I survived!!!! I will survive for as long as I know how to love I know I’ll stay alive… sorry I couldn’t help myself I love to burst into song and dance, I swear I should have been a part of Glee or something. The only reason I ever wanted to be a Disney Princess was just so I can randomly sing and no one would even look twice. If I did that now in my non-musical life people would look at me like I’m crazy or on drugs; I already get strange looks when I’m singing in the comfort of my own car…is there no respect any more!!! Oh so you know how some people…okay maybe I shouldn’t say people, let me rephrase that, so I sometimes…okay you caught me again… I ALWAYS wish my life were like the movies I watch. When ever I come out of a movie theatre (this is the correct way to spell it people!!!) I always tell my friends “yoo I could totally be an assassin, a race car driver, a secret spy, a princess… you know basically what ever I just watched gosh DON’T JUDGE ME!!
Any way, what I was saying before I rudely interrupted my self is that, either my Mum didn’t read what I wrote on Friday (you know my underage drinking) or she has chosen to Let it Go (Let it Go, can’t hold it back any more) as Queen Elsa would sing (by the way my mum hates this song…bwuhahahaha…yes t’was my evil laugh). Because I’M ALIVE!!!!! I’M ALIVE!!!
Sooooo this weekend was THE most eventful weekend I’ve had in a long ass time. I know, I know most of you must think that I lead a very exciting, adventurous and extravagant life. WRONG!! It’s just the opposite actually, the most risk-taking thing I do is let Max from Netflix (get the MAX from Netfliiiiix ooooo…that’s one of the jingles they have…it makes me laugh) pick out what I’m going to watch next. OMG Scandalous, I know. But this weekend was different, my super sluttie friends and I went to see a show in NYC on Saturday!!! IT. WAS. AMAZEBALLZ. The show was about the not so happily ever after of the Disney Princesses. I was ROTFL the whole time (that was rolling on the floor laughing, for those who aren’t text lingo savvy…your welcome). My friends and I all found our Princess soul mate on that stage. I was Mulan, Frover was Snow White, Big Booty Judy was Sleeping Beauty, Boobielicious was Rapunzel, Ditzy Doodle (by the way she did NOT like this name..bwuhahahaha) was Cinderella, Slutty McSlutterson was Belle, and Mamasita was The Little Mermaid. If you ever get a chance you should definitely go see this, its called Disenchanted, and I promise you you’ll have an amazing time.
So I came face to face with my arch nemesis this weekend…duh duh duuuuuh (thanks Tim that was B.E.A UTIFUL…give a round of applause for Tim my pianist…HAAAAA Pianist… sorry but that shit cracks me up) As I was saying….my arch nemesis…duh duh duuuuuuh….NUTELLA!!! I went to breakfast sunday morning with two of my slutties (Slutty McSlutterson and Boobielicious) and McSlutterson decides she wants to get the Banana (this shit is bananas B.A.N.A.N.A.S) and Nutella crepe. I felt betrayed, how dare Mcslutterson order that bitch in front of me after everything that whorish Nutella did to me; that was until I tasted it…all I gots to say is…..DAAAAAYUMMM that was Deeeeelish. Of course I never let my slutties see how Nutella affected me (well until now), but hey Nutella… Call me!
Love Ya From the Moon and back,
Emily (Secret, not so secret anymore, Nutella lover)
P.S. I finally did my eyebrows this weekend YAAAASSSS… CUZ damn they almost became one brow.