Month: May 2016

Hair Salon Chronicles!

I was on a little hiatus these past couple of week…. Okay okay you caught me I might’ve slightly forgot to write (even with several alarms going off to remind me) but it has been pretty hectic Sundays. Two Sunday’s ago it was Mother’s Day and then last Sunday was you know the Sunday after Mother’s Day. Okay fine no more excuses. I FORGOT!!! I’m very forgetful these days I think I have pregnancy brain or something. Before anyone gets cray I’m not pregnant, but I might be sympathy pregnant. How?, you ask. My coworker is pregnant and I think she passed on pregnancy stuff to me. Or it could just be side effects of the new birth control pills I’m taking, same difference ( bwuhahahaha I cracks myself up).

A while ago I wrote about how I think elevators are possible the most awkward situation anyone could be in, but me thinks me found something slightly more awkward. Getting ones hair done at a hair salon is super freaking awkward. Okay so the whole experience isn’t all that bad. Who doesn’t love not having to wash and dry their own hair… It’s freakin magical ( with a price… Obviously). Anywho as I was saying the most awkward part of getting ones hair done is when your hair stylist is  drying/cutting the front part of your hair because she is standing really close to you and her boobies are in your face. Like honestly where do you look I feel very weird just staring straight ahead at her chesticles. So I came up with two possible solutions but only one really works so basically I only came up with one possible solution. The first one that doesn’t really work is to look down instead of straight ahead, but that could also possibly get weird because then you’d be staring at home girls crotch. The next best thing is you must close your eyes until she’s done, and try not to fall asleep because when anyone is touching my hair and I have my eyes closed I’m knocking the fuck out! Well my peaches and creams that’s all for today’s episode of hairdresser chesticles!

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( I totes only remembered to write today because I might have received a strongly worded letter aka an email asking me where the fuck I be)

Tori Kelly is a Boss!!

I feel like going to a concert is like studying for a big test. You spend all week listening to every song they ever made so you can sing along the whole time. It was exhausting but fantabulouso! “Ain’t nobody love, ain’t nobody love like you do… It’s should’ve been us, shoulda been a fire, shoulda been the perfect storm, it should’ve been us, coulda been the real thing… Only your love could fill up my cup cuz I’m hollooooooooow yea I’m holloooouhuhoooow…was it real or was it all in my head, she’s so pretty you to look so great it’s time for me to move on now it was probably just some silly crush anyway.” So I was totally at Tori Kelly’s Unbreakable Concert on Friday and it was freaking amazing!!! She is incredible, her voice gave me goose bumps the whole time!! If you haven’t jumped on the Tori Kelly Train hurry up and do it l, you don’t know what your missing!

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Sooooo my trip to DR was AMAZEBALLZ!! Me and Sluttie McSlutterson hung out at the pool all weekend and drank alot of Banana Mamas (which are freaking DEEELISH!!!). One of the days we went to this little baby nugget island called Cayo Arena, which is absolutely beautiful. I got to snorkel and see so many beautiful colors of the coral reef and the most amazing fishes. I was hoping I would get to see a few turtles, but I didn’t which ultimately might’ve been a good thing because I don’t think a Sea Turtle would’ve passed customs or fit in my carry on. Basically I had the best Birthday ever, helped me forget that I’m four years closer to 30… Ooo god it hurts my soul just thinking about it. Well that’s all I have for you today.

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily (if you ever get a chance to go to DR you must go to Cayo Arena it’s freaking magical!!)