannabe by the Spice Girls makes an appearance on “I’m Sorry, Que?”.

Come listen, links below!

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/life-as-a-moon/id1485767206?uo=4

WTF is Docking?!?

On the first episode of 2020 I talk about Docking, Dating and what this year has to offer. “It Had To Be You” by Marion Harris makes its “I’m Sorry, Que?” debut.

The podcast is available on Anchor, Apple Podcast, Spotify, Google Podcast, Breaker, Overcast, PocketCasts and Radio Public! There are so many options to go listen! Below are the links to go listen!!

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/life-as-a-moon/id1485767206?uo=4

Happy Christmas Eve, Eve

On this episode I talk about my weekend shenanigans, Drunk Shakespeare and how I was disrespected by my own father. Santa Claus is Coming to Town gets its time on “I’m Sorry, Que”

Check out the blog at https://lifeasamoon.com 

Follow me on Instagram: @lifeasamoon and @em_ily421

 

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/life-as-a-moon/id1485767206?uo=4

“Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy”

New episode up right now!

On this episode I talk about my trip to Texas and some other shit. Big and Rich’s “Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy” gets its time on “I’m Sorry, Que”

If you i don’t know want to listen or follow me on Instagram below are the links to listen and my Instgrams

@Lifeasamoon and @em_ily421

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/life-as-a-moon/id1485767206?uo=4

Why Are You So Paranoid?

New episode up right now!!

On this weeks episode I talk about my paranoia and what triggered it. The Dreams “Shawty is a ten” get its 15 mins on “I’m Sorry, Que?”

If you wanted to listen or something I wouldn’t mind. The podcast is available on Anchor, Spotify, Apple Podcast and many mores just follow any of the links below. Also follow me on Instagram @lifeasamoon and @em_ily421

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/life-as-a-moon/id1485767206?uo=4

I’m Sorry, Que?

New episode up right now!!!

This week I talk about how I’m the greatest gift my mother ever received, moving out of my parents house and I completely butcher the song Ella y Yo by Aventura and Don Omar in the Im sorry, Que segment.

Linked below are all the platforms you can find the podcast. I hope you come by and experience life through me. 😂

Anchor:

https://anchor.fm/lifeasamoon

Apple Podcast:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/life-as-a-moon/id1485767206?uo=4

Spotify:

https://open.spotify.com/show/5yuaE0CsX5MuqHEaDYIjK4

Google Podcast:

https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy9mYjhmYmI0L3BvZGNhc3QvcnNz

Breaker:

https://www.breaker.audio/life-as-a-moon

Pocket Cast:

https://pca.st/8kxhqus0

Overcast:

https://overcast.fm/itunes1485767206/life-as-a-moon

Movie Date 101

Hello!! I have returned!! Oh how I’ve missed thee! I was trying to be all Game of Thrones and wait a while before coming back, and I may or may not have wanted to leave some suspense and mystery about my whereabouts. Anywho,It has been a crazy year and I swears I’ll write about it at some point. I can’t just throw it all out there, then what would I have to write about. I decided to come back with a bang, and bring back my favorite… lists! So if you would kindly continue reading on for my criteria on what a potential significant other needs to become a significant other. It’s a working title I’m sure I’ll figure out a good name by the end of this.

1. Must not talk during a movie. I thought that was a relatively simple rule to follow. Even the movie theater tells you in a very nice way to shut the fuck up right before the movie starts. One would think everyone would shut the fuck up….buuuuuuuut that’s not always the case.

2. Must not talk during movie after a person specifically told you that she was really excited to see the movie.

3. Must not attempt to kiss person during the movie she said she really wanted to fucking see.

Ok guys I’m not sure if you see a pattern, but the she I was referring to is me. Here’s the story behind my new potential significant other criteria… honestly it’s more like a guide on how to behave during a Movie date. Ooooo guess what I’m calling this…MOVIE DATE 101.

As I was saying, about a week or so ago I went on a date. Well first you should know that this was a let me give this guy a second chance second date. It wasn’t a OMG I can’t wait to see this guy again second date… you get my drift. So basically this guy already had 1 strike against him and if you didn’t know I’m a former huge baseball fan (ever since Derek Jeter retired I can’t call myself a huge baseball fan anymore, but this is completely unrelated). As I was saying homeboy already had 1 strike against him and in my game there’s no balls ; ok that sounds wrong but if you know baseball you know that there are balls and strikes but I’m not getting into the rules of baseball. Anyway there are only strikes in my game is what I’m trying to say. Holy shit that took way to long for me to get to that point.

So this guy already had 1 strike against him, but I followed my slutties ( if you don’t remember, because I know it’s been a while, Slutties is a term of endearment I call my friends) advice and decided to give this guy a second chance. Our first date wasn’t horrible or anything, I just didn’t feel anything towards this guy. Our second and last date was to go see the movie Yesterday, which I was soooo excited to see because I’m a fan of the Beatles.

Throughout the entire movie this guy, let’s call him Motormouth, wouldn’t shut the fuck up… the. ENTIRE. TIME! For someone like me who thoroughly ( idk why this word just looks like I spelled it wrong but I spelled check and it didn’t correct me so onward we go) enjoy watching movies. I especially wanted to see this movie and I had expressed that fact when we made the plans to go and then again when we got into the theater. So it wasn’t like I only told him once and he forgot! That shit was fresh in his mind! (By the way this was strike numero dos… number 2 for those who may not know Spanish)

His blabbering wasn’t the only problem. In the middle of the movie he attempted to kiss me! KISS! ME!!! Like mofo did you even listen to me when I said I wanted to fucking see this movie! So I literally snuffed his face and told him in a very angry hushed voice (because I have common decency and didn’t want to ruin the movie for other people) NOT! DURING! THE! MOVIE! (I would greatly appreciate it, if you would read this in an angry hushed voice it really brings it home). (For those I’m the back still keeping count that was strike numero trois…(that’s number three for those that don’t know French… don’t worry I had to google translate that) YOU’RE OUT!!!

So in conclusion, don’t fuck with me during a movie I will Heisman the fuck out of you!

Well folks that’s all for today. Oh how I’ve missed our little chats!

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,

Emily (future Heisman Trophy winner)

End Of A Chapter, Start Of A New!!

I mentioned a couple weeks ago that I got a new job. Well the time has come! I start said new job tomorrow. I have a little secret… I’m extremely nervous! Before I start blabbing in about this new job , let me fill you in on the last two and half weeks of my previous job.

So the last two weeks of my previous job started off exciting turned into nerves which quickly changed into vomiting flipped back to nerves after I handed in my resignation letter (which I don’t mean to toot my own own but… toot toot… was hands down the most amazing thing I’ve ever written in a workplace capacity. It had genuine gratitude, heartfelt thanks and a whole lot of bullshit)nerves turned to gratitude back to vomiting then ultimately me calling my mom crying because the vomiting wasn’t from nerves like I had originally thought, but from either a stomach bug or food poisoning ( I say food poisoning but my mom says differently) and my mom having to pick me up from work and drop me off at home and all this happened between 3pm Tuesday afternoon and 9:30am Wednesday (just to be clear I would like everyone to read that without taking a breath hence the no commas nah mean jelly bean… I feel like you’ll really feel what I went through). After I got home I mostly slept, ran to the bathroom, drank Gatorade and Ginger-ale and repeat. Yes a lot went on in those first 48hrs (I say 48hrs because I ended up calling out sick the next day)of my last two weeks at my last job.

Let’s fast forward to this past Wednesday, my last day at my previous job! My last day was bitter sweet. It was filled with a mix of excitement, joy, nerves, a little sadness and of course food and lots of turtles. I’m most definitely going to miss the friends I made and the fun times that were had, but I’m very happy to be starting a new chapter in my life. It was just time for me to move on and after all the slightly guilt inducing sadness from my former coworkers they were genuinely happy for me and wanted me to become great and obviously never forget them. Which I never will and even though none of them read this I just want to thank them for everything they taught me and especially for treating me like family and taking care of me when I needed it.

Now tomorrow is the start to this new chapter, and as I said before I’m very nervous. I know you might think I’m lying, but I’m a very shy person. It’s only after I feel comfortable enough to fart in front of you that my crazy shows… joking I shan’t fart in front of these new people any time soon … I’m pretty sure they’re mostly men and that takes at least a year till I become that comfortable if ever. All jokes aside meeting new people and having to learn something new is nerve wracking. The part that gets me the most is having to learn new names… I AM HORRIBLE WITH NAMES AND FACES! It’s gonna be bad. Well that’s all for now. Wish me luck. 🤞🏽

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,

Nervous Nelly I mean… Emily (by the way from what I know as if right now, there is one British man that works in this office. I know I’m freaking out 😱)

Holy Harry Potter World

I was supposed to post this last week, but let’s be serious there was a Justin Timberlake concert I had to prep for. For those of you that don’t know what I’m talking about… last Sunday was the Super Bowl and JT was the half-time show performer. So I had to mentally prepare myself all day. So let us begin where we left off.

After finally arriving in Orlando after the deathly mission Slutty Mcslutterson and I had to accomplish, we just relaxed that day. We had originally planned on getting to FL on Thursday night and then go to Universal Friday and then on Saturday just hang out around our hotel buying souvenirs and all that touristy sh🌙t. Because of the little mishap we had everything was moved around. Since we arrived on Friday morning we decided to just hang out do some tourist sh🌙t, drink and get tattoos. You know the normal things you do when one goes on a trip. You might be wondering how this whole get “a tattoo” thing happened, when a week before we went on our trip Mcslutterson and I had gotten tattoos (I’m pretty sure I have pictures of them on my Instagram @lifeasamoon…yes that was a shameless plug).

This new tattoo came about when Mcslutterson and I were walking around Old Town(Old Town is a promenade of sorts that also has a mini carnival). Anywho, Mcslutterson had mentioned getting tattoos (which she does every trip we go on) and I told her “I’m down” (which I tell her every time she mentions it). So, while walking in Old Town we saw the tattoo shop Mcslutterson had found on le google. We went into the shop and our plan was if it’s not too expensive we’re gonna get tats. Lo and behold, we got new tats later that night.

Now it is Saturday and we are in Universal. Mind you I’ve never been to Universal so I’m fully tourist-ing out. I’m taking pictures of everything and staring up at all the attractions and mentally asking myself… “how the f🌙ck?”. When we got to the Harry Potter attraction I was f🌙cking blown away!! Full disclosure I was never a super potter head. I watched the movies but I never got super into them. Before this trip Mcslutterson demanded that I’d watch all the movies, so the Harry Potter universe was fresh in my mind. I was in f🌙cking awe at how detailed everything was. I felt like I was transported to Hogsmeade and Hogwarts. It was f🌙cking magical!!! The more we explored Harry Potter world the more I fell in love with it all! What really pushed me over to becoming a Potterhead was the ButterBeer! Holy crapola that was the most delicious drink I’ve ever drunk in my life!

If you ever get a change to go to Universal,The Wizarding World of Harry Potter is the place to be! Well that’s all for this muggle.

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,

Emily (ooo also I found out that I’m House Hufflepuff! YAAAAAASSSSS!)

P.S. pictures of trip will be on my instagram @lifeasamoon. But here’s a little sneak peek.

Living On The Edge!

Even though tonight are the GRAMMYs I am still writing! Look how dedicated I am. Also I might or might not be watching the GRAMMYs and I just remembered that I needed to post something. Anyway, let’s pick up where I left off last week. So last week I wrote about the magical proposal. This week I’m writing about the most adventure-ist (I know it’s not a word but it should be it really, just wraps the whole shebang.)

This all started a few months ago when Slutty Mcslutterson group texted us (when I say us I mean my group of very sluttie friends) and said that she wanted to go Harry Potter Christmas in Universal for her Birthday. I told her that I would go because 1. I’ve never been to Universal and 2. I fucking love Christmas! Our other friends couldn’t make it so it ended up just being us two. Ironically we might’ve started our own little Birthday vacation tradition that I like to call BIRTHACATION! Our first Birthacation was for my bday two years ago where we went to the Dominican Republic. That’s a whole other story that I might’ve already wrote about so go back to around April 2016.

Any who, fast forward to January 1, 2018. We’ve been checking the weather because we live in New Jersey and it’s winter so you never know what’s gonna happen. When I first checked in the beginning of the week my weather app said there was no snow for the day of our flight which was for Jan 4th. So we were in the clear… or so we thought. It is now Jan 3rd and Slutty Mcslutterson calls me to tell me that our flight has been cancelled due to inclement weather! Of course with our luck this f🌙cking Winter Storm Greyson decides to not only hit the Northern East Coast, but decides to drop some of his snowy shit practically up and down the whole coast. It f🌙cking snowed in northern Florida!! Mind you it wasn’t a lot but still Florida is where we were headed… I digress.

Being the besteat friend ever!!! People I’m telling you I basically won and will continue to hold the title of Bestest Most AWESOMEST Friend in the WORLD OF WORLDS. So Wednesday night before our trip, that we weren’t even sure we were going to be able to go on anymore because all flights at this point were being cancelled in all of the Tristate area. Mcslutterson and I start looking for alternate ways to get to Florida! I looked at possible trains that would takes us. We tried to look for other flights in our area that were still flying out. We tried everything we could think of and it wasn’t looking good for us.

So while Mcslutterson was calling the airline to see what we could do, I continued to look at flights, and lo and behold I found a flight only problem is it was flying out of Pittsburgh, PA. For those of you that don’t know Pittsburgh is near Ohio, Ohio is on the western side of Pennsylvania, I live on the eastern side of Pennsylvania (my town is literally across from Manhattan). Basically what I’m trying to tell you is it’s about a 7 hr drive from us. I was completely willing to drive this distance because we couldn’t fly for obvious reasons. And being the good friend that I am I wanted Mcslutterson to have a f🌙cking great birthday and I also wanted to go to f🌙cking Universal! I’ve never been there people, so I might’ve done it for slightly selfish reasons(it’s a very small percent though, it was mostly for Mcslutterson).

Thank the gods above, we were able to switch our flight to Pittsburgh with no extra charge and also get a room in Pittsburgh, since we weren’t flying out till Friday morning, practically for free because Slutty used her points to hook us up(remember all this shit happened Wednesday).

Thursday finally comes and winter storm Greyson was no f🌙cking joke (side note I was planning on naming my future son Greyson and now I think I might name him GrAyson instead! Bwuahahaha get it I just changed the letter. I’m still naming my future son Grayson. So future baby daddy but hopefully husband our sons name will be Grayson. I don’t care what you have to say he will already be getting your last name so I call shotty on the first name!). So the snow was really freaking bad. What would’ve taken us about 7hrs took us almost 10. Which in all honesty is pretty good to me because you know we lived after our parents were like “WHAT THE F🌙CK IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO… ARE YOU TRYING TO GET YOURSELVES KILLED”. All I have to say is that we like to live on the edge… and also NEVER and I mean NEVER drive any amount of distance in a f🌙cking snowstorm let alone to f🌙cking Pittsburgh! That’s shit is dangerous!

Well we lived and I will be writing about our Universal experience next week. This one already got too long and I still have to reread this for errors and sh🌙t nah mean!

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,

Emily (there were a lot of things I left out but honestly it was exhausting just reliving that day again.)