Newport, You Were A Beaut!!

Every time I visit a new city, I’m reminded of how badly I wish I was a gypsy, nomad, or honestly super f🌙cking rich so I can continuously travel around the world and not have to worry about a job and all that boring adult stuff. You’re probably wondering “Emily where the f🌙ck did that come from?” Well, I’m glad you asked. Last weekend I was in a magical place called Newport, Rhode Island. If you remember from last year (you probably don’t because I barely remember it) my slutties and I had a girls weekend getaway in the beautiful (slightly chilly but still beautiful) Salem, Massachusetts. With this new girls weekend getaway tradition, this year as I said before we went to the magical land of mermaids aka Newport, Rhode Island!

As a courtesy to all you lovely peeps I’ve decided to compile a list called “If you’re planning a trip to Newport here is what you should know” I know super catchy right…. I’m really good and making list titles, me thinks me missed me calling.

1. Don’t drive to Newport when it’s dark out. You see I don’t think they believe in street lights. When me and my slutties started our adventure to the isle of le mermaids we left a tad bit late. Just so you have an estimate of how far we are from Newport it took us roughly 9,000 hours to get there. Okay you caught me it didn’t take that long but that’s how long it took us to get out of Connecticut. There’s no need for CT to be that long. Moral of this story is don’t drive in the dark…it sucks.

2. Newport is beautiful! I love the ease I felt when I was there. Living close to NYC everything and everyone is always on the move, but being in Newport it was like I was in a whole other world. Everything was very chill (literally and figuratively) but I think what added to that feeling was being surrounded by water. I don’t know if you know this but I love the water… it might be the Dominican in me that feels closer to her homeland by being near water but I love being by the water. Whenever I can I try to go down by the river and I just get this sense of calm whenever I’m there. Annnnyyyyyway, Newport gives you a very mellow feeling… it could’ve also been the fact that it was freezing out and there weren’t a lot of people out and about, but i like to think it was probably a mix of both (aka the freezing temperatures).

3. Whilst on your visit to Newport you should most definitely visit and have wine tastings at their many vineyards. Me and the slutties went to a vineyard called Greenvale Vineyards. It was the best time ever. We sipped on different wines and made believe like we were connoisseurs and we were saying things like “this has an oaky taste” and “oh wow you can really taste the oak in this one”. Listen that is the only thing I know about wines! Don’t judge me! As I was saying we had a really great time walking through the vines… don’t tell anyone but we even tasted the grapes of one of the wines we had tasted and it tasted nothing like the wine but the grapes were pretty delish!

4. If you’re going to go to Newport or any place with your friends, just go with people you know you’ll have a good time with and don’t mind the smell of your farts. That’s all you need in a good road trip. OH you also need snacks because then those people you thought were gonna be fun actually suck because your not on a sugar high. Good thing Big Booty Judy brought the goods with her.

Well my little world travelers that is all I have for thee.

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,

Emily (please enjoy a few of the beautiful pictures by the best photographer I know… ME!! Bwuahahaha… to see more go to the Life As A Moon instagram: @lifeasamoon)

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