A couple of years ago… (I’m pretty sure it was 2011 because I remember thinking it’s not illegal to drink when you’re gonna be 21 in a month right?) me and a couple of my friends went to a bar about five blocks from my house. This bar was having a St. Patrick’s Day party. There was corned beef, cabbage, potatoes, more corned beef (there was a lot of food I just don’t remember it all it’s been years and I have trouble remembering what I did an hour ago you can’t expect me to remember what I did 6 years ago!) but most importantly there was a lot of alcohol! 

I got extremely hammered. When I say hammered I mean I drank enough that you could probably open a tap on me and serve my alcohol laced blood… it was some serious shit. I remember there being a lot of shots a couple Yjeger?… jyeger? (how the f🌙ck do you spell this…hold on I must go google…it’s actually super easy to spell… Jesus Emily!) Jagerbombs and I’m pretty sure there were beers. The best part about all this is I don’t think I paid for a damn thing. I remember having money going in and the next day there was still money in my wallet… sooooo I call that a win.So that night I remember going outside the bar a calling this guy I liked back then…just so everyone knows I’m one of those people that likes to drunk dial, well now it’s more drunk text because I hate talking to people, but back then I was really into talking to people on the phone, ok well more like just talking to this one guy on the phone… as I was saying I was talking to this guy and I remember him asking me to go with him to NYC because he didn’t want me out drinking without him (again so everyone knows I hate traveling to The City, even though it’s only about a 15 min bus ride in I still hate it, but once I’m there I have the best time it’s just getting the motivation of actually going that kills it for me). I told this kid he was f🌙cking nuts, one I would have to meet up with him in my already extremely inebriated state and then he expected me to hang out like this, like I said he was f🌙cking nuts. Any way he got mad at me and then I got even more mad because he was mad at me and the alcohol taking up residency in my blood stream didn’t help the situation… I know I know I’m super surprised that I remember this much from this night, but this night is engraved in my brain.

So in my pissed off state I wanted to go home. Boobielicious and I started walking to my house from this bar at like 1:30ish or something. Boobielicious was meeting up with a friend of hers close to my house so she decided to walk with me. When I finally got home its was THREE O’CLOCK IN THE MORNING!!!! It shouldn’t have taken me and my friend an HOUR to get back to my house!!! This bar was 5 blocks away from my house!! When I say 5 blocks I literally mean 5 blocks. So I was really confused and wondered if I blacked out or if I decided to take the extremely long way home… which basically would be me walking around my whole town because it’s not that big for it to take me an hour to get home from a bar that was FIVE BLOCKS AWAY!!! 

Soooo long story short…even though I basically already gave you the whole story… the next morning when I woke up (basically on my death bed) and went to get some water the clock on the kitchen stove said it was 10am which matched what my phone said. For some of you you might be thinking “well yeah that’s what clocks should do… tell the right time” well you see the clock in my kitchen only tells the correct time about 6 months out of the year… the other 6 months it’s usually an hour ahead. That is when I figured out where that hour went… it was daylight savings time. Well there you have it… that is how I lost an hour and it was also the last time I got that drunk… I think.
Love Ya from the Moon and Back,

Emily ( I really am extremely impressed with myself that I remembered that much from that night considering my already bad memory and the amount of drinks I had)