I had a fun little adventure today… Okay okay it wasn’t necessarily an adventure, but I’ll take what I can get. Any who, I had to go to my doctors office to pick up some papers, but the office closes at 6. Which isn’t bad, but my friends, the plot thickens… I get out of work at 5… Dum Dum Duuuuuuum…( thank you Tim… That was B.E.A.UTIFUL, I’ve missed you, I haven’t been using my musicians lately… And I’m very sorry for that guys). That’s not the only dilemma…the thick plot thickens again, I work at least half hour away from my doctors office and that’s on a no traffic day. Today was TRAFFIC CENTRAL!!! I’m telling you, once people see a drop of rain fall… It’s like their minds just shut off the part that knows how to drive.
I was behind soooooo many stuuuuupid people, that shit was bananas… BANANAS! One thing that made me laugh was that one of the stuuuuuuupid people was my Tio Platypus. If only he heard the obscene things I was calling him.
Anyway back to my story… At this point I look at the time and it says 5:45, and I was still about 15mins away from the doctors office. It was a race against the clock!!! It was intense, the whole time all I heard was the mission impossible theme song (dum dum dumdum dum dum dumdum… Pa nana pa nana… Dum dum dunna) shit got crazy! I started bobbing and weaving and I think I might have drifted. I just want to take this time to thank Grand Theft Auto for teaching me how to drive like a maniac… Ooo and also the movie Need for Speed, because I still had the adrenaline coursing through me after watching the movie on Sunday.
Okay sorry back to the story… At this point it’s like 5:55 and I’m stuck at the longest red light known to life!!! It felt like it took years off my life, but it was only really like a minute. Light turns green and I take off almost taking a pigeon with me ( I’m sorry pigeon!), I make a right, then a quick left, then another right…it’s now 5:58… I pull up to the doctors office my tires screeching. I got out of the car and run up the stairs… I ring the bell and……… ( the dots are to build up suspense) they let me in. As I opened the door I glanced at the hours of business thing hanging on the door, and this shit says they close at 7!!!! That franking bitch I called this morning said they close at 6!!! I spadidled (drove extremely fast) like a crazy person, almost became a pigeon murderer, and called my uncle horrid (must say with British accent) names! That freaking bitch! Now I’m here outside parked outside my house waiting for someone to get home because I managed to lose my keys somewhere in my house! Ooo Mommas home…I’m out, I gotta pee real bad!!
Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( the next star in the Need for Speed movie… *Wink wink*… Just in case they make a second one… I’m totes down)