Worst Week Ever!

Well this week has been a miserable one. Last weekend me and my mom decided to go on a diet. So you know its been a week without any sweets, and all the delicious non healthy things. I don’t mind eating healthier, I like veggies and fruits, and I don’t even mind not having carbs all the time. The thing that is making this torture is what my mother told me on Friday.

Friday night my parents and I went to Outback, my usual reaction would be like hell yeah free food and drinks… buuuuuut then again I’m on a diet and can’t have my Alice Springs Chicken Quesadilla. So I went with steak and some steamed veggies crap, but I was still okay with that because I was gonna have either a big glass of beer or my favorite a frozen peach Bellini (its called a Wally-B Darned but I’m not sure if I spelled it right). As I was saying I was cool not having my usual because I was gonna get my drink on.

Do you want to know what my mother said to me. She said I can’t have any delish alcoholic beverages while being on this diet… Blasphemy!! I felt scandalized, how could she say such horrid things to me. To clarify I asked if that also meant my most beloved Vino, Wine, Deliciousness in a bottle as well. She had the audacity to say yup nothing with alcohol those are empty calories, EMPTY CALORIES!! HOW RUDE. I know right, ¬†how dare my mom say such mean things about something I love. Wine has never did me dirty… I cant say the same for other alcohol related things, because one to many shots and who knows what I’ll do or who I’ll become. But wine, that’s my home girl/home boy/best friends I ever had. I don’t consider wine alcohol; wine is just grape juice with a kick you know grown-up grape juice or something. It does magical things.

I told my mom that I’d just have beer, wine and deeeelish peach Bellini’s for dinner. I didn’t think it was a bad idea, but Mama Moon didn’t approve of this idea. so basically this week really just turned to crap on Friday night when I was told that I’m not allowed to have Alcohol. Whoa is me… What kind of world do we live in that drinking has calories in the first place. don’t even start with the skinny girl drinks, I’d rather drink gasoline then that crap. Well I’m off to have another miserable week. See ya next Sunday.

Love Ya from The Moon and Back,

Emily (I hope everyone is enjoying their wings and other scrumptious foods you’ll be eating on this fine Super Bowl Sunday; while I sit here eating celery and carrots and waiting for the Half-Time show… where you know Queen Bey is going to Slay.)

Now Accepting Boyfriend Applications!

I swears I don’t recognize myself any more… It’s like my personality has been altered. I know I’ve said this a couple times before, but I’ve been extra emotional lately. It’s gotten to the point where I’m freaking crying from a freaking gum commercial. I can’t lie though that Xtra (Extra… Idk how to spell it) gum commercial where these two people meet in high school and have a relationship and all that good stuff, but throughout the whole relationship the guy draws out all the most memorable parts on the wrapper of the gum that the girl gives him, and
At the end of the commercial the guy (I’m assuming) rents out a store front and sets it up like a gallery with all the pictures he’s drawn of their relationship and while the girl is going down memory lane she gets to one of the guy down in one knee and she’s like HOLY SHIT ( you know her facial expression says this) and she turns around and the guy is down on one knee proposing… It’s so freaking adorable, and it makes me all happy inside I literally smile throughout the whole commercial and of course the tears start to come down. Then I’m there in my room talking to myself like wow this guy is a freaking keeper, and damn that’s so beautiful. Also there’s the asshole in me that’s like dude you could’ve at least taking up some drawing classes. Well you get what I’m trying to say, I be crying a lot lately.

That’s not the only thing that’s been changing about me. I’ve noticed that I’m a lot more irritable. Everything freaking annoys the shit out of me. I have to remind myself to calm the hell down. I never used to be this way. It used to take a lot for me to want to punch somebody in the throat, but now just breathing near me might be the end of your life. I think this change in moods is what has me so antisocial more than ever. I’ve always been slightly antisocial… Don’t judge me I like to be home; I figure the more I’m home the less money I spend. But for the past couple of weeks I honestly haven’t wanted to be near anyone… Well besides my momma and my dad those two crack me up. I miss my old self where even when I didn’t want to go out I would at least slightly try to talk my self into going out… Now I’m just like you right we can just stay home and watch the Hallmark Channel all day; who needs friends or even finding a boyfriend when you can watch people fall in love, while your at home alone being all lonely and ridiculously single.

If you haven’t noticed I’m super single… So yea I’m taking applications for potential boyfriends. There are only three… No five requirements.
1. Must be at least 25 years of age or older to apply.
2. Must have a job ( legal…illegal whatever floats your boat)
3. Must laugh at everything funny I say… Or else!
4. Must be sarcastic; I can’t have people going home crying because you think I was an asshole.
5. The most important one… Must support my drinking habits.

Well…
Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( Happy Early Birthday to Momma Moon… Love you Mommy!!)