Electric Daisy Carnival

Happy Memorial Day!!! Thank you to those who fought and are still finding for our Country. You are all truly appreciated!

So as I told you guys on Friday I went to EDC (Electric Daisy Carnival) this weekend!!! It was so much fun but extremely freaking exhausting. I love to people watch…sometimes when I people watch I like to find people that look like they’re having a really intense conversation… so I can add commentary as if I was at a sporting event… it’s a blasty blast, you should try it. There was really no connection between telling you about my weird habit and EDC…I just thought everyone should know.

So I saw some interesting things at EDC… I saw several different color areolas…some were bejeweled while others were just covered by see through shirts. OOOOO I also saw some penises flopping around. The first guy I saw caught me off guard… he had on bright green boxers and when he turned around BAM the area where the sack lays was mesh…MESH PEOPLE!!! I saw it all…and I couldn’t look away!!

So because of my weekend experiences…I’ve composed a EDC Survival Guide and here it is:

  1. Make sure to wear comfortable shoes…because if you don’t your feet will be in pain…if your feet are even still there when you leave. Just saying shit gets intense. Clothing choices are up to you… if you want to go in your birthday suit I suggest wear sensible shoes.
  2. Be prepared to see other people’s goodies and gonads. They will be on full display.
  3. If you plan on drinking I suggest either bringing made dough, mula, money…or just tailgate because it be super expensive.
  4. Ooo I wish I would’ve thought of this, but bring one of those water backpacks because your gonna need it. I was super close to just drinking from some stranger’s water.
  5. Also you should train you bladder and bowels to not have to go…because those porta-pottys are fucking (yes I said fucking) DISGUSTING!!!
  6. While your tailgating I suggest you stretch. Because I’m pretty sure I tweaked some shit.
  7. Be prepared to be extremely sore…or maybe that’s just me because my body is killing me!!
  8. If you plan on going two days in a row like me and my friends did…a couple of months before the festival you should probably build up your stamina because your going to be jumping out of your bras and boxers.
  9. Ladies this is really important…make sure to wear a good bra or maybe four because at the end of the first night…I’m sad to say my bra didn’t make. The underwire popped out so now I gotta buy a new bra. Also my boobs are probably the sorest part of my body. (If you are a member of the itty bitty titty committee…you should be good so disregard this one)
  10. And finally be safe and just have a blasty blast… you will have the best time of your life!
  11. Sorry one more be prepared to get second hand high…because yeah that happens.
  12. Ok ok last one, bring sunglasses…not only for the sun but also for all the lights that will be blinding you.

And there you have it folks…Emily’s EDC Survival Guidelines.

 

470164_lLove ya from the Moon and Back,

Emily (now I must go ice my body)

 

Ps. Me and some guy shimmied our titties at each other…I’m pretty sure he was gay, but I still call it a win. And it was possibly the most action I’ve had in a while. Saddest panda.

Vino Viernes!!!

Hey hey hey!!! Its’ Friday, and I’m super sorry that this is going up so late. But, you know what Friday means!!!! VINO!!! Well in this case BEER!!! I totally forgot to pick up some wine yesterday and the only wine left in my house was that nastiness I had last week and I was not going to put my self through that again. So I’m drinking some Cerveza instead…that’s the fastest alcoholic beverage to find in my fridge. The beer I’m drinking which everyone should get on, is Leinenkugel’s Summer Shandy!!! THIS IS HANDS DOWN MY FAVORITE BEER!!! I especially love it because Papa Moon hates it… which you know, means he won’t be drinking my BEER!!! Or so I thought I got home today and there was only 1 left, because home boy drank all my shit.

Down to what I really wanted to talk to you guys about. MUSIC!! So in memory of B.B. KING all I listened to today was blues and jazz music. At first I didn’t realize I knew any blues artist until my coworker started pointing out all my favorite old school singers; like Edith Piaf , Etta James, Ella Fitzgerald, Louis Armstrong, and Billie Holiday… I felt like the biggest douch… I didn’t even realize they were blues artist. After listening to blues all day it got me thinking that the music we listen to today is freaking terrible!!! Music back in the day had substance… it had meaning behind it…there was actual LYRICS!! Yes people Lyrics… I know unheard of right. Listening to actual music makes you think…what the heck are we listening to. The songs now a days are all about booties, drugs, and sex. Yes I know songs from back in the day spoke about the same things, but they were classier and smoother with it.

A couple of weeks ago I was with Indigo and Royal Blue and we were listening to 90s rap and older songs. Then Whitney Houston’s song “Wanna Dance with Somebody” came up… and I love this song!!! Like when I hear this song I. wanna. Dance. You know because Whitney said. Any way Indigo brought up Jeremiahs song about him wanting to drink with somebody, and take shots with somebody, and then he wants to go home with somebody. I was like damn man!! You just messed up an amazing Whitney Houston song.

Any way so we were talking about that and it got me thinking, its true music today is shit, it has no meaning… if you have a catchy beat and a phrase that means absolutely nothing that people like you’ve struck gold… because apparently we’re all stupid (yes I include myself as well because honestly man…stupid) because they don’t make any sense. Now we have people becoming rich and famous off of this stupidity. When you think about the music even from the 90s it might have started to lean towards the nonsense we listen to now, but we still had artist like Lauryn Hill and Boyz II Men, who had something meaningful to say and it was poetic.

It’s just pretty disappointing to think that this music we listen to is what might identify our generation. There aren’t many artists out today that give me goose bumps, like when I listen to the music my mum listened to. And it’s just sad. There’s only a handful of artist today that give me that feeling; like Justin Timberlake (any thing he does I will always listen to he is the exception because I love him) Ed Sheeran, Sam Smith, Jessie J, Adele, Kelly Clarkson, Colbie Calliet,, Jason Mraz and I think that’s it. For a person that loves music as much as I do, my list should still be rolling out. I don’t know, maybe I should branch out and listen to different genres. What evs I’m just talking shit. It’s been swell!!

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,

Emily (Music Enthusiast)

 

Cinco De Mayo!!

I know, I know it’s May 6th now but what evs bruh.

Yesterday some weird shit happened to me. I woke up thinking I was in some type of Zombie Apocalypse. I roll out of bed looking for my Zombie Survival Kit, which includes: my rifle with extra ammo, machete, cargo pants, hiking boots, extra pairs of socks (because everyone knows you need extra socks just incase your feet get wet…derf you need to change your socks…I learned from countless War related movies), of course my Hunger Games Bow and Arrow is in my kit…if you were wondering I have Katnis Everdeen Skills (well that’s what the archery game I play on my phone tells me). So when I fully woke up I was like WTF am I doing and what year is it? I must have had some extremely realistic Zombie dream. Some might think it’s a nightmare…not me, I think I would be freaking amazing in a Zombie Apoclypse. What I’m trying to say here kids is you should not play The Last of Us, well really any Zombie or other Apocalyptic type of video games before going to bed…because shit got real for me.

So after my brush with the zombies that morning, this overwhelming need to be extra Hispanic came over me. Don’t get me wrong I’m super proud to be Hispanic, but if you really got to know me you would understand that I’m probably less Spanish than my Irish friends, truth. So as I was saying, I was feeling real Spanish yesterday…and I had no clue why. So I went on with my day jamming to my entire collection of favorite Spanish artist… from iHeart… because I don’t have an actual collection because you know I’m super American. Anyway I finally realized that the spanishness seeping through my veins is because it was Cinco de Mayo. No I’m not Mexican, I’m Dominican, but Hispanic is Hispanic nah mean… and I do love anything that is celebrated by drinking. Salude (cheers).

So on Sunday I was walking into the living room and I saw a commercial for DWTS (Dancing With The Stars) and just in case you didn’t know I might be slightly obsessed with Derek Hough…I mean DWTS, hehehehe. So when I walked into the living room my mom was there and I started breaking out my super AWESOME dance moves. You know I was Tangoing, Paso Dobleing (I think I spelled it right besides the ING at the end)… keeping my frame up…yea that’s right I know some dance terms. As I was showing my mum my mad dance skills (which I think I would definitely get a 10 from LEN and the other judges) I asked her “I could totes be on dancing with the star…right mum?” her response was “Yea, but you have one problem…you need to be a star”. I know right…HURTFUL!! I had some choice words for her like, you big meanie… you’re my mother!!!

OOOO before I forget…so today was supposed to be my first time as a Juror. When I first got the summons I was like, are they crazy they can’t give me this kind of power. I can’t handle the pressure what if I send an innocent person to jail for not paying their street sweeper ticket. Those freaking street sweepers are freaking annoying, they don’t clean shit… They just push it to the other side of the street. Sorry I got side tracked, okay so after I got used to the idea of being a juror I thought… “This is gonna be pretty awesome I can’t wait to say, You just got Lawyered!! Suckas!!”. I’m pretty sure the Supreme Court heard my thoughts because as soon as that popped into my head I got an email saying I wasn’t needed anymore! Rude, after all the preping I did.

On that note, Andele andele mami, E.I. E.I.

Uh-ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh! What’s poppin tonight? (Nelly, you my Dude!)

 

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,

Emily (Happy belated Cinco de Mayo)image1-2

Colorful FRIENDS!!

Has anybody had one of those weekends or days even, where you don’t do anything crazy but it was still probably the best time you’ve had.

Well that basically sums up this weekend for me. Saturday night was one of the best nights I’ve had in a while. I didn’t do anything out of the ordinary and I absolutely loved it. I spent my Saturday with my favorite Hermanitas (sisters)…I just realized that I have a couple sisters that are my friends…(I swears I love you all…MUAH!!). Any who I hung out with Indigo and Royal Blue, I’ve been friends with these two for as long as I can remember…well I met Indigo through Royal Blue. Royal Blue and I went to Elementary school together and till this day we have no clue how we became friends or even how we met. But I’ve never been more thankful to be able to call these two amazing, talented and B.E.A.UTIFUL people my friends/sisters. Sorry for getting emotional on you there, I just finished listening to Ribbon in The Sky by Stevie Wonder, and let me tell you that dude knows how to pull those heart strings man!

Anyway we spent our night drinking Vino (two big ass bottles), smoking Hookah, and talking crap ranging from: reminiscing about the crazy stuff we used to do, marriage, our book club, will Derek Hough return to DWTS (Dancing With The Stars) to… who would you rather, you know do the nasty with, Derek Hough or Mark Ballas? Sorry Mark you’re a cutie, but I just have this obsession with Dereks… and you know Derek Hough is DEEELISH!! hehehe. We did that who would you rather, you know do the nasty with, for what seemed like hours with a hole bunch of different famous people. Do you know how hard it is to think of celebrities to match up against each other… well I’ll tell you, it was pretty hard man. On any other day I could have told you the persons: full name, where they came from, what movies, shows, music, or sport that person played, but on the day I actually needed this useless information I couldn’t think of anyone’s name. I could see the peoples face perfectly in my head but I couldn’t think for their names to save my life; It’s a good thing I had Google to help me though, because I still would have been saying… you know that guy with face in that movie with the people, and you know the one with the really nice ass. The best part had to be our version of lipsync/rap battle, it was freaking HIGHlarious; I haven’t laughed that hard in what feels like forever (for-ev-er,FOR-EV-ER…gotta love The Sandlot). I say good day to you all!giphy

Love Ya from the Moon and back,

Emily (must say in british accent…We Literally drank two big arse bottles of Wine…two)

P. motherFING S. WHY SHONDA RHIMES WHY… How could you do that to me…DEREK FREAKING SHEPHERD… WHY!!! Hasn’t’ Meredith been through enough shit in her life. HOLY CRAP! This woman knows how to ruin a persons perfectly good Thursday night…DAMN BRUH!