Ballet Watching 101!

Cinderelly CinderellyNight and day it’s Cinderelly

Make the fire!

Fix the breakfast!

Wash the dishes!

Do the mopping!
I just saw my first ballet and it was Cinderella!!! I loved it! It was so beautiful and the colors of the costumes were magical. The best part is we had box seating!!! BOX SEATING!!! Yes we were one of those fancy people. I felt a little bit like Viv (Julia Roberts) from Pretty Woman minus the whole prostitution thing and the really rich handsome dude named Edward (Richard Gere). I went with my momma, I had bought these tickets for her birthday and she freaking loved it, Soooooo basically It’s a fact that I am her favorite child! YAAAASSSS! 

If you ever want to go see a ballet I have a couple of tips for you:

1/2. The correct way to pronounce ballet is Baa Let… don’t let others steer you wrong… bwuhahahaha (this is my evil laugh… also I was too lazy to move the numbers around so that’s where the half came from).

1. You should probably dress a little fancy, like where the jeans The don’t have those rips on them. There were a lot of people in full blown gowns for this show. Meanwhile me and my mom are in jeans and a sweater thinking nobody is going to come that dressed up for a show at 3 o’clock in the afternoon!! We were WRONG!

2. Be prepared to spend roughly $21.15 actually $22.15 (I tipped a dollar I know i know I’m super generous) on two mini bottles of Sprite, a bag of skittles and Welch’s fruit snack (Horse manure!!!).

3. You will see lots of bulges (you know man parts in tights) and wedgies! WOW!!! That’s all I have to say!

4. You will leave there believing you can do all those moves just as beautifully, but you can’t Emily!!! You’re not properly trained so stop it or you will break your fucking toes, ankles, snap your Achilles basically anything that makes up your foot! Just stop it Emily!

5. Lastly be prepared for a lot of clapping!!! There is more clapping in ballet than in any sporting event. My arms and hands are sore from clapping so much. I’m surprised I can even type this right now!
Well there you go I hope these tips help anyone who wants to see a ballet! 
Love Ya from the Moon and Back,

Emily ( future ballet star!! Nah never mind I don’t have the balance or grace for that!)

What Color of the Week is it?

So I’ve been on a mental health retreat. I didn’t go anywhere, just stayed home watched TV… Mostly hallmark, HGTV, Food network and Disney… Singing at the top of my lungs around the house and doing a 1000 piece puzzle. I completely gave up on the puzzle by the way.

On this mental health mini vacation I’ve realized that when I’m not working I lose track of what day it is. Usually at work Monday’s is Blue scrub Monday’s because obviously your feeling real sad and “blue” that your weekend is over and all that jazz.

Tuesday is just well the day in the middle of blue Monday and Pink Wednesday. Wednesday isn’t only pink because of Mean Girls, but I’ve noticed that I wear pink on Wednesdays a lot and I’m not consciously doing it. Wait maybe it is because of Mean Girls, it was just ingrained in my brain.

Thursday is the other day that starts with a T. Finally Friday is Jean day. That’s how I know what day of the week I’m in. Because I haven’t worked since last Wednesday I’ve been lost in life.

The only reason I know what day it is today is because I have to go back to work tomorrow and I can’t wear jeans because it not Friday and I’m currently wearing a somewhat pink shirt. It’s crazy how my brain coordinates what day is what by colors and apparently having a day start with the letter T.

Because I clearly did absolutely nothing for the past couple of days… This is the extent of my exciting life. Well it’s been super swell.

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,

Emily ( I really don’t wanna go back to work tomorrow. Saddest panda.)

Ps. I just got an email showing me apartments for rent in San Diego. I had no clue I was thinking of moving to San Diego. Weird.

Vino Viernes Part Un

imageI’m BaaaaaaaaaAaaaaack!!!! How much did you miss me! First I want to let you know that I tried to do Vino Viernes on Friday, but because I was in CANADA!!!!!!!!! I couldn’t because I didn’t have service up there nah mean jelly bean! Any way I’ve decided that today, Monday, will be Vino Viernes Part Un (French for the number 1 just in case you didn’t know). So much went on this weekend that I have to give you two posts just to let you know of my Canadian Adventures, and so we begin!

Don’t worry just because I was in a different country doesn’t mean I didn’t drink me some vino!!! The wine we had on Friday (when I say we I mean myself, Sluttie McSlutterson and Boobielicious) was super French I couldn’t even pronounce it (the bottles name was Marquis de Méricourt… I know super fancy) what I did understand was that it was Rosé (I love that É, it’s so classy). One of the many things I love about Montreal is that little bodegas (aka corner stores) sell alcohol. I decided to tell you this because I bought this bottle in the bodega next to our hotel. Now on to the flavor… The first sip I took was pretty delish but the second and third were not so good. It had a weird after taste that I was not a fan of and it was slightly dry. It would definitely be better if I turned it into a rosé spritzer (with some sprite… That’s basically what I do to all the dry wines that I’ve had in the name of Vino Viernes because no wine goes un-sipped or in my case guzzled.

Now that I’ve spoken of Friday’s wine I must now tell you about our start to Montreal weekend.

So we ( myself, Sluttie McSlutterson and Boobielicious… Just reminding you who we consists of) started our day off at 5 in the morning. Well I actually stared at 5:15 because these hoes were coming to me so I gots to sleep an extra 15 minutes… Ha ha suckas! So our plan was to to start driving up at 6am. Any way Sluttie McSlutterson is the first to get to my house and we were here bullshitting while I got the final things I would need for our trip. Then I get a text from Boobielicious that she’s outside, so as we were walking through my house to go outside I randomly ask McSlutterson if she has her passport… Thinking the answer is yes I keep walking… When she says some form of “HOLY GUACAMOLE EMILY THE MOST AWESOME PERSON I’VE EVER KNOWN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE No I don’t!” My response was “are you forserious?” So the point of that part of the story is that we didn’t start our trip at 6, because we had to drive to McSluttersons house first so she could get her passport.

About five hours later (say it the way that guy in Sponge Bob says it… Hehehe) as were still driving up through New York and getting closer to the border my Waze (The Best GPS App ever!!!) Starts telling us things in French… Just so everyone know I am now almost fluent in French (not really but I’ve learned some new words)… Anyway when I looked at my phone to see what exit we have to get off its says Sortie 53 (Exit 53) and I look and I say in the car so everyone could hear (you know it was pretty loud because we had the windows down, trying to save some gas and also because it was freaking 65 degrees outside, but that’s besides the point) “Dude Waze (it’s pronounced WahZee… Not ways,  if anyone ever pronounces it wrong in my presence your dead to me… Okay I joke not dead, but I will Ignore you) is talking to me in French!!!! Aaahhhh!!!” So as were getting closer to the border I realize that once we cross the border were not going to be able to use our phones. I didn’t care care about not being able to use the phone the problem was that we needed Waze to get to our Hotel, so a dilemma arouse. So I decided to take screen shots of the step by step directions (don’t worry I wasn’t driving anymore McSlutterson was… I didn’t do illegal things) so we would have to kick it old school and read signs and actually pay attention rather than having something yell at you where you have to exit or make a right in 500 feet… Honestly who the fuck knows exactly what 500 hundred feet is!!! Come on son!!!! They have to say make a right at the next light sucka!! That would make more sense. Finally we get to the border and I realize how obnoxious America is, we have this huge United States of America across the tolls, while Canada just had a flag on the side… Super chill nothing yelling at anybody in letters to tell them where they have arrived! Although the USA sign is pretty badass!!! So once we crossed the border and arrived in Montreal we started to explore and we came across Le Village, which is the most spectacular place ever. It’s so beautiful and I instantly fell in love with the city. There is art work on every wall imaginable and music coming out of every where! If you go anywhere in your life you have to make sure you make it up to Montreal, this place is incredible.

I’m sorry but this is where Part Un ends come read about the rest of our exhausting but fabulous trip to Montreal on Wednesday in Vino Viernes Part Deux (because I’m super French Canadian now and also because I can only count up to three… By the way that means number 2)

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily (I would totes move to Montreal… It’s so beautiful up there)

Snap… Crackle… Pop!

“Do you recall not long ago we would walk on the sidewalk…Innocent. Remeber? All we did was care for each other…but the night was warm. We were bold and young. All around the wind blows. We would only hold on to let go… Blow a kiss, fire a gun. We need someone to lean on. Blow a kiss, fire a gun. All we need is somebody to lean on!!!” I abso-freaking-lutely love this song… It just gets me going. This would be the song I listen to to start my day, it just make me happy! By the way that songs name is Lean On by DJ Snake and Major Lazer.

Anyway, a couple of days ago I was sitting in my room watching chiropractors adjust (aka crack… I watched so many I learned the lingo) people’s backs, necks, hips and feet. Practically everything that can be cracked was cracked and it was the most glorious thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Not only did it look like it felt incredibly amazing , but the loud cracking sounds was like music to my ears. When I crack my bones and I hear that loud pop I just have this deep soul quenching amazingness feeling seep through my body, like my work is complete… It’s thee best. You know what is almost at the same level but not really, is watching other people get parts of there body cracked… Omg I love it!!!

Ooo your gonna think I’m even weirder than you probably already do. I know you probably thought it couldn’t possibly get any worse… Weeeeellll it’s about to. So I LOOOOOOOVE watching people get their pimples popped!!! Ahhhh I know it sounds B.A.N.A.N.A.S, but it’s the truth. I have no clue what it is about it I just get so excited! And the bigger the pimple the better it makes me feel… I think I just like the feeling of being grossed out. At least I know I’m not the only one, my sluttie Royal Blue feels the same way I do. I think that’s one of the many reasons we love each other so much. We’re like two pimples in a pore…you get it like two peas in a pod but like way grosser… I’m pretty sure grosser is not a word, but I don’t care deal with it!

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( two days till Canada!!!!!)

Ps. This is what my YouTube home page looked like!


I Love Making Lists!

Just finished watching the movie The Giver… All I gots to say is… EVERYONE MUST WATCH THIS! I don’t care if it’s not your kind of movie… Dooo it!!! Okay okay maybe I should tell you a couple of things to persuade you to watch it!

1. I said it’s amazing and that should be reason enough… I joke I joke… But seriously watch it it’s really good.

2. The main character (played by Brenton Thwaites) is absolutely gorgeous… Although I thought he was like 16ish turns out he’s actually 26 (thank the lord for that).

3. Brenton Thwaites is Australian… And also plays Prince Philip in Maleficent… Nuff said.

4. Jeff Bridges… Loves him!!!

5. The goddess of all Meryl MotherFing Streep… Hellur!!!

6. Cute babies all over the place

7. It can be a total mind fuck, which I love!

8. Eric Northman (Alexander Skarshard) is still a beautiful creature… If you don’t know Erin Northman you better get up on that True Blood!

9. If movies aren’t your thing, this movie is based off a Book by the same name… And if the movie was this good… The book is probably 20 times more amazing (as books usually are).

10. T. Swizzle, Tay Tay, Swifty, my home girl Taylor Swift makes a 10 minute cameo! So what are you freaking waiting for!!!

I just told my cousin Saca Moco that I wasn’t gonna write about the movie… I lied I wanted to keep him in suspense!

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( just so you know it’s hot as the Devils sons armpit in this freaking room)


So I totally dyed my hair again, the blonde was boring me. My new color was supposed to be a blackish/purplish mix. Because of my blonde hair though, I’ve created a masterpiece!!! It’s more of a grayish/purple…I’m completely in love with this color. It looks so cool and totally different than anything I’ve ever done to my hair. I feel like I finally got a winner. I’ve met my hair color soulmate! Here’s a picture for everyone to see.imageIt might not be as noticeable in picture form, but it’s freaking bad ass in real life!!! I’m so excited about my hair that I just want to look at my hair all day in the mirror and tell my hair how beautiful it is and how much I love you, and that you are my one true love.

On to other news, I love you hair Sooo much!! Sorry I had to… Okay forrealz this time, I had a pretty good weekend… Well besides seeing my once upon a time love of my life and my mother saying such horrid things like asking about his so called “wife”. Ugh, As If!!! They’re not married, well I hope they’re not…okay I really don’t mean that (I kinda do, but I kinda don’t) I want them to be happy or whatever, but just not near me so I don’t have to like see it ever!!! OOOO and I thought my mother was on my side… How dare she call her his “wife” in front of me!!! I would disown her, but I can’t cuz you know I live in her house, so that would be kind of rude of me.

On a much much much much much much happier note, I saw MAGIC MIKE XXL… And holy shit that was, I don’t even have words to explain the MAN-liciousness that occurred on that screen. I bow down to those that decided to make a movie about male entertainers… Because GAWD DAMN!!! It was amazing. Magic Mike XXL, you turned my almost shitty weekend right around and ended it on a AWESOMEBALLZ NOTE. I was so flustered after this movie that me and alcohol are back in good terms… Because you know I needed a drink or two after that! Whew! I gots my self all hot and bothered just reminiscing… I gotta go!

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( I finally have the purple hair I’ve been dreaming about!!)

Wining and Painting

I Know I know…I’m sorry this is so late but I actually had plans today I know crazy but I did. My mum brought me to her company gathering. We went to wine and paint night or wine and drink night something like that, and it was AMAZEBALLZ. When I first thought about doing this with my friends I was like YASSS, I need to do this. After the idea settled I started getting a little nervous. Like what if my painting doesn’t come out anywhere near decent or even remotely resemble what ever it is we are supposed to be painting. So I pretty much stressed my self out for nothing. It’s pretty easy, our instructor was really nice and encouraging. Well I suppose she has to be because you know we paid for this. Any who they really take they’re time and walk you through everything. Like what color were staring off with and how to correctly blend colors. Not only was I becoming a painting master I felt at the end of our session that I could be the one instructing. I guess I’ll leave that to you to decide.

image1-2So here’s where we started with a blank canvas and somewhat full glass of wine (I might have had one or two sips)… At this point I was still pretty optimistic that I could handle this. I was glancing over at the example we were going to be painting and it look relatively simple.

FullSizeRender-3At this point I started getting a little worried, my blues weren’t correctly blending with each other and the middle was supposed to go from white to light blue and blah blah blah… There’s a little dark patch there that was really pissing me off. Throughout this whole thing I’m thinking that this would be a relaxing experience, but when my shit wasn’t looking like the instructors I started getting annoyed!! Like honestly how hard is it to just paint the damn canvas blue!!!

image3Now the trees… Ooo these damn trees!!! Looking at the picture they don’t look that bad, but this took a lot of concentration!!! And I learned that I would never be a surgeon… I got some shakes hands man!

image4And finally the finished product and my empty glass of wine ( I at least three after that I decided it would be wise to forget how many I actually had)!!! I’m the next freaking Picasso, Van Gogh, Monet, Rembrandt… I could continue but that’s about the extent of artist that I know. Ooo my art history professor would be so pissed at me. Once the class is done and I’ve passed it I forget everything I was taught as fast as humanly possible. My brain needs room for next semesters classes!
Well I’m out its time for bed!

Love Ya from the Moon and Back.
Emily ( but you can know refer to me as Emily Picasso-Van Gogh-Monet)
Ps. If you haven’t gone wine and painting I suggest you do it… It was the best time ever!!

Do Blondes Have More Fun?!?!

Soooo I’m super duper BLONDE now…and I’m not sure how I feel about it yet. And when I say I’m super blonde this is what I mean:IMG_0667

So I’ve been getting mixed views on my new hair. Mum Moon and Poppa Moon…HATE IT!! Want to know how I know…my dad said “no me gusta” meaning I don’t like it, and my mom in the beginning was trying to be more subtle… like “I just cant get used to you being blonde” then she said “I hate it”. So yea I don’t think my parents like my new do… but I’m okay with it. My slutties think it looks great and Snot Rockets’ reaction when he got my text was “love you” I responded with thanks man love you 2… then he said LOOKS GREAT! (I might have exaggerated with the all caps…but that’s besides the point) then he continued with You home?…I’m locked out… ahhh brotherly love.

Let me start from the beginning of my hair color-changing obsession! Its not really that big of a deal actually, I just gets bored fast and like to change my hair. Last year after I dyed my hair to what ever color I dyed it to (it was supposed to be a golden brown… ended up being like and orangey brownish color). Anyway I had promised my self that I wouldn’t dye my hair for a year, so I can let my hair rest from all them chemicals…Nah mean. Just so you know I’ve dye my hair what feels like a bazillion times, and I’ve only gone to an actual salon maybe 3 times (this time was one of the 3 times). Back to my story, once the year started getting closer I was getting that urge to do something different to my hair, but because the year was up yet I ended up cutting my hair. I always go through this phase where getting bangs seems like the most logical thing in the world. I always said when I don’t want to do my hair I can just blow dry my bangs and just put the rest up in a colita (I’m not completely sure if I spelled that right… but It means pony tail). If you know me you would understand that I hate doing my hair…so the bangs were a smart decision. I’ve gotten bangs about 5 times in my life…and I’ve hated it every time I don’t know how I always seem to convince my self that I like them…I blame Delilah she’s really good at helping make stupid decisions.

I’m telling you I think I have some form of A.D.D. I get distracted so easily. About two months ago I started thinking of what color I wanted to dye my hair I went through all the colors my hair has been, I’ve had: my natural color (which I honestly don’t remember what it is I think its like Dark Brown… I only know this because of my eyebrows), red, like a dark copper, to light brown with blonde highlights, to like a burgundy color. So when I thought of all these colors the first color to pop into my head was….PURPLE!!! Which isn’t the most “Professional” looking hair color, but I didn’t care. I started looking at different shades of purple and I found one that I loved and could’ve kinda, sorta, almost, not even close pass for black… hehehehe. So that’s why my hair is blonde, well basically yellow. That’s all I got for today home slices!


Love Ya from the Moon and Back,

Emily (my hair could be put in place of the M for McDonalds and you wouldn’t know the difference)


Ps. I think that whole blondes have more fun is a lie…I’ve having the same amount of fun I was having as a half brunette, half other color I was before.

Colorful FRIENDS!!

Has anybody had one of those weekends or days even, where you don’t do anything crazy but it was still probably the best time you’ve had.

Well that basically sums up this weekend for me. Saturday night was one of the best nights I’ve had in a while. I didn’t do anything out of the ordinary and I absolutely loved it. I spent my Saturday with my favorite Hermanitas (sisters)…I just realized that I have a couple sisters that are my friends…(I swears I love you all…MUAH!!). Any who I hung out with Indigo and Royal Blue, I’ve been friends with these two for as long as I can remember…well I met Indigo through Royal Blue. Royal Blue and I went to Elementary school together and till this day we have no clue how we became friends or even how we met. But I’ve never been more thankful to be able to call these two amazing, talented and B.E.A.UTIFUL people my friends/sisters. Sorry for getting emotional on you there, I just finished listening to Ribbon in The Sky by Stevie Wonder, and let me tell you that dude knows how to pull those heart strings man!

Anyway we spent our night drinking Vino (two big ass bottles), smoking Hookah, and talking crap ranging from: reminiscing about the crazy stuff we used to do, marriage, our book club, will Derek Hough return to DWTS (Dancing With The Stars) to… who would you rather, you know do the nasty with, Derek Hough or Mark Ballas? Sorry Mark you’re a cutie, but I just have this obsession with Dereks… and you know Derek Hough is DEEELISH!! hehehe. We did that who would you rather, you know do the nasty with, for what seemed like hours with a hole bunch of different famous people. Do you know how hard it is to think of celebrities to match up against each other… well I’ll tell you, it was pretty hard man. On any other day I could have told you the persons: full name, where they came from, what movies, shows, music, or sport that person played, but on the day I actually needed this useless information I couldn’t think of anyone’s name. I could see the peoples face perfectly in my head but I couldn’t think for their names to save my life; It’s a good thing I had Google to help me though, because I still would have been saying… you know that guy with face in that movie with the people, and you know the one with the really nice ass. The best part had to be our version of lipsync/rap battle, it was freaking HIGHlarious; I haven’t laughed that hard in what feels like forever (for-ev-er,FOR-EV-ER…gotta love The Sandlot). I say good day to you all!giphy

Love Ya from the Moon and back,

Emily (must say in british accent…We Literally drank two big arse bottles of Wine…two)

P. motherFING S. WHY SHONDA RHIMES WHY… How could you do that to me…DEREK FREAKING SHEPHERD… WHY!!! Hasn’t’ Meredith been through enough shit in her life. HOLY CRAP! This woman knows how to ruin a persons perfectly good Thursday night…DAMN BRUH!