Month: October 2016

Stranger Things in My Walls

I was just going through my previous posts and I’m freaking HIGHlarious!!! I literally cracked myself up… gosh I should be a comedian. 

I’ve been looking for a new series to get into, and I’ve talked to my brother about it a couple times and he’s like “Yo watch Stranger Things that shows amazing!” The first time he told me about this was when the show first came out in Netflix. For those who know me know (and for those who don’t you shall find out now) I don’t invest myself into any shows without knowing for a fact that there will be a hot guy for me to fall in love with. Like why waste my time if there isn’t something delicious to look at. So I told my brother yea I’ll check it out… and I never did until last weekend.I was super bored and super broke so I couldn’t go out, so I turned to Netflix to see what they had. That’s when my brothers comments about Stranger Things and honestly I had also seen the cast on Jimmy Fallon and totally fell in love with them… they were so cute!! Oh and after Millie Bobby Brown (aka Eleven) rapped Nicki Minaj’s verse from Monster I just had watch it now! So I was going into this thinking ok just watch an episode or two and then go to sleep because it was waaaaaay past my bedtime ( it was 10pm when I started this show sooooo yea pretty late). After I finished the first episode I couldn’t STOP!!! Next thing I know I hear freaking birds chirping and my brother coming home for his night time shenanigans. I’m sitting in the middle of my bed hugging my pillow and trying not to make any direct eye contact with the freaking walls in my room. 
Basically this freaking show is incredible, and now I’m convinced that my bathroom walls have something in them… don’t believe just look at this freaking picture! There’s a freaking face in there and not just any face but a child’s face!!! Kids are hands down the scariest things ever!!
Well it is time for me to go eat some din din… I say good day!

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,

Emily ( I wonder how I would look with my head shaved)

To Vote or Not To Vote?

Before I get into what I wanted to talk about I just wanted to tell you a little story. 

A couple of days ago (Thursday just in case you were wondering what day I don’t want anyone distracted from my story thinking the whole time… “gosh darn it what day Emily, What day? Don’t leave me in this kind of suspense”… so for all you Curious George’s (and when I say George I don’t mean people specifically named George… I’m just referring to the little monkey in the yellow raincoat and hat) out there… it was this past Thursday).

So as I was saying a couple of days ago I went to Sista from anotha Mista’s( I honestly don’t remember how I originally spelled her name so it could also be Sister from another Mister) house because we watch Greys and I also go to spend time with my Nephew and Niece (and yes I consider myself their aunt because as her name clearly states we be sisters! In conclusion I am their aunt… so stop questioning me.. gosh!). Anywho as we were watching tv my niece was sitting on my lap and going through the pictures on my phone (don’t worry it was totally PG stuff… I always delete the naughty pics… which I should really go through my recently deleted folder). As my niece (lets call her Charlotte) was going through my pics she found photos of herself and her brother (lets call him Emilio), and her reactions were the cutest ever I just wanted to eat her little nugget face. Then she landed ( or I might’ve showed her) a picture of Derek Jeter ( don’t judge me I’m sure I had that photo there because I was just telling someone how much I love him or some other totally logical reason) while she kept looking at it I told her that that was her Tio (uncle) and she believed me and now for the rest of her life she’ll believe that her Tia (aunt) Emily is married to Tio Derek Jeter… well until her mother spoils that dream for me because she’s not the biggest Derek Jeter fan, but I will continue to show Charlotte that picture of Jeter and continuously remind her that he is her Tio. 

Now on to what I wanted to write about. Throughout this presidential race people have asked me who I was voting for, and to be completely honestly I had no clue until a couple of days ago. I feel like I didn’t know enough about what was going on to make an educated decision, and actually I still don’t. I know, I know that’s horrible I should know what’s going on not only in the world, but especially what’s going on in my country. 

Because I don’t know what each candidate represents other than the more outrageous things that certain candidates have said and done, I decided to base my vote off of common sense. I feel between these two candidates I’m going to vote for the the one who has experience in politics, someone who’s actually been in situations where tough decisions needed to be made for our country. Being the President of the United States is like any other job… first you start off as an intern and then work your ass off to get to that top position and learn everything you possibly can along the way. So based off that alone I know exactly who I’m voting for. I’m voting for the candidate who worked her way through the political latter to get to where she is today. 
Love Ya from the Moon and Back,

Emily ( I already know that Derek Jeter is married, but I don’t care I will always love him!)

Pros And Cons Of Being A Lady!

So I started thinking of pros and cons for this topic last week, and I only came up with 3 pros (which I thought of today so this should be fun) and a shit load of cons. So lets get this party started on a sunday (I know it should be saturday but for todays purpose it shall be sunday) night …even though I miss Pink from the 2000’s; I can’t lie I still like this song. Of course this will be in my beloved list form:

 Pros:

1. Cloths, Shoes, Jewelry and of course Purses

2. Getting Mani and Pedis… LOVE!

3. Getting to eat anything you want when you’re on your period or even when you’re pregnant, so you can blame it on either one and no one can judge you.

 Cons:

1. Lets Start of with one of the three P’s. PAIN (we have to go through so much freaking pain at least once a month or during freaking giving birth! WTF)

2. Periods or if you’d like to be more technical Menstrual Cycle ( I just got over this one a couple of days ago so I’d rather not talk about it).

3. Now for the big P… Pregnancy. I know its suppose to be the most beautiful thing and then the whole miracle of life and all that good stuff, but honestly if there wasn’t nausea and the freaking pain of child birth then I’d put it on the Pro side.

4. Shaving. I just got out of an hour shower because I was shaving my freaking life away, because I must take VAnessa GINA to the doctor tomorrow. Ok the whole shaving might/could possibly be partly my fault; I let my legs turn legs turn into animals, but come on I’m done with this shaving shit!

5. Waxing. Why can’t I  just live my life as a hairy beast, why do I put myself through the torture of getting hair fucking ripped off my face and other areas (even though I’m way to scared of the pain to put my poor Vanessa Gina through that).

 There are way more cons than this buuuuuut I didn’t want this to turn into a long winded whine feast. So that’s all folks.

 Love Ya from the Moon and Back,

Emily (I don’t really mind being a lady I’ve had 26 years to get used to it

WTF, There’s another Zodiac Sign?

Helloooooo October!!! Helloooo Fall aka the second best season of the year (obviously after spring because hellur that’s the season that saw the birth of the most Awesomeballz Lady in all the Universes… NO it’s not Queen Elizabeth even though she could be 3rd on the list because we share the same birthday… but who I was referring to earlier was wait for it… ME!!!!!!). Wow that was probably the longest one I’ve ever done!! Good job Em! Anywho I was just came by to say Hi and also write about this nonsense of a new Zodiac sign that I’ve been hearing about!
So I first heard of this phenomenon from my coworkers some time last week I think ( honestly days just kind of blur into one another so I’m never sure what day is what… well aside from today because I know I go back to work tomorrow. Sucks!). So this new sign messes up the whole line up man! Apparently the sign has been around for ever but people just over looked homeboy! By the way homeboys name is Ophiuchus (pronounced oh-fuck-us…HAAA! ok that’s not how the pronunciation is spelled, But it does sound similar). Couldn’t they give the 13th sign a better name something easier to spell and say!
So basically with this 13th sign all the Zodiac signs we’ve been for all our lives has been changed!!!! Hell NAH!!! I’ve been a Taurus for 26 years and that shit is not going to change!!! Buuuuut with Oh-Fuck-Us always having been around it makes sense why those so called “lucky numbers” never gave me any luck! You know what though I don’t care I refuse to be a freaking Aries(no offense to Aries people but Taurus for life!). I have come up with a solution if they really want to use this new sign (that’s been around as long as the other 12 signs but just ignored, awww poor Oh-Fuck-Us) they can start the new 13 Zodiacs with the new generation of baby nuggets. That way we who have had our signs for life can stay with our beloved signs.
Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( TAURUS , TAURUS, TAURUUUUUS!!!)