Month: November 2015

Emily’s Thanksgiving of Thankfulness List!

In the spirit of Thanksgiving all I’m going to do tonight is make a list of the things I am thankful for, we shall call this list Emily’s Thanksgiving of Thankfulness List ( I know I know your super jealous of how my incredibly creative mind works).

1. The most important thing I’m thankful for is obviously my Awesomeness. Although if it weren’t for my parents I guess I wouldn’t be this awesome. In that case I’m most definitely grateful for my mommy and daddy. Without their individual Awesomness none of my super duper Awesomeness would exist, and that would just be super sad.

2. I’m thankful for my brothers ( I consider my cousin my brother so this thanksgiving he has been upgraded… Your welcome Saca Moco) without those two mofos, my life would’ve been rather dull and boring. Making fun of them is what I live for and without them I would have to be nice and make actual friends I’m not related to.

3. I’m thankful for my friends/slutties/sisters/boysters(boy sisters) for just being funny, crazy, sarcastic psychopaths that accept and embrace their crazy, because if not you’ll get cut from the group and there’s no coming back from that. We’ve all seen that happen, so don’t mess shit up for your selves.

4. Lastly, Im thankful for my office (my bathroom) where I write most posts from. Without this bathroom there would be no Life As A Moon because this is where all my ideas finally become something I can write about.

In all seriousness without any of the people on my list I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I am truly thankful to have each and everyone of you in my life. Without any of you I wouldn’t have anyone to laugh, cry, make up choreography to 3LW, sing, act, direct, or even watch Dancing with the Stars with. I love you all from the bottom of my heart… Especially you bathroom.

Love Ya From the Moon and Back,
Emily ( Happy Thanksgiving to all and to all a goodnight… I know that’s for Christmas but I feel like it just goes)

We’re The 3 Best Friends That Anyone Could Have!

How do I become Amy Schumer and Jennifer Lawrence’s best friend! We can make a best friend triangle of the funniest most awesome most beautiful looking uh oh Oreo but instead of it being stuffed with you know chocolate it’s stuffed with either maybe peanut butter or caramel. Any way what I’m trying to say is that we would be the best damn trio sampler ever!!! Where did this spiel come from… Well last night I was up super duper late (like 10:30ish… I’m an old lady don’t judge me) watching Amy Schumer and Jennifer Lawrence interviews and fell even more in love with them. They are HIGHlarious!

I’m having a super brain fart right now. I think just the thought of becoming Jeamily (Jennifer, Amy, Emily tripod) has short circuited my brain. All I can think of is the crazy hilarious adventures we would have and how everybody would envy the relationship we have as a unit. Im telling you it’s gonna be freaking epic.

OMYEEZUS!!! If you ever get the chance to see Aladdin on Broadway you absolutely must see it! It’s fanfuckingtastic!! The actors and actress are incredible. Aladdin and Genies voices are phenomenal. The scenes… Especially the magic carpet holy shiitake mushrooms it was fantabulous. I’m just trying to show you how many different ways I can say awesome… I know pretty impressive… Am I right. In all honesty it was the best show I’ve seen, and I’ve seen at least 3 so you know I know what I’m talking about… Hehehe.

Well peeps… Bye!

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( you know you like how I came up with that freaking name… Jeamily)

Vino Viernes/Adele Day!!

It’s Adele’s album release day, and I might be way to inebriated to make anytype of sense tonight because I will be drinking my feelings. So I’ve decided to write to you this lovely morning and let you know what my Friday night/ Saturday morning will be looking like. Well before I get to the drinking part of my night I will be going to go see ALADDIN ON BROADWAY!!!! I’m so freaking excited I’ve been wanting to see this musical since it opened on Broadway! Aaaaaahhhhhh I can’t contain all this excitement! Not only am I going to see freaking Aladdin on Broadway Adeles album 25 comes out today to… I don’t know what to do with myself!!!! If I wasn’t sitting in my car typing this I would be doing a Chinese fire drill… For those who don’t know what this is, its when the car you are in stops at a red light and everyone gets out and runs around the car and then gets back in to their seats; it’s super fun people in the other cars just look at you like your on crack. So yeah that’s just a snippet of my excitement level.

As for Saturday I’ll be nursing a hangover while watching the Hunger Games Mocking Jay Part 2!!! It’s such an eventful weekend!!

Well I gotta go to work now bye.

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( ADELE!!!!)

Life As A Moon Podcast!!!

I’m hearing that this Justin Bieber album is amazing… Idk how I feel about this I might actually have to go and buy this dudes album. If I buy it I’ll let you know if I must stop drinking the haterade and become a Belieber ( which I highly doubt but I might end up disliking him less).

Any way on to today’s topic. I’ve been thinking of starting a podcast… I have no clue what it would be about, buuuuut I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time. A couple of months ago I mentioned this to my parents and brother, and right away Papa Moon and Snot Rocket (my brother) were like YAAAAASSSS we should do that! When they said this I was like hold up what’s this We nonsense you speak of… Of course that was said in the comfort of my noggin not to be said aloud. Anyway we ( when I say we I mean my dad, my brother and my self… My mom just sat there shaking her head most likely thinking “these freaking idiots”) were super excited about this so I starting looking into different “podcast kits” on Amazon; because we were gonna start the best podcast ever because obviously were a HIGHlarious family. Like every other family, group of people or friends that think they’re the funniest people they’ve ever met… We started to talk about how funny a reality show of our family would be. Of course because this was going to happen we were already thinking about the fact that we would only be able to be aired on like HBO, STARZ, Encore idk one of those channels that allows cursing without being bleeped out because then our whole show would be a modern day silent film because we curse that much. So yea HBO, STARZ or Encore or even Pay Per View if your looking to start a reality show about a very Americanized Dominican Family (well besides my dad he’s full blow Dominican) that are from a town where it’s constantly thought to be in New York, but we’re not from NY were from fucking New Jersey how many times do I have to tell you this!!! Sorry I got a little carried away… Anywho if your looking for anything like that let me know I’ve got the perfect family for you *wink wink*.

If you were wondering I never bought any of those podcast kits I saw but I think I might get it for myself for Christmas or even a Record Player that I saw in Target and maybe some Vinyls so I can listen to them on my brand new record player that I’m thinking of buying my self for Christmas… Or even the PS4 bundle I saw in Sam’s Club with The Uncharted Trilogy or a new Labtop because my other one is no longer working. That was my subtle way of letting you know any one *cough* Mother, Father, Brother *cough* that might be reading this what I was thinking of “buying myself” for Christmas.

Well that’s all I have for now… I’ll let you know how that Bieber album is; if I buy it which I probably am because I’m hearing really great things. Damn you Biebs!!!

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( Is it to early for my Christmas wish(want) list?)

Now Accepting Boyfriend Applications!

I swears I don’t recognize myself any more… It’s like my personality has been altered. I know I’ve said this a couple times before, but I’ve been extra emotional lately. It’s gotten to the point where I’m freaking crying from a freaking gum commercial. I can’t lie though that Xtra (Extra… Idk how to spell it) gum commercial where these two people meet in high school and have a relationship and all that good stuff, but throughout the whole relationship the guy draws out all the most memorable parts on the wrapper of the gum that the girl gives him, and
At the end of the commercial the guy (I’m assuming) rents out a store front and sets it up like a gallery with all the pictures he’s drawn of their relationship and while the girl is going down memory lane she gets to one of the guy down in one knee and she’s like HOLY SHIT ( you know her facial expression says this) and she turns around and the guy is down on one knee proposing… It’s so freaking adorable, and it makes me all happy inside I literally smile throughout the whole commercial and of course the tears start to come down. Then I’m there in my room talking to myself like wow this guy is a freaking keeper, and damn that’s so beautiful. Also there’s the asshole in me that’s like dude you could’ve at least taking up some drawing classes. Well you get what I’m trying to say, I be crying a lot lately.

That’s not the only thing that’s been changing about me. I’ve noticed that I’m a lot more irritable. Everything freaking annoys the shit out of me. I have to remind myself to calm the hell down. I never used to be this way. It used to take a lot for me to want to punch somebody in the throat, but now just breathing near me might be the end of your life. I think this change in moods is what has me so antisocial more than ever. I’ve always been slightly antisocial… Don’t judge me I like to be home; I figure the more I’m home the less money I spend. But for the past couple of weeks I honestly haven’t wanted to be near anyone… Well besides my momma and my dad those two crack me up. I miss my old self where even when I didn’t want to go out I would at least slightly try to talk my self into going out… Now I’m just like you right we can just stay home and watch the Hallmark Channel all day; who needs friends or even finding a boyfriend when you can watch people fall in love, while your at home alone being all lonely and ridiculously single.

If you haven’t noticed I’m super single… So yea I’m taking applications for potential boyfriends. There are only three… No five requirements.
1. Must be at least 25 years of age or older to apply.
2. Must have a job ( legal…illegal whatever floats your boat)
3. Must laugh at everything funny I say… Or else!
4. Must be sarcastic; I can’t have people going home crying because you think I was an asshole.
5. The most important one… Must support my drinking habits.

Well…
Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( Happy Early Birthday to Momma Moon… Love you Mommy!!)

Brotherly Love!

Have you ever wondered if you’ve already met “the One” but met him/her at the wrong time in your life? Or if you’ve already met your “soulmate” but didn’t even realize it? No, so just me… Is it my loneliness aka single as Fuckness kicking in and messing with my head. That actually might be it, but I was actually thinking about my brothers life when this popped into my head, and of course it later turned into me thinking about the same things for myself, but I’ll tell you that a little later.

I guess we can start off with why I was thinking about my brothers life… obviously there was alcohol involved, but honestly when isn’t there. We were at our cousins house Saturday night, and having an in the backyard loud as hell R&B session… And when R&B/ slow jams are playing one tends to think about either romantic things or their last breakup. In this case I started thinking about my brothers ex-girlfriends and wondering if he had met any one of them at a different time in his life would one of them have ended up being my sister in-law. For those who know me I hope you know which one I’m talking about. I feel if he met this one Ex of his at a later time in his life things would’ve been different for them… In all honesty I think she was the One, but at the wrong time.

Then I started thinking if she was his soulmate. I know some might think “the One” and “soulmate” are one in the same, but I feel like they’re completely different. For me the One is that person who compliments you; who even though they might not see or believe things the same way you do they still want to be apart of your life, they want to make a life with you, they feel like they can’t live without you, that person who loves you unconditionally with your flaws and all that good shit that comes with you. I swear I read and watch way to much romantical shit, and it has ruined me for life. Any way, a soulmate is that person who you connect with on another level, someone you knows you inside and out, and not necessarily in a romantical way, it’s that person that you feel you can be your absolute self and you honestly don’t give a fuck what they think because they’re probably doing and the thinking the same thing about you. I feel like my brother has already found his soulmate, and it’s his best friend. Those two are like two peas in a pod, they’ve been best friends for as long as I can remember and they are still the best friends you would ever meet. At times I’m kind of jealous of their friendship… Of course I love my friends to death they are like my sisters, but this bond that my brother and my Brother from Anotha Motha (my brothers bestie) have is something beautiful. It’s like they were just meant to be in each others lives.

Well this was a lot longer than I thought it was going to be. That’s all for now… Maybe on Friday I’ll tell you about what I think I discovered about myself.

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( I’m sure there are people who have been fortunate enough to find both their soulmate and the One in one person, and I hope to one day be apart of those fortunate.)

Ps. I want to take this time to thank the men and women that have fought for our country and our freedom. You all are truly Amazing/Brave/Beautiful human beings and I love you all. Happy Veterans Day!

Viva Las Vegas!!

You know what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas… Well I guess not in this case but I hope this stays between us. The last stop of our Cali/West Coast adventure if you haven’t guessed yet is LAS VEGAS!!! Vegas is everything you could ever hope for. Amazing hotels, interesting people, a fantastic show and drinking out in the open while walking on the strip… Freaking amazing!!!

Those freaking hotels are incredible…I got to see the Eiffel Tower, the Bellagio fountain, I stayed in a freaking pyramid, but I wanna say the New York, New York hotel was the best one, but I’m pretty freaking biased.

So while we were there we saw this show called Zumanity Cirque de Soleil, and its a very sensual, sexy, beautiful show. The acrobatics were amazing. I was scared that these people were going to break their faces half the time and then would have to be taken to the emergency room with their titties and dicks hanging around… Oh by the way there was a lot of titties and bare asses, but sadly no ding a lings were bared which was kinda disappointing, but there were plenty of men wearing veeeeeery tight pants… If you know what I mean (wink wink)!

My favorite part about Vegas was just being able to walk up and down the Strip with my Drink and my two step my drink and my two step… Sorry sometimes the rapper and me just wants to be let lose (I call her Em-Dawgz). Any way yea being able to walk free with my drink in hand was BEAUTIFUL; if that wasn’t possible I would’ve been super pissed that I paid like 50 bucks ( totally exaggerating that by the way) for my drink and having to stay in the same hotel till I finish it, cuz you know fo sho that I wasn’t gonna waste my money or the alcohol.

Now I know the next time I got to Vegas I gotta go for at least 3 days to really enjoy everything it’s has to offer. You may return to your normally scheduled programs.

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( Till we meet again Vegas till we meet again!)

LA LA LAND!!!

Although Los Angeles was our (Myself and Sluttie McSlutterson) home base during our week California/West Coast Adventure, we were probably there for maybe two full days. We did a lot of traveling this trip… we might have overdone it for a one-week trip, but we couldn’t help ourselves.

Today is about my LA adventures… After we got back from San Francisco (at like 2am mind you…Never take the scenic route no matter how much you want to see the ocean.) the following day we scheduled a tour. It was called A Day in LA Tour, it wasn’t exactly what I was expecting; after looking at the pictures and reading the reviews I was expecting the tour to be like a bus party with some random LA facts and some sight seeing (and maybe even alittle bit of Celebrity sightings), but it was just some facts and sight seeing. It was nice getting to see Beverly Hills, Rodeo Drive, Griffith Park, The Hollywood Sign and the Walk of Fame, but it was kind of blah. Maybe it was the other people on our tour…which were basically from everywhere in the world. There were Australians and New Zealandians….New Zealians? Anyway that was the first time I heard and Australian/New Zealian accent in person… it was pretty awesome.

I don’t know why but LA wasn’t what I thought it was going to be… I was hoping I was going to see a bajillion celebrities like at least some D list ones and I got nothing… NOTHING!!!! I still get to check it off my list, and hopefully the next time I go I can actually spend more than two days exploring…then maybe I would find more fun things to do. Welp that’s all I got or tonight I gotta get ready for Arrow that’s starting in two minutes.

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,

Emily (by the way Santa Monica is super Awesome!!! That was where we were supposed to spend most of our trip)

 

 

San Francisco I Love You!!

 

“If your going to San Francisco, be sure to wear some flowers in your hair.” You sing it Scott Mckenzie. If you haven’t noticed today is San Francisco day.

So we (Sluttie McSluttersons and I) technically started our California adventure in Los Angeles and ooo what a day it was. We landed at around noon west coast time which is like 3pm normal Emily time. Any way the day before we left for our trip I checked the LA weather so I don’t sweat my face off when we land. Because it was rather cold in Jersey and it was going to be super duckin nova hot in LA,  I compromised and wore shorts and a sweater for the plane ride over there. I figured I’ve seen people from California wear sweaters in that blistering heat and they look perfectly fine. Soooo I figured I’d be good I’m wearing shorts! OOOOOHHHHH was I wrong, as soon as I stepped out of an air conditioned airport it was like the defrost was turned on full blast and my titties started to melt!!! I had swamp titties for the majority of my LA stay… Just in case you wanted to know.

Any who onward we go… Our San Francisco trip started very early we got up Sunday morning at around 5am wired and we were wondering why we’re so awake and then realized it’s freaking 8am in our east coast set minds. As I was saying we started our road trip rather earlier well because, you know and if you didn’t now you do, it’s like a 6 hour drive… And ooo did we see a lot on that drive there were so many mountains and farms and some more farms a couple of gas stations and then we finally made it to The Bay Area!!!

When we got to San Francisco we first attempted to find parking not a successful 2 hours. After parking the car we headed to the Fisherman’s Wharf where I had the BEST CLAM CHOWDER IN A BREAD BOWL, EVER!!! We explored the Wharf a little more, it was so beautiful, we got to see the trolleys that I’ve seen in so many movies and TV shows. When I first saw it of course the first thing I wanted to do was jump on and hang off the side like in the opening credits of Full House, but apparently that’s a big no no… They don’t allow that so obviously dreams were crushed, but it was still pretty awesome to see. The next morning is when we got to see THE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE, and it was as amazing as I’ve always thought it would be!!! No joke the bridge was pretty much the only reason we drove 6 hrs there and about 12 hrs back to our original destination (LA). If you ever drive to San Fran don’t take the scenic route back the LA!!! That was the worst decision we’ve ever made… Yes there was a lot of beautiful scenery, but once it gets dark and your in the middle of the Big Sur shit ain’t so pretty anymore! I’ve decided though the next time I go to San Fran I’m definitely going for a couple of days and I might not come back because I’m completely in love, but before I move I need to get my cardio game up because those hills are bananas!!!
It’s been swell until next time!

Love Ya From the Moon and Back,
Emily ( “If your going to San Francisco, your gonna meet some gentle people there.”)

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