Splinterz and Friendships

Today after one of the characters in the book I was reading got a splinter, I started thinking of the thousands of times I’ve gotten splinters. My parents used to tell me if I didn’t get the splinter out right away it would gradually make its way through my body and eventually get to my heart and kill me. Till this day I still don’t know if that’s true because I was too scared to ever test the theory. What if I left that splinter in for to long and it would get sucked into my blood stream and jab me in the heart when I was least expecting it! That was some scary shit. So if anybody gets a splinter please leave it in and let me know what happens…If I don’t hear from you I’m sorry our experiment has failed, but know that you did it for the greater good aaaaaand for me because I’m way too chicken shit to try.

On to our next topic… A tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme… Beauty and The Beast. Sorry I get distracted very easily. What I was trying to say is our topic is about that question everyone is asking in the world of worlds! Can a woman and a man be “just friends” or would someone mess shit up and catch feelings? People I did freaking research for this shit! Okay it wasn’t research exactly I just asked my coworkers and friends what their views were on this topic. I got some mixed feelings! From my Home girls, my Slutties, my Bitches and hoes this is what they had to say: “I fuck all my guy friends I’m no help” -Big Booty Judy, “of course they can be friends… Keep those feelings to yourself, bro-cha-cho” -Frover, “only if the guy is uglier than you” -Big Booty Judy, and then Sluttie Mcslutterson gave me like a paragraph of poop! So clearly my friends are super helpful! The ONLY guy friend that answered me (I shall come after those other mofos that didn’t… Watch your backs!!) had some solid points. He said that on some level your somewhat attracted to all your friends girl or guy because you find something in them that you like and want to be around.

Now some of my coworkers were like nah man I don’t think it’s possible for men and woman to be just friends. At some point one of both would find themselves sexually attracted to the other and then go Bowchikawowwow, go do the nasty, get some sexy time in! I might have paraphrased, don’t judge!

Here’s my take on this topic. I think it’s completely possible to be just friends. My guy best friend… Let’s call him Worst Best Friend Ever… and I have been friends since like 6th grade and I have never had any kind of romantical feelings towards him or him to me! He’s just my bestie!! My mind compartmentalizes for me: the guys that I like I don’t consider them friends they are simply crushes in my mind, and the guys that are my friends are just my friends. That way no line gets crossed from friendship to sexship or relationships (that word gives me the heebie-jeebies). There you have it people after all my research my brain has solved it all on its own! Damn my brain is Amazing! All you have to do is put shit in its place and don’t let it move from them!! Super easy!!!

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily (I think I have commitment issues and I don’t know why… Weird.)

Ps. The moral of the story is keep your feelings to yourself you big baby!

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