On this episode I talk about my weekend shenanigans, Drunk Shakespeare and how I was disrespected by my own father. Santa Claus is Coming to Town gets its time on “I’m Sorry, Que”
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So a couple of you crazy kids reached out and asked if I was coming back and that you missed me! Guys I feel sooo loved, but at the same time you’re kinda smothering me… jk jk.. that’s how I usually respond when I’m talking to a guy and he starts calling me babe and telling me he misses me after hanging out one time. It gets weird! But when it comes from one of you fabulous peeps I feel like I want to run away… less, so that’s good. Anywho, a lot of things have happened in the past month! Ok well not a lot… really just two things. But both things are equally interesting. So I’ve been trying to decide if I should do just one big post about it or if each one should get their own. I’ve decided on the latter, because honestly that’s the easiest option and I won’t have to think of what to write next week.
So the last post left off about a week before Christmas. Oh Christmas what a magical time and a time where money just flies out of your bank accounts. Back to the story. Every year my friends and I have a Christmas party where we exchange our secret Santa gifts, play beer pong and just have a jolly ole time. This year was even more special than previous years.
This year… wait for it…. we got to witness a proposal!!! How f🌙cking magical is that sh🌙t!!! Two of my slutties, Frover and Frenemy, are freaking engaged! These two are the first in our group of friends to get to this stage in their lives. It was pretty amazing to be a part of such a special moment! These two have been together for so long through ups and downs, and now they are taking this next step and I can’t be happier for them! I’m not gonna lie Frenemy might have made my eyes leak a little bit with his speech.
If either of you a reading this I just want you both to know that I’m so incredibly happy for you, and I wish you guys the happiest forever. You both deserve it! Love you guys!!
Well that’s enough of the mushy crap.
Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( I just want everyone to know that I’m probably the best photographer ever bwuahahaha. P.S. that little reindeer in the back is a scary mofo.)
As Christmas gets closer and closer, I become increasingly less subtle when giving “hints” about what I want for Christmas. The hunt for my prefect Christmas gift from my parents usually starts around mid-October. My parents would ask me (usually at separate times) what I want for Christmas, and me being the best daughter ever I tell “don’t worry about me, I don’t need anything this year”. Which would make my parents say it’s not about what you need Mimi (that’s one of my many nicknames)it’s about what you want. And then I would be like well I don’t want anything don’t waste your money on me. I know I know you’re all probably wondering,”Mofo what’s wrong with you they want to get you something… shut your face and just tell them what you want!” Listen to me people this is all apart of the plan! I must start off being humble and then progress to my ever growing Christmas list.
Fast forward to about mid-November and this is where the hints start to fly! Let’s say I’m with my mom at Target and we walk by the scarves and hats and gloves and all those pretty accessories, I would casually pick the scarf/hat/glove set that matches and be like “mom isn’t this cute!!! Doesn’t it make me look fierce! Omg feel how soft and warm this is. I think this would look awesomeballz with my coat, and just think of how WARM it will keep me on those COLD, WINTER, SNOWY, BELOW ZERO days” (you know you have to throw in the possibility of catching an pneumonia (please pronounce this properly… the P is not silent here!). Then I would look at the price a be like “WTF! I’d rather freeze my nips then buy this sh🌙t.” Then put it back and look at it longingly while you walk away. This approach works well with everything. Just make sure you find something to make the parentals think that they could possibly be saving your life, but it has to relate to what you want… nah mean.
Fast forward about a week or so to Thanksgiving, and the parentals ask again what I would want for Christmas in a casual convo over dinner or dessert or getting wasted. And I tell them guys I don’t need anything, don’t worry, save your money and buy yourselves something magical. I flip flop a lot during the holiday season. I want to be an amazing daughter and not have them waste their money on me, but at the same time I’m like “I’m your amazing daughter waste ALL your money on me.” Like in everyday life I am also indecisive about what kind of daughter I am.
Fast forward to around this time in December. I am no longer subtle, I’m actually extremely obvious at this point. Please refer to the text convo with my mum, da, and brov. (If you haven’t realized this by now I really wish I had an amazing accent).
When desperation kicks in and the thought of you having to pay almost $200 for a ticket you stop caring about being surprised with your presents and just want exactly what you want so you can spend more money buying sh🌙t you don’t need at Universal.
Well that’s all folks!
Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily (guys this will be my first time EVER going to Universal and I’m so freaking excited! YAAAAASSSSSS!!!!)
I’ve finally done something I’ve been wanting to do for a very long time! I had my first FOUR course meal and it was just as freaking magical as I thought it would be! “But Emily where and how did you get this magnificent dinner? Did you go on a date with a super fancy Doctor…Lawyer…Super Rich Guy… Derek Jeter?” You ask. Weeeeeellll no it wasn’t a date but I’m flattered you think it was any of those four options. How I had this magical journey of food was through my jobs Christmas Dinner! I was living the fancy life on Friday night people!!!
My night started off like this… I walked into this beautiful restaurant called Grissini. As my coworkers and I walked through the restaurant towards our seating area our nostrils were basking in all the wonderfully delicious smells. When we got to our reserved room we saw the beauty that awaited us. Looking around I noticed names situated on different tables and as I walked through the room I found my name beautifully printed in black (please see picture below as reference). As I sat in my seat I noticed the menu on my plate (also see same picture below as reference) and the page was filled with such deliciousness. While I sat talking to my coworkers a waiter came and asked us what we would like to drink (thank god he started at the other end of my table because once I heard people ordering alcoholic beverages I was like HELL YES!! If he would’ve started with me I would’ve just gotten water and what a waste of free alcohol that would’ve been). I told our waiter, Michael Angelo (might or might not be his real name… or maybe just one of those names is his real name… you shall never know!! Bwuhahahaha) that I’ll have a glass of… Riesling (I know fancy as fuck right). As the night progressed and meal after meal was placed in front of me I thought to myself… DAAAAYUMMM I need to do this shit more often.
And that is how I Emily had my fanciest moment thus far… hopefully there’s some more fancy coming my way… nah mean!
Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( I now know how people can do multiple courses… the food comes in rather small portions… but I’d still do that shit again!)
Hello and welcome to our new Blog night!!!! Yay Sunday!!!!
Well this week has been kinda crappy. I’ve been sickly all week, and I even had to go to the doctors and I hate going to the Doctors… Which is pretty funny because I work at a doctors office, but I get paid there so it doesn’t bother me as much. Today is actually the first day that I feel almost 100% better… I’m like at a solid 90% just a little flemy and throat scratchy and I guess I have the medicine the doctor prescribed to thank for that, but I still don’t like it!
The only real upside to this week was hanging out with my slutties and sluttos(male slutties) last night for our 3rd annual Christmas party. We started this get together obviously 3 years ago, and it was so much fun.
Our first year was hosted at my house and the theme was Christmas/New Years because a lot was going on in that year and we knew we weren’t going to be able to get all together again to celebrate both holidays, so I decided that we would celebrate both in one night. For the first half of our night we had Santa Hats and gave each other presents and watched the first half of the Sound of Music. Once the intermission happened in the Sound of Music we switched to our Happy New Year hats and toasted to a new year… Then we sat down and watched the rest of the Sound of Music. If you were wondering the boys weren’t invited that first year.
The next year our party was hosted by Sluttie McSlutterson and it was an Ugly Christmas Sweater theme… Of course I waited till the last minute to buy a sweater, but that’s my usual. Last year we decorated out own ginger bread cookies. Everyone’s cookies were cute, but all I’m saying is mine was the best…sorry I had a little Kanye West moment… Although I did do some Picasso like work on it… Si Magnifique (I know your jealous, I’m super trilingual… Okay not really I google translated).
This year our theme was Christmas themed Pajama party and was hosted by Boobielicious. Even though I couldn’t stay long because my medicine was making me sleepy, I still had a lot of fun with everybody. Last night was the first time all of us have hung out in a long time. Well that’s all I have for tonight till next Sunday!
Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( this freaking weather is bananas!!)
I’m hearing that this Justin Bieber album is amazing… Idk how I feel about this I might actually have to go and buy this dudes album. If I buy it I’ll let you know if I must stop drinking the haterade and become a Belieber ( which I highly doubt but I might end up disliking him less).
Any way on to today’s topic. I’ve been thinking of starting a podcast… I have no clue what it would be about, buuuuut I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time. A couple of months ago I mentioned this to my parents and brother, and right away Papa Moon and Snot Rocket (my brother) were like YAAAAASSSS we should do that! When they said this I was like hold up what’s this We nonsense you speak of… Of course that was said in the comfort of my noggin not to be said aloud. Anyway we ( when I say we I mean my dad, my brother and my self… My mom just sat there shaking her head most likely thinking “these freaking idiots”) were super excited about this so I starting looking into different “podcast kits” on Amazon; because we were gonna start the best podcast ever because obviously were a HIGHlarious family. Like every other family, group of people or friends that think they’re the funniest people they’ve ever met… We started to talk about how funny a reality show of our family would be. Of course because this was going to happen we were already thinking about the fact that we would only be able to be aired on like HBO, STARZ, Encore idk one of those channels that allows cursing without being bleeped out because then our whole show would be a modern day silent film because we curse that much. So yea HBO, STARZ or Encore or even Pay Per View if your looking to start a reality show about a very Americanized Dominican Family (well besides my dad he’s full blow Dominican) that are from a town where it’s constantly thought to be in New York, but we’re not from NY were from fucking New Jersey how many times do I have to tell you this!!! Sorry I got a little carried away… Anywho if your looking for anything like that let me know I’ve got the perfect family for you *wink wink*.
If you were wondering I never bought any of those podcast kits I saw but I think I might get it for myself for Christmas or even a Record Player that I saw in Target and maybe some Vinyls so I can listen to them on my brand new record player that I’m thinking of buying my self for Christmas… Or even the PS4 bundle I saw in Sam’s Club with The Uncharted Trilogy or a new Labtop because my other one is no longer working. That was my subtle way of letting you know any one *cough* Mother, Father, Brother *cough* that might be reading this what I was thinking of “buying myself” for Christmas.
Well that’s all I have for now… I’ll let you know how that Bieber album is; if I buy it which I probably am because I’m hearing really great things. Damn you Biebs!!!
Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( Is it to early for my Christmas wish(want) list?)