Soooo I’ve found out some serious sh🌙t about my self! When I’m around flies I turn into a raging, vicious fly murdering psycho. “Emily, how did you find this out?” Well ”tis the season of gnats (please pronounce with a hard G) and other flying insects and some of them decided to take up residence in Mi Casa (my house). Yesterday I finally bought a fly swatter and I have been having a grand ole time with it. BUT before I had this swatter I was killing these mofos with my bare hands! Three things have come about because of these invaders.
1. My reflexes are on another level!!! I see one of those mofos flying around and the next thing you know the woosh (that’s the sounds of my hand flying through the air) Gnat dead! So for that I thank thee intruders.
2. My eyesight and focus are amazing! I can follow those fast flying little f🌙ckers around the room. I just wait and watch them until they land some where and BAM!!! You dead little Gnat!! So thank you for making me better at life.
3. I’m slightly paranoid that the ones I haven’t killed are plotting against me to take over! That’s really my driving force, what if I don’t kill them and they decide to ban together and form one big ass GNAT and attack me and my family! All them little f🌙ckers gots to go… THEY GOTS YO GOOOOO! It’s me or them. Survival of the fittest Bitches!!!
Well now that you all know I’m a raging lunatic I shall be gone now!
Love Ya from the Moon and Back,Emily (quick tip I figured out that if you wrap your fly swatter with tape it’s easier to kill the flies, that way they don’t have a chance to escape through the little slits in the swatter part… nah mean! 😈)
P.S … Ooooo how I wish there was a fly swatter big enough for those alt-right, white nationalist, racist bigots! I must digress and think peaceful thoughts because Game Of Thrones is on in less than and hour and I must be mentally prepared.