Happy Memorial Day!!! Thank you to those who fought and are still finding for our Country. You are all truly appreciated!
So as I told you guys on Friday I went to EDC (Electric Daisy Carnival) this weekend!!! It was so much fun but extremely freaking exhausting. I love to people watch…sometimes when I people watch I like to find people that look like they’re having a really intense conversation… so I can add commentary as if I was at a sporting event… it’s a blasty blast, you should try it. There was really no connection between telling you about my weird habit and EDC…I just thought everyone should know.
So I saw some interesting things at EDC… I saw several different color areolas…some were bejeweled while others were just covered by see through shirts. OOOOO I also saw some penises flopping around. The first guy I saw caught me off guard… he had on bright green boxers and when he turned around BAM the area where the sack lays was mesh…MESH PEOPLE!!! I saw it all…and I couldn’t look away!!
So because of my weekend experiences…I’ve composed a EDC Survival Guide and here it is:
- Make sure to wear comfortable shoes…because if you don’t your feet will be in pain…if your feet are even still there when you leave. Just saying shit gets intense. Clothing choices are up to you… if you want to go in your birthday suit I suggest wear sensible shoes.
- Be prepared to see other people’s goodies and gonads. They will be on full display.
- If you plan on drinking I suggest either bringing made dough, mula, money…or just tailgate because it be super expensive.
- Ooo I wish I would’ve thought of this, but bring one of those water backpacks because your gonna need it. I was super close to just drinking from some stranger’s water.
- Also you should train you bladder and bowels to not have to go…because those porta-pottys are fucking (yes I said fucking) DISGUSTING!!!
- While your tailgating I suggest you stretch. Because I’m pretty sure I tweaked some shit.
- Be prepared to be extremely sore…or maybe that’s just me because my body is killing me!!
- If you plan on going two days in a row like me and my friends did…a couple of months before the festival you should probably build up your stamina because your going to be jumping out of your bras and boxers.
- Ladies this is really important…make sure to wear a good bra or maybe four because at the end of the first night…I’m sad to say my bra didn’t make. The underwire popped out so now I gotta buy a new bra. Also my boobs are probably the sorest part of my body. (If you are a member of the itty bitty titty committee…you should be good so disregard this one)
- And finally be safe and just have a blasty blast… you will have the best time of your life!
- Sorry one more be prepared to get second hand high…because yeah that happens.
- Ok ok last one, bring sunglasses…not only for the sun but also for all the lights that will be blinding you.
And there you have it folks…Emily’s EDC Survival Guidelines.
Love ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily (now I must go ice my body)
Ps. Me and some guy shimmied our titties at each other…I’m pretty sure he was gay, but I still call it a win. And it was possibly the most action I’ve had in a while. Saddest panda.