The List Of Things That Happened To Me Since The Last Time!

Guys so many things happened to me these past two weeks. Oh, where shall I begin. You know what, I haven’t done a list in so long I think it is time. I shall call it The list of things that happened to me since the last time. I know that’s kinda long but also perf!

  1. Don’t pick up the phone you know he’s only calling cause he’s drunk and alone… sorry I couldn’t help myself that song is forever in my head. Any way I got my nails done… I know that might not seem like a big deal and that’s because it’s not. I just decided to have a little me time and have a nice relaxing nail day where my nail tech (are they called nail techs or just like the lady that does my nails. I don’t really know the term.) decided that I didn’t need my cuties aka cuticles, and proceeded to zzzzz (that’s the sound the nail filing thing makes… clearly I did my research on this.) until I bled. Really it was as relaxing as it sounds, but my nails do look cute so I guess pain is beauty.
  2. I decided that I want to cut my hair because its super long (well for me any way because I usually keep my hair short) and I don’t want to deal with it. But then at the same time I don’t want to cut my hair because I want to see how long I’ll let it grow until I ultimately cut it. So I’m back at square one, nothing getting done… the usual.
  3. I got a new laptop! Which I am currently typing tonights post on which is why its probably going to be super long because I’m usually writing from the bathroom on my phone. It’s where all my best thinking happens. Just so you know I got a MacBook Air. I know moving on up!
  4. I saw Black Panther the weekend it came out and it was the most amazing thing I’ve seen in so long. In my opinion it is the best marvel movie! The storyline… Amazing! The Villian… HOT also Amazing! The fact that this movie not only showcased talented black people from the actors to the director, but the fact that the powerful black women were the driving force… was fucking MAGICAL! This movie was so good I watched it twice and I’m trying to go watch it again, so whoever wants to go let me know!
  5. This is a big one people! I got a new JOB! I know I’m so excited! For those of you that don’t know I’ve been on the job hunt and let me tell you it has not been easy. When I first started looking I told myself that I only wanted to apply for jobs that I would be passionate about. If some of you don’t know I’m currently going to school for Creative Writing. So logically I want to be a New York Times Bestselling Author, but apparently one needs to write and wait for it publish a book for that to happen. But never fear I’m in the process of writing a little something something, nah mean jelly bean. I do have a back up career and that is to work in publishing. Just so you know getting a job in publishing is incredibly hard… honestly getting a job in any field is hard. After a couple of months with no luck, I broaden my scope. I can learn more in whatever field I get into and when I finish my degree and can go back out there and try again. With that being said I start my new job, not in publishing but that’s ok, in two weeks! In the mean time I’ll just keep writing and go with the flow!
  6. Finally, I was asked a very important question last night! A couple of weeks ago I mentioned that two of my slutties got engaged. Well Frover, my most favorite sluttie of all, asked me to be her bridesmaid! AAAAHHHHH! I’m so excited!! She asked in the cutest way! She gave us (her bridesmaids) a wine glass with the question written on it! It was the most beautiful thing. I got teary eyed and everything! Just thinking about it now has my eyes watery! Please enjoy the picture below because I had about an hour-long photo shoot with my glass!


Well this went on as long as I predicted… god I love this fucking MacBook… I really just like writing MacBook… and just think about it guys I could be writing the next New York Times Bestselling book right here on this MacBook!

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,

Emily (future Bridesmaid! and hopeful New York Times Bestselling Author!)

Splinterz and Friendships

Today after one of the characters in the book I was reading got a splinter, I started thinking of the thousands of times I’ve gotten splinters. My parents used to tell me if I didn’t get the splinter out right away it would gradually make its way through my body and eventually get to my heart and kill me. Till this day I still don’t know if that’s true because I was too scared to ever test the theory. What if I left that splinter in for to long and it would get sucked into my blood stream and jab me in the heart when I was least expecting it! That was some scary shit. So if anybody gets a splinter please leave it in and let me know what happens…If I don’t hear from you I’m sorry our experiment has failed, but know that you did it for the greater good aaaaaand for me because I’m way too chicken shit to try.

On to our next topic… A tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme… Beauty and The Beast. Sorry I get distracted very easily. What I was trying to say is our topic is about that question everyone is asking in the world of worlds! Can a woman and a man be “just friends” or would someone mess shit up and catch feelings? People I did freaking research for this shit! Okay it wasn’t research exactly I just asked my coworkers and friends what their views were on this topic. I got some mixed feelings! From my Home girls, my Slutties, my Bitches and hoes this is what they had to say: “I fuck all my guy friends I’m no help” -Big Booty Judy, “of course they can be friends… Keep those feelings to yourself, bro-cha-cho” -Frover, “only if the guy is uglier than you” -Big Booty Judy, and then Sluttie Mcslutterson gave me like a paragraph of poop! So clearly my friends are super helpful! The ONLY guy friend that answered me (I shall come after those other mofos that didn’t… Watch your backs!!) had some solid points. He said that on some level your somewhat attracted to all your friends girl or guy because you find something in them that you like and want to be around.

Now some of my coworkers were like nah man I don’t think it’s possible for men and woman to be just friends. At some point one of both would find themselves sexually attracted to the other and then go Bowchikawowwow, go do the nasty, get some sexy time in! I might have paraphrased, don’t judge!

Here’s my take on this topic. I think it’s completely possible to be just friends. My guy best friend… Let’s call him Worst Best Friend Ever… and I have been friends since like 6th grade and I have never had any kind of romantical feelings towards him or him to me! He’s just my bestie!! My mind compartmentalizes for me: the guys that I like I don’t consider them friends they are simply crushes in my mind, and the guys that are my friends are just my friends. That way no line gets crossed from friendship to sexship or relationships (that word gives me the heebie-jeebies). There you have it people after all my research my brain has solved it all on its own! Damn my brain is Amazing! All you have to do is put shit in its place and don’t let it move from them!! Super easy!!!

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily (I think I have commitment issues and I don’t know why… Weird.)

Ps. The moral of the story is keep your feelings to yourself you big baby!