Sooo it’s more like Cerveza (Beer) Fridays… todays Vino was not drinkable…that shit was like freaking poison. I’m pretty sure it’s currently burning a hole in my tum tum. What wine am I killing myself with you ask. Well like I told you last week I had bought to bottles of the Cupcake brand Vino…a red one and a white one. Last week I had Sahara Desert Red. This week I attempted to drink Skull and Cross Bone Poison white…I pretty sure the bottle has that on the warning label. I know everyone has specific tastes, but this Cupcake “Angel Food Cake” was the freaking devil!! I think they made it with freaking jalapeños; I didn’t know that angel food cake was spicy. I’m sorry Houdini (the friend…or should I say enemy that recommended this vino brand) but I am not a fan of this brand of wine! Since it is Friday, how could I not drink something alcoholic…hence why today should actually be called Cerveza Fridays. I traded that death contraption for one of my favorite beers…Stella…yuummmm! So now I am in a much happier mood. Shall we move on?
So remember when I wrote that they ended up not needing me for jury duty…well I spoke to soon. Later on that day I received some wonderful news… I had to report to jury duty the next day. I know most people would be like…WHY ME!!! NO!!! I DON’T WANNA!! I actually didn’t mind… I was super excited that I was given this GREAT POWER!!! I was gonna start putting mofos in jail, or getting people the money they deserve… “It’s their money and they need it NOW”. I get to the courthouse and my excitement keeps growing…I’m looking around to see where the hell I have to go and BAM!!! Me thinks me founds the new love of my life…this cop was so freaking DEEELISH!!! I was about to be like “excuse me sir I want to make a citizens arrest, because you stole my heart”…ooo or “Did it hurt? When you fell outta heaven.” Ooo or “Do you have a band aide? Because I scraped my knee falling for you.” Okay okay I’m done…but I’m telling you I saw hearts floating around this mans head. I didn’t even care about righting wrongs anymore…it was love at first sight…well for me. As I walked away from my future ex-husband, I told my self I’ll do this jury duty stuff all the time if he’s gonna be here. After being distracted I finally reach where I have to be, and four hours later…. I wasn’t chosen again… but I spent the morning imaging my life with my future cop ex-husband. We would watch Netflix together, we would drink together, we would watch some more Netflix together. I know it was B.E.A.UTIFUL. So it was a pretty productive day for me. Ooo and Manny Mandingo (that’s my cars name) got a bath yesterday!! He’s so fresh and so clean clean.
I’m sorry guys, besides me sitting in traffic for an hour…my life was not eventful today. Maybe I’ll have something good for you next week.
Don’t forget Lunatics this Sunday is Mothers Day!!! I got my mum a mothers day card and I’m going to tweak it a little bit…it’s gonna be HIGHlarious. I’ll post a picture on Monday.
Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily (master pick up artist… My love for you is like diarrhea; I just can’t hold it in…okay okay I’m done now)