I was having a pretty good night (Was being the operative word) until some little sucka duck pissed me off!!! I shall start from the beginning for thee.
So tonight I went to the movies with two of my slutties… We saw The Scorch Trials, which was fucking amazing… Not only am I slightly obsessed with Dylan O’Brien, but I’m okay I’m extremely obsessed. In all honesty this movie was amazing… If you haven’t seen The Maze Runner go see that one first then go see The Scorch Trials, you shan’t be disappointed! Any way back to my story. So after the movie Boobielicuous and I decide that we Hungry, so we made our way to Applebee’s, because you know half price appetizers after 10pm, and while we were there we saw some peeps and caught up with people.
While we were there these two couples on what look like a double date to me, but they could totes be swingers who knows. Anyway these couples sitting behind Boobielicious were right in my line of vision! And oooo was the PDA on full blast! These mofos have no respect for us lonely motherfuckers. There they were all huggy and kissy and sharing fucking dessert… LIKE WTF, give me a break I’m about to be in tears here being reminded of my singledom! My lonely, broke, lonely singledom.
After I’m already depressed because I’m there with my Sluttie instead of my future Ex-husband, Boobielicious decides she wants to stab me and twist the knife(metaphorically speaking, but ooo did it feel real!!) this WHORE points out that our waiter didn’t even ID me for the Pitcher of Peach Sangria I ordered, which I basically drank the whole thing, I only let Boobielicious have one glass, well that’s what she deserved for inadvertently calling me old and then for literally (must say with British accent) looking in my face and calling me old! Now you know Boobielicious why you are a WHORE and why you only got one glass!!!
At those point I was still having a good night and then this is where this little mofo in the Honda Civic with his little mofo friends come into the picture! These little dickheads were parked next to my Manny, and were just sitting there with their windows down talking shit. So when we got in the car and started to take off this little shit head asshole piece of horse manure takes off at the same time as me!!! And then the little slut bitch cunt licker sitting in the back throws up dueces out the window!!! I don’t know if you understand the anger that was coursing through me!! I was about to do some horrid horrid things to those little fubnuckers! I don’t think people understand that I keep my ghetto locked down at all times, but when you do some dumbass shit like that my inner Chonga comes out and it’s a bitch to lock her up again! Okay I feel better now. I’m sorry for all the profanity today I just couldn’t hold it back.
Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( now because I’m all worked up I’m hot as hell!)