On My Way To Broadway

This weeks episode I talk about how much I love Derek Jeter and some other stuff. But the Derek Jeter part is the only thing that matters. For “I’m Sorry, Que?” I went with a “Cell Block Tango” from the Broadway musical Chicago.

If you want to listen to this weeks episode it’s up and waiting to infiltrate your life. 😁

Links below:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/life-as-a-moon/id1485767206?uo=4

Movie Date 101

Hello!! I have returned!! Oh how I’ve missed thee! I was trying to be all Game of Thrones and wait a while before coming back, and I may or may not have wanted to leave some suspense and mystery about my whereabouts. Anywho,It has been a crazy year and I swears I’ll write about it at some point. I can’t just throw it all out there, then what would I have to write about. I decided to come back with a bang, and bring back my favorite… lists! So if you would kindly continue reading on for my criteria on what a potential significant other needs to become a significant other. It’s a working title I’m sure I’ll figure out a good name by the end of this.

1. Must not talk during a movie. I thought that was a relatively simple rule to follow. Even the movie theater tells you in a very nice way to shut the fuck up right before the movie starts. One would think everyone would shut the fuck up….buuuuuuuut that’s not always the case.

2. Must not talk during movie after a person specifically told you that she was really excited to see the movie.

3. Must not attempt to kiss person during the movie she said she really wanted to fucking see.

Ok guys I’m not sure if you see a pattern, but the she I was referring to is me. Here’s the story behind my new potential significant other criteria… honestly it’s more like a guide on how to behave during a Movie date. Ooooo guess what I’m calling this…MOVIE DATE 101.

As I was saying, about a week or so ago I went on a date. Well first you should know that this was a let me give this guy a second chance second date. It wasn’t a OMG I can’t wait to see this guy again second date… you get my drift. So basically this guy already had 1 strike against him and if you didn’t know I’m a former huge baseball fan (ever since Derek Jeter retired I can’t call myself a huge baseball fan anymore, but this is completely unrelated). As I was saying homeboy already had 1 strike against him and in my game there’s no balls ; ok that sounds wrong but if you know baseball you know that there are balls and strikes but I’m not getting into the rules of baseball. Anyway there are only strikes in my game is what I’m trying to say. Holy shit that took way to long for me to get to that point.

So this guy already had 1 strike against him, but I followed my slutties ( if you don’t remember, because I know it’s been a while, Slutties is a term of endearment I call my friends) advice and decided to give this guy a second chance. Our first date wasn’t horrible or anything, I just didn’t feel anything towards this guy. Our second and last date was to go see the movie Yesterday, which I was soooo excited to see because I’m a fan of the Beatles.

Throughout the entire movie this guy, let’s call him Motormouth, wouldn’t shut the fuck up… the. ENTIRE. TIME! For someone like me who thoroughly ( idk why this word just looks like I spelled it wrong but I spelled check and it didn’t correct me so onward we go) enjoy watching movies. I especially wanted to see this movie and I had expressed that fact when we made the plans to go and then again when we got into the theater. So it wasn’t like I only told him once and he forgot! That shit was fresh in his mind! (By the way this was strike numero dos… number 2 for those who may not know Spanish)

His blabbering wasn’t the only problem. In the middle of the movie he attempted to kiss me! KISS! ME!!! Like mofo did you even listen to me when I said I wanted to fucking see this movie! So I literally snuffed his face and told him in a very angry hushed voice (because I have common decency and didn’t want to ruin the movie for other people) NOT! DURING! THE! MOVIE! (I would greatly appreciate it, if you would read this in an angry hushed voice it really brings it home). (For those I’m the back still keeping count that was strike numero trois…(that’s number three for those that don’t know French… don’t worry I had to google translate that) YOU’RE OUT!!!

So in conclusion, don’t fuck with me during a movie I will Heisman the fuck out of you!

Well folks that’s all for today. Oh how I’ve missed our little chats!

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,

Emily (future Heisman Trophy winner)

Vino Viernes!!

Hello, it’s me… I’ve been back from California for about two weeks… Sorry I had to because Adele is back!!!!!!! If you haven’t heard her new single Hello then you better… And just be ready for a lot of feelings to arise. OOOO Adele how I’ve missed you!! Where you been all my life!!!

Any way…. I’M BAAAAAAAAAACK!!!! I know I’m two weeks late but what had happened was laziness over took my life and I didn’t know how to return. I was originally going to start up again on Wednesday, but I heard the most horrid news ever!!! DEREK JETER IS FREAKING ENGAGED!!! How dare he think he can be happy and get engaged without talking things out with me!!! I’ve been by his side since I was SIX YEARS OLD!!! That’s 19 and half years wasted!!! So clearly I was heart broken and haven’t been myself for the past couple of days. Thank god today is VINO VIERNES… Well it honestly doesn’t matter because I’ve been drowning my sorrows since Tuesday with my strong ass Canadian Wine ( you like how I just threw that in there uh uh… I know I’m good). Now that that chapter in my life has ended, well unless he becomes single again… Cuz you know I’m jumping right back in love with him. Who am I kidding I will forever be EMILY-ANN JETER!! I do have to give homeboy props because future wifey is HOTT, and if this 25 years old (me) can’t have him then I grudgingly pass the reins on to that 25 year old (Hannah Davis). Ugh what hurts the most is that she’s my age!!!

Moving on there’s a lot of California/West Coast stuff I’m going to be writing about for the next few days so I decided to break it up into each city I visited. So the Line up for next weeks post will be hopefully as follows: Monday San Francisco day, Wednesday Los Angeles/ Santa Monica day and Friday Las Vegas day. A lot of fun stuff and not so fun stuff happened. So I’ll see (well not really see but whatevs) you on Monday. HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!

Love Ya From the Moon and Back,
The real Mrs. Jeter (just so you know I will never be over Derek JETER getting engaged… NEVER!!

Ps. Although I’m a Yankee fan I want to say… I hope the Mets win the World Series…LET’S GO METS!!

Congratulatory Ass Slap!

I want to know who decided the best way to congratulate a teammate is by slapping their ass.

I can imagine that first person who did it was probably just trying to give his/her teammate a pat on the back but when they were about to they tripped over their own foot and while they were falling their hand was still in the ready position to pat said teammate on the back but because of the momentum of their body ended up slapping their teammates ass. Classic.

Now imagine said teammates reaction to having their ass slapped, they were probably scandalized and then figured their teammate that slapped their butt did it because he/she wanted to make him/her feel special and gave them a special pat on the lower region of their back (aka their ass). When in reality the teammate that slapped the other teammates ass was just trying not to do a face plant. It was all just a mistake but the rest of them team already saw it and were like yes this is how we should congratulate each other from now on because it’s super special!

Ooo what I would give to be the only lady on any sports team full of delicious men. Even if they messed up I would still slap their ass so they know I’m trying to make them feel special about themselves. And of course I would want the same respect I have given them, I would even bend over and say “guys didn’t I do a great job today” with a huge smile on my face. Hehehehe when I said that to my mom yesterday she laughed looked and my dad and said “did you hear what your awesomely whorish daughter said” (I might have tweaked what she said just a little).

It’s about that time again… Peace and Chicken Grease!

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily (since were on the sports subject… I LOVE DEREK JETER!)

A Letter For Momma!!!

I know that yesterday was Mother’s Day , but mum just think of this as another part of your gift. I hope you liked your gift and the extremely thoughtful card your son-in-law (Derek Jeter) and I got for you. Before I go any further I want you to know that I love you soooooooooooo much. I know I probably don’t say it enough, and I’m sorry for that.
So Growing up I’ve been ask several times; who do you want to be when you grow up? , what do you want to do when you grow up?, who do you look up to? or even who is your hero? As I got older my answers always changed, it would range from; a singer to a doctor, make people laugh to helping others, the Spice Girls to Jane Austen, and Derek Jeter to well Derek Jeter(sorry I just really love him). But if I was asked those questions now I would have very different answers. I want to say it’s because I’m older now and I feel I better understand myself and the world around me, but if I’m being honest the following answers to these questions have always been there, I just never realized it before.
Who do you want to be when you grow up?
I want to be someone that my mother will be proud of. I want her to be proud of the person I’ve become, and that everyday I try to be better than the day before, and that she can trust everything she’s taught me has made me who I am today. Mom I know that I’ve done things to disappoint you and I might do things that you don’t approve of, but I want you to know that when I grow up ( because I still see myself as a kid even though I’m 25) I hope to be just half of the person you are… Because just being half of the most amazing, caring, understanding and beautiful person, is more than enough for me.
What do you want to do when you grow up?
I can finally say I want to be a writer. The person I can thank is of course my mom. She has told me for as long as I can remember that even when I was a wee little lad I was bringing home the most amazing stories, that I wrote. I’m sure they weren’t as good as she says they were, but that’s the thing she’s my mum and she has always supported me and continues to support me in every random thought or idea that comes to mind. Mom I just want to say thank you for always being there for me and telling me that I can do anything I set my mind to. I appreciate you more than you know.
Who do you look up to?
That’s an easy one… My mother. When I was a sophomore(I think I don’t really remember) in high school, my mom was diagnosed with kidney disease. She’s been through so much, like having to do dialysis for years, finally getting a kidney transplant for that kidney to stop working, going back on the transplant list, and finally getting another kidney transplant. Through it all, which I know she was in pain and tired, she always made sure my brother and I never really knew the full extent of what she went through… Just because she didn’t want us to worry. She always puts her families needs before her own and that’s something to admire.
Who is your hero?
My mother.
Mom I know when I was growing up we didn’t always see eye to eye, but I can honestly say that you are my best friend. I love the dynamic of our friendship and I love that we can talk about anything. Your amazing… Your an inspiration… I appreciate you. I love you and I hope I become a wonderful person and mother like you some day.

I Love You Mom from all the Moons in the Universe and Back,
Mimi

Ps. Check out the card I got my mum… I’m super creative… lol

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