So I’ve been slipping…Ayo I’m slippin I’m fallin I can’t get up, Ayo I’m slippin I’m fallin I can’t get up, Ayo I’m in slippin I’m fallin I gots to get, Get me back on my feet so I can tear shit up… Whoa!!! DMX jus’ don’ took over my body! Any way what I was saying is that it was brought to my attention by one of my friends, Mrs. Shark, that my Vino Viernes game hasn’t be on point. She literally said “no Vino Viernes, this is a disaster I’m deleting my account.” So from now on no matter how late I get home or if I’m not in the mood to drink (yes this happens… Gosh, I’m only human) I WILL drink on Vino Viernes. Because I don’t want to be yelled at again.
Now on to the wine!!! Today I’m trying a new brand. It’s called… MÉNAGE À TROIS… Hehehehe. When I saw it at the liquor store I just had to buy it. The name just pulled me in!!! So it’s Moscato… And if you know me you know I’m a big Moscato fan, aaaaand this one is in my top 5 on the Moscato list!!! It’s a little drier than what I’m used to, but it’s just Sooo good I even had to share with the parentals!!! I definitely recommend this one not only because it’s super DEEEELISH, but also because come on the name of the brand is pretty AWESOMEBALLZ!!
Soooo last night I was sucked into the YouTube Vortex!! What is the YouTube Vortex you ask? (when I ask myself these questions, I like to make believe there’s someone else actually asking me). Anyway the YouTube Vortex is when you start off watching some video at lets say 9pm and then the next time you look at the time it’s 2 in the morning and your like… WTF have I been watching for the past FIVE hrs!! Yes this happened to me last night! Everyone sit down its story time!!!
Once upon a time on the fourth day of the sixth month in thy two thousand and fifteenth year… This will take forever if I try and write my whole story in my version of Old English.
So it all started with a Buzzfeed video about a Starbucks interview where the last phase is how to write people’s names. Then right under that video there was a video called…why Starbucks spells your name wrong? It’s freaking HIGHLARIOUS!!! If you’ve ever been on YouTube you know that there’s a list either on the side or under the video you just watched that shows similar videos from what you’ve just watched… Well under that video was a video of how Ariana Grande would order at Starbucks. That is where the vortex sucks you in! You’ve been warned people!!
So when I clicked on that I watched it for a little bit, I didn’t really like it so I minimized it… And this is where my mistake happened… I should’ve just closed out YouTube but noooo. The next thing I know 2 hours have passed of me watching Ariana Grande, Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston, and Kelly Clarkson sing live! Not only were the videos of their own songs, I started watching the ones where they sing the national anthem. Giiiirrrl let me tell you… Goose bumps!!!
The next thing I know I’m watching videos of the funniest best man/maid of honor speeches! I have no clue how I got here!!! So now while I’m watching this I’m like if I ever become someone’s MOH… My speech has to be freaking AMAZEBALLZ!!! Then I was like what if I never get to become someone’s MOH, how will people ever hear this amazing, funny, heartwarming, but mostly funny speech that I’m preparing!
That’s when I stumbled upon a speech from the grooms sister!! And I was like YAAAAASSS!!! I have one of those things, you know a brother, so all I’m saying is my brothers future wife better let me have my moment in the spot light, because if not that bitch gon’ get got!!!
Dearest Brother of mine if your reading this I have two very important things to tell you: 1. Hurry the F*** Up and get married because this speech is gonna be LENGEN… Wait for it and I hope your not lactose intolerant because the second half of this word is…DARY!!! And 2. Tell future wifey not to get on my bad side! So yea I’m done bye!
Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily (yes, yes I did just quote Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother and I did it real good)
Ps. I’m obsessed with Buzzfeed!!