Yassssss!!! Vino Viernes has finally arrived and I’m ready to DRINK!!!! We’re starting off with one of my favorites…Sweet Red by Barefoot… it’s so super SCRUM DIDILI-YUM-SHUS.

So when I wrote last week that Fridays would be wine night, I don’t think I fully thought this through. On days that I post something new I usually write the night before, sometimes even a couple days before, so I’m able to publish the post in the morning. That way it gives all these Lunatics that read this more time to enjoy the AWESOME (I’m telling you cheerleading was a god sent, that is how I learned to spell most words) that spews (Siri totes just helped me spell that) on to the page. Just in case you didn’t catch that, Lunatics is what I’ve decided to call everyone that reads this because you can’t be normal to read anything that comes out of my dome (I just felt a little like a rapper…that was fun). As a wise Skully/Beanie (a winter hat that I sometimes where at home for no reason) once whispered to me “NORMAL IS BORING”.

Holy Hannah Montana…I just went through my instagram to look for a picture to show you guys and when I tell you that I look like an alcoholic, I am not joking. How does anybody take me serious with all this alcohol I drink, there was literally some type of mixed drink, beer, wine, and even a freaking FISH BOWL!!! A FISH BOWL people…this shit is Bananas (B.A.N.A.N.A.S… Gwen Stefani!!!) Liver 1 and Liver 2 (I know I should have more original names but I don’t) I’m sorry for all the damage I’ve caused you.

SO WHAT I WAS SAYING….ooops I forgot to un-caps… ummm (sorry lost my train of thought) what I was saying is that I usually write my posts the day before it comes out. But then if I did that it wouldn’t be Vino Viernes… so I think I’ve come up with a solution, this is going to be a test run. It is currently 12:17AM…FRIDAY YASSSS!!!! And I’m here sitting in my room doing some solo drinking in my B.E.A.UTIFUL (Jim Carrey, in Bruce Almighty, helped me spell that one) wine glass that one of my slutties (lets call her BOOBIELICIOUS) got me for Christmas. So I’m probably going to wake up late, hungover, and looking like a hot mess all morning because of my dedication to Vino Viernes and to all you Lunatics.

I’m going to talk a little bit about some of my slutties tonight. You’ve already met Frover (if your wondering it means Friend Lover) and Boobielicious, now you shall meet Sluttie McSlutterson, Big Booty Judy, Ditzy Doodle, and Mamasita. Frover and I have our own universe, where we live in a community full of gay black men, because we have a serious fetish…don’t judge my issues I won’t judge yours. Next, who you just met, is Boobielicious this sluttie has been around since I was a wee little lad, and we plan on going shopping after I get outta work later so I can get re-drunk at a friends B-Day party later on tonight…Boobielicious let him know I said Happy Belated BDAY!! Sluttie McSlutterson, I call her this so much that my phone (OH M YEZZUS… I can’t believe I haven’t named my phone… today is the day, we shall call him…Bartholomew), any who, Bartholomew already auto fills it in for me. HAHAHAHAHA!! Big Booty Judy…this sluttie is probably the craziest of us all…she needs to walk around with a warning sign that says “will say inappropriate things at all times”, but I loves it… it makes me feel less crazy. Ditzy Doodle just cracks me up all the time, she’s the girliest of us all and sometimes you just need someone who likes pink in your group, nah mean. Mamasita is the sexy beast that used to host our, lets just say not legal drinking age parties back in the day. Mum don’t read the line before this one okay…and if you already did don’t hold it against me I’m not in my right mind there’s Vino in my system, otherwise I wouldn’t have told you anything.

Well, ta ta for now, unless my mum grounds me for my past indiscretions… I was young and dumb mum…love you (*wink*)

 

Love Ya from the Moon and back,

Emily (hopefully you’ll here from me next week… if not Taily, my puppy nugget, gets everything I own… its in my Will)