Vino Viernes!!!

Welcome and Good Evening, I have something really special prepared for you tonight! It’s going to tickle your pickle, it’s going be like the Goose that gets you feeling loose, it’s going dittle your skittle, it’s going to blah blah your blah blah… Sorry I ran out of random sayings. Anyway there’s really nothing special tonight I just wanted to get everyone hyped up. I’m sorry I did that I can be such an asshole. It might actually (must say with British accent) be Delilah (my alter ego) since its been a very long time since she came out to play. When she doesn’t get out much she starts to randomly seep into my everyday life, and that’s not good because this bitch is reckless. I find it so funny that my alter ego decided to name herself Delilah… Like why couldn’t she think of something more fun. Look at Beyoncé bro her alter egos name is Sasha Fierce… It’s amazing!! This is why Beyoncé is the Queen! My life goal is to one day be so incredibly famous that phones auto correct my name like they do with Beyoncé. I’ve spelled her name so many times that it’s started to look like it’s spelled incorrectly.imageSoooo tonight’s wine is Cabernet Sauvignon from Sweet Bitch! I’ve never had Cabernet Sauvignon before, but I just assumed that it was a dry wine! I feel like all wines that have a fancy name are dry… Clearly I know a lot about wines. Any way this wine was incredibly sweet. It was so sweet that it felt dry if that makes any type of sense. I love the sweeter wines but this shit was like have a shit of the sweetest syrup ( I can’t think of any syrup right now… I think I’m having a surfer overload). I had everybody in my house try this wine and everyone made the same face. Their faces was as if they had just bit into a slice of lemon! My parents were even saying that this wine could give you a good case of the diarrhea. If your into really sweet wines than this brand is for you because all the bottles I saw said a Smooth and Sweet.

Today my mother and I realized we can no longer go shopping together because we enable each other to buy random things we don’t need! Our original plan tonight was to go get dinner and then go buy another beach chair for this weekend. So after we went to dinner we stopped at Sam’s Club we ended up walking back out because they didn’t have anything. Next we went to Walmart ,which is right next to Sam’s, we walked around aimlessly until we came upon the beach chairs… I had to do some climbing but we found what we needed and we got the hell out of there because shit got crazy. You know if your in Walmart to long shit gets crazy!!!

While we were in Walmart I was telling my mom that I need to buy a suitcase for my trip to California next month, so she suggested we go to BJ’s. We went to BJ’s looked at the sit cases for like two seconds (because they were crazy expensive) and almost walked out with a supersize bag of peanut M&Ms, an oversized beach towel, some random tub mat and a new shower head for my bathroom ( that was like 50 bucks… I was willing to pay $50 for a shower head I don’t need instead of buying a suitcase I do need, I sometimes don’t understand my own logic) any way thank god those longs were long and we put everything back where we didn’t find them (sorry BJ’s workers, I know we’re such assholes).

Any-who after we leave BJ’s Mama Moon and I go to Burlington Coat Factory ( I don’t think that’s the name anymore, it might just be Burlington), so while we walk around there looking suitcases ( which were just as expensive as BJ’s) we find a section of paintings and photographs… So basically we walked out of Burlington without the suitcase, but I did get three new paintings for my room. I like to call it the Wino Wall!!imageLove Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( the lady at the liquor store lied to me, she said the wine would be dry! How can I ever trust her again!)

Vino Viernes!!!

AAAAAAHHHHH…. I’m sooooo freaking glad it’s Friday!!! I started out today in a perfectly good mood, and then it gradually went down the poop shoot. I thought everything was gonna be all good… There was no traffic I got to work super early, and because of that I got to take a quick cat nap. So I was super duper happy! Then I walked into the office and found out the AC was broken or some crap like that!! WTF!!! It was cooler outside than it was inside that office!! Of course this would happen on the day I decided to wear a half sleeve shirt… Sure it might have been super thin material and slightly seen through (don’t worry I’m super professional and wore a tank top under… I’m only slightly sluttie after work hours). Any way I was still sweating profusely! I am not a happy person when I’m HOT!!!! I get extremely cranky. My day was just blah after that. The only thing I had to look forward to was this big ass fan we have in the hall way, and every time I walked by it I felt like Sasha Fierce ( Beyoncés alter ego). All the single ladies all the single ladies all the single ladies now put your hands up!!

On to why we’re really here… VINO VIERNES!!! Today I’m having Barefoots deliciously sweet Moscato. As you all know by now I’m obsessed with Barefoot and would never say anything bad about any of its wines. Also this wine is amazing anyway so I have nothing bad to say even if I wanted to. For those of you that didn’t Moscato pairs perfectly with mild cheese… The bottle said so, and because the bottle said it I had to have some cheese with my wine today. It might not have been mild because it was mozzarella string cheese…cheese is cheese and I love it as much as I love wine!

I’m still super Grumpy Magee and hot so I’m out this piece… And I’m going to go see Grease and this movie night in the park my town is having!!! GREASE LIGHTENING GO GO GO GO GO GOGO GO GOGO GREASE LIGHTENING YOUR BURNING UP HE QUARTER MILE!! That’s just a sample of what I’ll be doing to night!!! Singing at the top of my lungs!!!

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( it’s electrifying!!! If you’ve seen Grease than you’ll know!!)

image

Vino Viernes!!!

Holy sweet heavenly goodness in a glass of AWESOME!!! This wine is sooooo freaking AMAZEBALLZ, I thinks I just fell in LURVE!! I’m so In love right now that I’m just gonna sing for you!!! “Im in love with the VI-NO, Vi-no, I got for the Low low( must be sung in that I’m in love with the CoCo way)… Got me looking so crazy right now this WINE got me looking so crazy right now… This WINE is on FIIIIIYAAAAH… This wine is on Fiiiiyaaaaaah… I am in love with you, You set me free, I can’t do this thing call drinking with out you here with me… Hey delicious Vino let me whisper in your ear, tell you some things you might like to hear… Tonight I’ll be your naughty girl, I’m not calling any of my girls cuz I want you to myself, because your so delicious.” This medley is dedicated to Barefoots Rosa Red Blend!!! I just want to say I’ve never met a wine that just knows me like you do… Your my wine soulmate/bottle. I’d like to take this time to thank: the guy who raps that CoCo song (sorry I don’t know your name), Alicia Keys, the Ying Yang Twins and of course Beyoncé for those wonderful renditions, Rosa Red Blend and I thank you very much.

Sorry I got carried away, but I’m telling you this wine is sooooo good!!! It’s sweet but not to sweet ( like I likes it… I was trying to think of something naughty to say but it didn’t make any sense) and the best part it’s bubble-y toooooooo ( I put extra Os because I’m not sure if it’s this to or this too… So I make it extra!!!).
I was totally gonna write something else, but I’m so in love right now I don’t want to ruin the moment, and I also might have forgotten what I was gonna write.

Ooo okay so today… I took another quiz!!!! You just know that “these are a few of my favorite things” ( brief cameo from Julie Andrews… The goddess I pray to, as Fräulein Mary from The Sound of Music). As I was saying, taking quizzes is my favorite thing to do in the world… Besides drinking this Vino. Today’s quiz was, What is your southern name? When I saw this I was like HECK FREAKING YEAH I NEED TO KNOW WHAT MY SOUTHERN NAME IS!!! It’s as amazing as I thought it would be. My southern name is Savannah Summers. I just freaking love it!! The best thing about this was that my mom actually wanted to name me Summer. Just in case you don’t remember I’m Hispanic, Dominican to be exact… Yes I might be the most Americanized Dominican I’ve ever met, but I still think Summer would’ve pushed me over the edge. But I do love it as my southern last name it just flows… I wanna say this was the Gods and Goddesses of Mount Olympus’s way of letting me know that Summer is destined to be apart of me. Well it’s time for me to go have a romantic evening with my vino… I’m going to need a do not disturb sign!

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( but you can call me lover of Rose Red Blend, or Savannah Summers. Whatever tickles your pickle)

image

I won the Lotto… Or I thought I did!

Soooo today I’ve decided to tell you the time I thought I won the lotto! A couple of weeks ago I had this crazy dream that I won the Cash 4 Life (when you win $1,000 a day for the rest of your life…pretty freaking sweet!!). I know I was freaking jumping off, I mean literally jumping off the walls. I was practically levitating, that probably should have clued me in that I was dreaming, but my dream felt so realistic. You know what else should have helped me realize that I was dreaming; was the fact that after I looked at the numbers on my lotto ticket and realized I won, my bank account balance became rather large extremely quick (which of course I wasn’t complaining). I’m pretty sure though that that’s not how it works. Like I don’t think the NJ Lotto Department (whatever the heck they’re called) has your bank info and just direct deposits the money to your account…or does it, because I’ve never won so I probably shouldn’t be talking all this caca.

In my dream I was feeling extremely generous. I paid off all my parents bills, they’re house, they’re cars, I paid off all of they’re debt and I sent them on some extravagant vacation. Another reason I should have known this was a dream…not that I wouldn’t do all that for them because I would in a heart beat if I had the money, but I know that Daddy Moon wouldn’t be caught dead on an air plane. If he can’t drive there he ain’t going (his words not mine). As I was saying I was feeling so generous that after I paid off all of my bills and all that school loan debt…(Dear Sallie Mae, I hate your sinking guts, you make me vomit, you’re the scuuuum between my toes. Love (Hate you) Emily… I freaking love The Little Rascals). What the heck was I saying again…ooo right so after I paid off all my stuff I decided I would pay off my brothers’ debt and pay for my cousins tuition. I know what your thinking… Gosh Darn it even in this wonderful womans dream state she is still the kindest, most generous, most AWESOME soul you’ll ever meet in your freaking life. I wish I could meet her, she sounds amazeballz. The next morning when I woke up, Ladies tell’em I woke up like this…I woke up like this…FLAWLESS (thank you Queen B…Beyonce for those of you that don’t know…and you should be ashamed if you didn’t know who I was talking about… shame shame shame), sorry you should know by now I can’t help breaking out into song and movie quotes
(it’s the tiny Performer I keep in my pocket that just needs to be let free). So when I woke up I was so freaking excited I went straight from my phone, you’d think I’d check my bank account…NOPE, I checked Instagram first… I’m telling you Instagram is a drug, and I’m a freaking addict!

Any who after I checked Instagram, and realized at 6:30 in the morning people are usually still sleeping and no ones really Instagraming (should there be two M’s..Instagramming?), I checked my bank account super excited to find all this dough…TO HAVE MY DREAM SHATTERED… I was just as broke as I was when I first went to sleep. What a freaking horrible way to start off your day, am I right? And on top of everything else it was Monday and that on itself is a suckfest. After I convinced myself not to throw my phone across the room (because obviously it wasn’t the phones fault that my bank account didn’t know that the dream should have been real…I’m totes not over it if you couldn’t tell), so I talked my self off the ledge, and started wondering what I would really do if I won the Lotto. I hope that I can be just as good a person as my dream self was. I know I would definitely do anything and everything I can for my parents, but I hope I can somehow help other people in need, that would be an amazing feeling. Well thanks for getting through this re-telling of my dream… your lucky, my dream used to be much more detailed when I was younger. I would’ve had you here for days.

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,

Emily (Still broke as hell…but loving my life)

PS. What would you do if you won the Lotto? (ponder that, shall we)