Vino Viernes!!

So what had happened on Wednesday went down like this. On my way home from work I told my self I was going to eat dinner real quick then take a quick power nap. It was all supposed to be fast. The next thing I know my first of five alarms went off and so yea what I’m saying is that I totally fell sleep on Wednesday hence why I didn’t post anything. I told my self ill just do a quick post on Thursday buuuuuuut I was like nah I’m not going to mess up my rotation. Now on to the main events…Wine, Vino, Du Vin. Todays wine is Barefoots Merlot, I cant remember if I’ve already tried this one but I’m alittle on the broke side and this was the only thing that was in my house soooo Merlot it is…and please its pronounced Mer-Lot, okay thanks. This is another dry wine, and this one has an actual grapey taste, I know wine is basically smooshed grapes’ (this apostrophe was the only way Microsoft Word would let me leave my incorrect sentence structure…so the apostrophe must stay) by people’s nasty ass feet. I might just be talking caca because I put a generous amount of Sprite in my glass before I even took a sip of the wine. I am THE worst wine drinker ever!

I’m going to give you a recap of the past week. I realized on Sunday that it was both a good and bad idea watching San Andreas two weeks (at the time of this thought…it is now one week till California…yay!!) before going to Cali. The bad reason is because I scared the shit out of myself, like why would I do that to myself I’m such an asshole. The good reason is I now have somewhat of an idea on what I should do to survive some shit like that. For example I should get to higher ground, find land lines to call my dad and let him know that I got out of a car in an underground parking garage because of the British boy and his younger brother that I befriended (when I say befriend I mean fall in love… obvi), don’t trust Mr. Fantastic because he’s not going to help you out of said car, stay away from falling glass and light poles, and watch out for big ass holes that might swallow you; the most important one is I really have to get my holding my breath underwater for a really long ass time game up. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson you taught me well, my mom can now rest easy. By the way if you didn’t see the movie you probably shouldn’t read this paragraph there are a lot of spoilers… just saying.

On Tuesday I realized a lot of things the first one is that it only takes me about 8 songs to get to work, but that’s only on those extremely lucky no traffic days. Secondly, McDonalds McfingGriddles are super addicting, only get one if you have enough self control to not buy one every day for a week in a half for breakfast…clearly I failed on this one, so now I have to find a completely different way to work without passing by McDs (which is hard because it’s a block away from my job). Also, I use the little microphone button on my phone to help me spell all the time. Lastly, every time I get a glance at my shadow I’m always like “damn girl your eyelashes are long as hell”, but then I look in the Mirror and I’m like “But where did you go?”

Wednesday morning I was listening to Elvis Duran and the Morning Show and they were talking about when they went crazy town on people for the stupidest/smallest reasons. I automatically thought of the time I flipped out on my brother for taking my phone charger. I rarely get mad and I don’t count road rage as getting mad because honestly when you sit behind the wheel you become a psychopath, but one of the people that can get me so angry at the drop of a hat is my brother. The day I went text crazy on him was already a bad day for me and for me to come home with my phone on 10% battery life and no charger in sight I just lost it. I texted him everything in the book that I know would piss him off. I know it was stupid that it was just a charger, but when your already having a shitty day the smallest thing pushes you over the edge. This is a warning for all you brothers out there with sisters, we remember everything and I mean EVERYTHING, and when you least expect it we will (as Dane Cook likes to say) mind ninja the shit out of you. On that note I say good day.

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,

Emily (don’t mess with your sisters…shit will get deadly!)

Randomness of the Noggin!

So tonight’s post is a collection of random stuff that has occurred in the past two days. I shall write them in order of when each thought popped into my noggin. Since of course I love making lists and will find any reason to make one I shall give thee one now. I call this list Randomness of the Noggin (before I start the list I want to let everyone know that I have THE worst handwriting ever I don’t understand half the shit I wrote… Why did I write this down 1st, you ask?… IDK)

Here is my list:
1. Yesterday on the way home from work I got stuck behind the train. The first thing that popped into my head was a scene of me running on top of a moving train; like in all action movies ever, and of course that part when Joey Fatone and Chris Kirpatrick ran away from that crazy chick in the Bye Bye Bye video… Classic.

2. Have you ever wanted aliens to take over the world, or even for there to be a zombie apocalypse so you wouldn’t have to pay your bills anymore. Sigh, that would be the life. I think I would be a magnificent alien slave or badass zombie, just saying.

3. When I was younger I had cut my lip open and I had to get stitches…Because you know I was an angel as a child. Yesterday my mom asked me if you could still see the scar from where I got stitches and ever since I’ve been having phantom stitches pain, thanks mom!

4. Outback has the most Delish bread ever!!! I love it!

5. Newest musical obsession is Alessia Cara! I’ve heard her song “Here” on the radio a couple of times but I was never able to get her name or the name of the song… Until yesterday when I heard her on Elvis Duran and the Morning show. I already loved her song, but after hearing her sing “Here” live and acoustic on the radio I completely fell in love! As soon as I got to work I bought her EP, which is called Four Pink Walls-EP! Everyone must get it! She’s amazing!!!!

6. Finally, this new Instagram DM confused the shit out of me. Frover sent a DM to me and the rest of the Slutties and when I opened it I thought I was in a group chat… Confusions.

Alright, alright it’s about that time. I say good day!

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily (by the way my hand cramped up at least 6 times while I was writing this. Just so you know I was physically hurt why writing tonight’s post.)

Rest in Peace to the greatest catcher in pinstripes Yogi Berra. “If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.” -Yogi Berra