OOO Vanessa Carlton…kinda sorta love her. Last night I was watching Miss Congeniality (The first one though I’m not a big fan of the second), and it reminded me of the time when my Aunt (I called her Titz because it basically just shortened Titi…well not really same amount of letters… weeeell it was fun screaming it through stores) any who back to what I was saying… Titz and my mum (must be said with British accent) used to say my uncle (their brother..let’s call him Tio Platypus) was Miss Congeniality. I never understood why they would call him that because he was, well I don’t want to call him an asshole but if the shoe fits…okay no I joke it was just difficult to get along with him. He was nothing like Gracie Lou Freebush from New Jersey. So you understand why my 10-year-old mind was very confusedies. One day I asked my aunt why they called Tio Miss Congeniality when he was a meany (just remember this movie came out in 2000 I was a youngin…I wasn’t allowed to curse back then, well in front of grow-ups anyway). My aunt replied with a laugh and said “Mimi it’s because he’s an asshole.” I must have looked like I was trying to solve some algebraic crap (like I wrote before that’s not my cup of tea) because she decided to finally tell me she was being sarcastic. I said OOOO I get it, laughed and walked away (I had no clue what that meant either so I looked up the definition…bwuhahahaha). The moral of this story people is that that’s when my sarcasm and an evil genius was born…and thank goodness for that it’s much more fun to say mean things when it’s laced in sarcasm (you know not that I would ever say such mean things or anything, that’s all Delilah).

BASEBALL IS BAAAAAACK!!! I’ve lived and loved baseball for as long as I can remember. Although, when I was younger I used to get dragged to Snot Rockets, aka my brothers, games All. The. Time. Of course I hated going because I couldn’t play I could only watch, but that is where I met some of my closest friends, so It wasn’t all that bad (I’m sure our parents would say differently though). The running joke in my house was that I would come back dirtier than my brother and he’s the one that was supposed to be sliding around in dirt and grass (I did tell you that I was a demon child…I’m reformed now… I was a member of DCA…Demon Child Anonymous). Any way what I was trying to say is that right around that time when my homies and I used to sneak through broken gates at the little league to get to the park in the back (we were all under the age of 10 just so you know, hehehe good times) I fell IN LOVE with DEREK JETER (Derek Jeter, Baseball they’re basically the same thing)!!! He’s still and will always be the love of my life, but sadly I don’t think baseball is anymore. How am I supposed to watch the Yankees play without him, I honestly only used to watch the games for my husband (YES HE’S MY HUSBAND…SO BACK OFF!!!). Well I guess we’ll have to see what happens this season.

Before I bid you adieu there’s something that I’ve been wondering. Why isn’t there a gesture other than the middle finger to show the proper amount of anger, sorry Rufus and Mindy (those are my middle fingers names) you guys just aren’t given me what I need to express myself anymore. Like when a freaking cheese dick decides to cut you off in the middle of the freaking TURNPIKE and slow down instead of speeding up like a normal freaking human being… the middle finger just doesn’t cut it… I almost got out of my car and jabbed that MOFO in the throat. Well today was fun…until next time.

 

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,

Emily ( aka Mrs. Emily-Ann Jeter)